Heavy Soul Tie?

[lone_pilgrim]

This is my first post here.

My story:

I'm 22 years old. When I was twenty I had a boyfriend for a little over a year. I met him while in grade school, but we never dated. Later, we reconnected and began hanging out a lot. Eventually we dated and the relationship turned more serious. I am sad to say that I had premarital sex with him. I lost my virginity to my first boyfriend and I was the only girl that he had ever been with.

I loved him and wanted to marry him, so when he broke up with me it devastated me. I felt empty for months. It's been a year and a half now and I still think about him very often. I have prayed to God to break all unhealthy soul ties that I had with him and the previous boyfriend. I have prayed the prayers many times. I never think about the first guy, but this one is always on my mind even when I'm not down and out. I don't understand why. I have asked God's forgiveness and make good choices ever since we broke up. I'm not having sex again until I'm married and I don't smoke and drink very lightly. I have also tried to stay away from parties and anything else that could be harmful.

Is the soul tie still in place. I know that what I did was wrong, but I did want to marry this man and be with him forvever. He gave me a ring, but I guess that didn't mean marriage. To him it was just a very nice present.

Please help.

 

[lone_pilgrim]

The worst part is...

I have a Godly boyfriend now. I prayed that God would send me my spouse, and it seems that he may have.

I am plagued my thoughts of my past about my second boyfriend. When we dated I told myself that I would love him forever, no matter what. I was a very committed person. And I feel so bad when I think about the past because it isn't my boyfriends fault. I feel married to my ex boyfriend whom I will never see again. :help

 

[lone_pilgrim]

My soul truly is torn is two directions. A double minded man is unstable in all of his ways.

I feel as though a part of me shall always be married to my ex, though I've tried MANY MANY MANY times to break the soul tie and be free from sin.

 

[sherri2]

Have you forgiven your ex for taking what he took (even if you gave it) and yourself for your sin?

Without forgiveness I think it's impossible to break a soul tie (from my experience anyway.)

Pray about it and ask God what he thinks about it. This can be crucial. He will have an opinion. Go to him and find out.

That can be your way out. Otherwise it might haunt you for the rest of your life.

I've known people who have had more partners then they could possibly ever remember, break the soul ties and pretty much walk away and I've known of struggles with just one or two that lasted years. Let God be your guide - and whatever you do don't buy the 'God has forgiven you from ALL your sins, little peanut, have peace, forget about it' rubbish that other well meaning (but ignorant) christians might throw at you. Go to GOD about it. Let him have his say. He loves you, and this affects your future relationships, so it's not just you involved. You can trust him. (He is more merciful then you could possibly imagine, even in this area.) He's for us not against us.

Killing us for something we're desperatly sorry for won't help him or us.

 

[Tina]

.

I have a Godly boyfriend now.

So I assume your second boyfriend wasn't a Christian ?

I am plagued my thoughts of my past about my second boyfriend. When we dated I told myself that I would love him forever, no matter what. I was a very committed person. And I feel so bad when I think about the past because it isn't my boyfriends fault. I feel married to my ex boyfriend whom I will never see again.

Herein lies the problem .... The Bible says that "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit" (Proverbs 18:21).

You told yourself that you would love him forever no matter what, and he wasn't a Christian. That's where the bondage had been created. You had established an unhealthy and ungodly emotional tie with an unbeliever whom you had premarital sex with and whom you feel "married" to ever since.

Just repent ... and ask God to break the bondage and obsession ....

 

[lone_pilgrim]

.




So I assume your second boyfriend wasn't a Christian ?






Herein lies the problem .... The Bible says that "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit" (Proverbs 18:21).

You told yourself that you would love him forever no matter what, and he wasn't a Christian. That's where the bondage had been created. You had established an unhealthy and ungodly emotional tie with an unbeliever whom you had premarital sex with and whom you feel "married" to ever since.

Just repent ... and ask God to break the bondage and obsession ....

I am having trouble. I have asked God to break all ungodly vows that I made with this relationship. I've really made a lot of effort and it doesn't seem to be working.

To answer your question, no my second boyfriend wasn't a Christian. He was on the fence about where he stood with his faith.

 

[lone_pilgrim]

Have you forgiven your ex for taking what he took (even if you gave it) and yourself for your sin?

Without forgiveness I think it's impossible to break a soul tie (from my experience anyway.)

Pray about it and ask God what he thinks about it. This can be crucial. He will have an opinion. Go to him and find out.

That can be your way out. Otherwise it might haunt you for the rest of your life.

I've known people who have had more partners then they could possibly ever remember, break the soul ties and pretty much walk away and I've known of struggles with just one or two that lasted years. Let God be your guide - and whatever you do don't buy the 'God has forgiven you from ALL your sins, little peanut, have peace, forget about it' rubbish that other well meaning (but ignorant) christians might throw at you. Go to GOD about it. Let him have his say. He loves you, and this affects your future relationships, so it's not just you involved. You can trust him. (He is more merciful then you could possibly imagine, even in this area.) He's for us not against us.

Killing us for something we're desperatly sorry for won't help him or us.

Yes, I have forgiven my ex boyfriend a thousand times for what he did and I have asked to to forgive me for taking his virginity. It did mean something to me and still does. I wanted to marry him and be with him forever. I didn't take something like that lightly.

 

[jasoncran]

This is my first post here.

My story:

I'm 22 years old. When I was twenty I had a boyfriend for a little over a year. I met him while in grade school, but we never dated. Later, we reconnected and began hanging out a lot. Eventually we dated and the relationship turned more serious. I am sad to say that I had premarital sex with him. I lost my virginity to my first boyfriend and I was the only girl that he had ever been with.

I loved him and wanted to marry him, so when he broke up with me it devastated me. I felt empty for months. It's been a year and a half now and I still think about him very often. I have prayed to God to break all unhealthy soul ties that I had with him and the previous boyfriend. I have prayed the prayers many times. I never think about the first guy, but this one is always on my mind even when I'm not down and out. I don't understand why. I have asked God's forgiveness and make good choices ever since we broke up. I'm not having sex again until I'm married and I don't smoke and drink very lightly. I have also tried to stay away from parties and anything else that could be harmful.

Is the soul tie still in place. I know that what I did was wrong, but I did want to marry this man and be with him forvever. He gave me a ring, but I guess that didn't mean marriage. To him it was just a very nice present.

Please help.

God lord i can relate. I lost my virginity to a married woman who was seperated from her husband, and i did fall in love with her. stupid me. she up and left me(suprise suprise). i took me years to stop wanting her even though i knew it wasnt meant to be.

let the lord heal this and take it and dont look back. but let the lord bring one into your life.

 

[sherri2]

PS.

I've known people who have had more partners then they could possibly ever remember, break the soul ties and pretty much walk away

I've been thinking about this statement ever since I wrote it and I just want to add a bit in case somebody gets the wrong idea.

What I mean by 'walk away' is to walk out of soul ties but not temptation. I've never known anyone with a heavy past sexually who got over it in a few years. The lust, the temptation, the backsliding. Not everyone I know has backslid but I've never seen anyone become as fresh as a daisy over a short period in this area. It can take a longgg time to get your head and soul around purity when you've been promiscuous (or even just had a few partners.)

I once knew an ex-stripper who got really saved and never looked back. She was happily married a few years later to a nice, christian man, but she was exceptional. I mean she was at the point where she felt embaressed taking her clothes off at the beach.

Forgive yourself but don't underestimate the long term struggle. I guess that's all I'm trying to say. And don't be unrealistic about future partners. God can restore you and wants to, but it can take years. Go into it with your eyes open and DON'T EVER expect your future partner to pick up the slack. Ever.

I'm not trying to lay a guilt trip on you, but I've just seen it happen so many times. Inequality regarding experience in this area can do so much damage. Forgiving yourself is crucial, but don't ever lie to anyone in the future about it.

You'll get there if you want it and are willing to follow wherever God leads you on this journey, but realise it can take time.

All the best with it (I looked for a hugging smily to insert here but couldn't find one.)

God bless


PPS. I've know of ex gays, addicts, even a trannie that lived happily ever after with a church born and bred wife but they're rare. And those women had a lot of grace. Anything is possible 'for those who believe' (I've even heard stories of women getting their virginity back biologically (only a couple of instances) so don't beat yourself up over it for the rest of your life.

Forgiving ourselves (and I mean really forgiving ourselves) can sometimes be the hardest thing of all.

 

[lone_pilgrim]

PS.

I've been thinking about this statement ever since I wrote it and I just want to add a bit in case somebody gets the wrong idea.

What I mean by 'walk away' is to walk out of soul ties but not temptation. I've never known anyone with a heavy past sexually who got over it in a few years. The lust, the temptation, the backsliding. Not everyone I know has backslid but I've never seen anyone become as fresh as a daisy over a short period in this area. It can take a longgg time to get your head and soul around purity when you've been promiscuous (or even just had a few partners.)

I once knew an ex-stripper who got really saved and never looked back. She was happily married a few years later to a nice, christian man, but she was exceptional. I mean she was at the point where she felt embaressed taking her clothes off at the beach.

Forgive yourself but don't underestimate the long term struggle. I guess that's all I'm trying to say. And don't be unrealistic about future partners. God can restore you and wants to, but it can take years. Go into it with your eyes open and DON'T EVER expect your future partner to pick up the slack. Ever.

I'm not trying to lay a guilt trip on you, but I've just seen it happen so many times. Inequality regarding experience in this area can do so much damage. Forgiving yourself is crucial, but don't ever lie to anyone in the future about it.

You'll get there if you want it and are willing to follow wherever God leads you on this journey, but realise it can take time.

All the best with it (I looked for a hugging smily to insert here but couldn't find one.)

God bless


PPS. I've know of ex gays, addicts, even a trannie that lived happily ever after with a church born and bred wife but they're rare. And those women had a lot of grace. Anything is possible 'for those who believe' (I've even heard stories of women getting their virginity back biologically (only a couple of instances) so don't beat yourself up over it for the rest of your life.

Forgiving ourselves (and I mean really forgiving ourselves) can sometimes be the hardest thing of all.

God has done a miracle for me. During my prayers this past weekend it was revealed to me that I was harboring bitterness in my heart for my ex boyfriend and had not yet forgiven him. Although I had tried to forgive him many times before I believe that it failed because I made a binding soul tie with my mouth, "I will love him forever."

I never said those words aloud but in my heart they have always been there. I have felt some sort of weight or chain around me even though he was gone from me, he's still here with me. I was having instances where I would get angry sometimes for no reason (not like me at all as I am a docile, kind person) and I was doing unusual things...things that my ex boyfriend used to do. I was becoming LIKE him. I know now that I did some serious damage the day that I made that vow with myself. Soul ties are real and they do connect you to that person in spirit though you cannot see it.

While I prayed for God to break the vow I asked for his forgiveness and I heard this in my head:

Write him a letter forgiving him and explain that he should also forgive you even though you never intentionally hurt him.

I may do that next year when I'm in a good place and return the ring that he gave me in the letter. Is that appropriate?

After I prayed the prayer I felt like something had been lifted off of me, like a tie or knot. It's hard to explain, but it isn't there anymore. I tried to think of a romantic moment that we both shared together and see if I had strong feelings for it - it was like they were just past memories this time. He seems almost ORDINARY now.

I do not believe I am a promiscuous person. The two men that I slept with were people that I wanted to marry and be with for the rest of my life. They are at fault too. With the first one I was very naive and I had never had a boyfriend. The guy pressured me into sex. Believe me, I hated every moment of it and wondered when he would be asking me to get engaged to him. He had talked about houses he would move into after college and what he wanted to do with his life. I really did love the second guy with all my heart. I miss him, but I don't feel like a part of me is missing anymore.

God has done a miracle for me. The last few days I've been vibrant and full of energy. Whatever knot was above my head for the past year and a half seems to have gone. I'm not sure how to describe it.

I haven't felt this well in a long time.

Could it be that unforgiveness caused me to get sick last year? I got tonsillitus, a staph infection, and a breast tumor. It was just one bad thing after another.

 

[lone_pilgrim]

You may not believe me, but I do not feel tempted sexually. There are men that I find attractive, but I know what I'm looking for now: commitment.

I will not have sex again until I'm married.

 

[destiny]

Praise God, lone pilgram! Glad you are free! It's a good thing to remember just how much unforgivness binds us to those we hold it against. It's like carrying that person around with you 24-7.. it literally is baggage. So glad that Jesus is a mighty deliverer. Obey the Lord and you will stay free!

 

[sherri2]

That's really great news. I'm so pleased for you. Yes it's taken years for me to forgive some people too. Soul ties are so real. Thanks for sharing that.

you wrote:

I may do that next year when I'm in a good place and return the ring that he gave me in the letter. Is that appropriate?

I'd suggest just pray about it. Maybe God will give you the strength now to deal with the whole thing and get it over with. But perhaps later is better also. Let him guide you.

I went out with a guy once (my first serious bf). Unfortunatly he was an ex-christian on a fast track out the door, but he gave me the impression that he was open and perhaps about to be called. Guy was a charltan. Anyway I fell for him big time. I got out luckily before he got me into bed but I had a lot of resentment towards him for many years afterwards.
I got spirit-filled shortly after breaking up with him and one of the ladies ministering to me said that she felt I still has some object or something that connected me to him. Now I was still in love with him at this stage and he had given me a necklace with a pendant made out of white gold and a ruby that he'd designed himself. Pretty special. Now obviously I wore this all the time and I told her about it and she said that she felt God wanted me to ditch it, so I did.

It was hard, believe me but I really felt the difference when I gave that up. It was definatly tying me to him on some level. I felt a bit ungrateful about it, but what can you do?

Sometimes a simple object can create a tie with someone that you really don't want to be tied to. (PS. and this is kind of personal, but my parents divorced when I was fairly young and my mum gave me her wedding ring to wear because I thought it was pretty and she no longer wanted it. - Anyway I did that quite happily (it was gold afterall) when during an offering one time I distinctly heard God tell me to put it in the offering bag. That was hard too - as it was the only piece of real jewellery I had at the time, but I did it, and felt something spiritual lift off me. When I prayed about it later, I felt that I'd invited a curse or spirit on myself because of the broken covenant on that ring.) Anyways I felt much better, so it just goes to show. Objects can be sneaky if they have deep connections to us that have spiritual ties.

Hope that helps.

I'm really glad to hear you're feeling better.

God bless.

 

[handy]

I've been reading through this thread with interest and honestly a good deal of dismay.

This issue of "soul ties" can we discuss this? Because I see some really harmful effects happening via an idea that somehow our soul is "tied" to someone, and I'm not sure where you all are coming from with this. I don't think this is a solid biblical teaching.

Now, here's the thing, I've been a Christian well over 30 years now, and have learned that there are all kinds of very harmful, incredibly harmful false teachings that are based upon certain verses. However, the texts are taken out of context or not cross-referenced enough with the rest of Scriptures, so that a lie is being presented as Biblical truth. Having been involved in a cult which used nothing but the Bible, however, the Bible was so mis-applied by them, I know how damaging this kind of bad theology can be.

So, I would like to discuss soul ties using chapter:verse texts in order to get at what is truth. Truth is what sets us free, not getting rid of old jewelery.

I'm not saying this to disparage anyone, and this is by no means a debate forum. I'm saying this because lone_pilgrim is truly hurting, and she needs answeres based firmly in the truth of God's word, not in bad theology.

 

[lone_pilgrim]

I've been reading through this thread with interest and honestly a good deal of dismay.

This issue of "soul ties" can we discuss this? Because I see some really harmful effects happening via an idea that somehow our soul is "tied" to someone, and I'm not sure where you all are coming from with this. I don't think this is a solid biblical teaching.

Now, here's the thing, I've been a Christian well over 30 years now, and have learned that there are all kinds of very harmful, incredibly harmful false teachings that are based upon certain verses. However, the texts are taken out of context or not cross-referenced enough with the rest of Scriptures, so that a lie is being presented as Biblical truth. Having been involved in a cult which used nothing but the Bible, however, the Bible was so mis-applied by them, I know how damaging this kind of bad theology can be.

So, I would like to discuss soul ties using chapter:verse texts in order to get at what is truth. Truth is what sets us free, not getting rid of old jewelery.

I'm not saying this to disparage anyone, and this is by no means a debate forum. I'm saying this because lone_pilgrim is truly hurting, and she needs answeres based firmly in the truth of God's word, not in bad theology.

Hi Handy,

I think that the idea of a soul tie (or spiritual binding to a person) could come from verses such as:

Matthew 19:4-6

Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

For me, through the act of sex I became one with my ex boyfriend, which I believe also happened spiritually. Even when he was mean to me I would not break up with him because in my heart I had made a vow to "love him forever" and it seems that the vow kept me tied to him until now.

With reference to the jewelry, there may be no biblical basis for that, but on websites I've read that it can represent and ungodly relationship. Therefore, such items should be tossed if a person is no longer walking in sin, etc. My ex boyfriend also gave me a very expensive watch (several hundred dollars) that I mailed to my friend out in California. I felt compelled to do it (or even break it) and I don't know why. Perhaps it was because it represented a gift that I received during fornication.

What I think hurt me the most was making the vow that I did. I have felt so much better in the last few days, as if a weight has been lifted off of me. I can physically feel lighter.

 

[Keri]

God will heal, especially through time. Hang in there. Stay strong on your commitment not to have premarital sex again. It will be worth it. Praying for you!

 

[handy]

I've been doing some reading on "soul ties" and my honest opinion is that this is a new-age concept that some teachers have slapped some biblical texts to.

Even the text you share l-p, speaks of becoming one flesh, not one soul. 1 Corinthians 6:16 also speaks of sexual sin being a joining of the flesh not the soul. Marriage is indeed a stronger bond, but marriage is NOT sex, the bible clearly teaches that there is a difference between a married couple and fornication or adultery. I assure you the concept of soul ties, being tied or bound to another person's soul especially through sexual activity is not a concept found in Scripture.

Now, the vow, that is something different. The bible does warn us about making rash vows. It is most likely this vow that is your main stumbling block, but I want to be clear as to why!!!!! It is not because the vow has some mystical, superstitious power over you. It is because God has said for us not to make rash vows, and you did. It is a sin to be repented of (which you have) and forgiven, (and God has forgiven you.)


There is really nothing more for you to do about your sin in this area except to rest upon God's assurance of forgiveness. If He fails to forgive you and renew you, then it would make Him a liar, an impossibility. As for your feelings about other things, please see my PM to you!

Heavenly Father, I ask that You give Your young daughter peace and the assurance of Your love and forgiveness. In the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ, Who was the only One ever born of a woman to not sin, Amen!

 

[Tina]

.

I assure you the concept of soul ties, being tied or bound to another person's soul especially through sexual activity is not a concept found in Scripture.

I'm not sure about that .... Read the whole of Numbers 30.


Numbers 30:13
Every vow and every binding oath to afflict her soul, her husband may confirm it, or her husband may make it void.


That certainly sounds like soul tie to me ....

 

[sherri2]

You're also negating our personal experiences. Basically just saying we're lying.

 

[jasoncran]

You're also negating our personal experiences. Basically just saying we're lying.

i'll chime in. being into some things new age, i found that when i had sex with a girl i was able to sense her easier. even if i just touched her.

that soul thing from sex isnt in the bible. we cant always base what the bible says on our experiences. exegesis is us looking at the bible and lining up with it. not the other way around.

and what i mean by sense. a phsychic link.