He'll forgive your cheatin' ways, as long as it's another girl Study: Men aren't jeal

[Lewis]

Half of men would forgive their female partner's infidelity, as long as it was with another woman, according to a new study on cheating. Men aren't jealous of girlfriend's homosexual affair because they fantasize having multiple partners
Women, however, were less likely to forgive and forget if their boyfriend had been with another man, the University of Texas at Austin study showed.
Researchers asked 718 college students to imagine being in a long-term <nobr style="color: darkgreen; font-family: Georgia,Times,serif; font-size: 100%; font-weight: normal;" id="itxt_nobr_2_0">relationship</nobr> and what their reactions would be to several different cheating scenarios.
They found that overall, 50 percent of men would likely continue a relationship with a woman who had a dalliance with another woman, while 22 percent said they could forgive betrayal with another man.


For women, the results were reversed. If their boyfriend cheated with another woman, 28 percent said they'd keep him around, but only 21 percent said they would if he cheated with another man.
Published this month in the journal "Personality and Individual Differences," the study concluded the participant's reactions were based on basic jealousy instincts.
"A robust jealousy mechanism is activated in men and women by different types of cues -- those that threaten paternity in men and those that threaten abandonment in women," said Jaime Confer, the study's lead author and a PhD candidate in evolutionary psychology.

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Men, they said, felt more threatened by a rival male because of paternity uncertainty, whereas they saw a female partner's homosexual affair as "an opportunity to mate with more than one woman simultaneously, satisfying men's greater desire for more partners."
Mark Cloud, one of the study co-authors, stressed in an interview that the homosexual infidelity scenario they asked participants to imagine was very rare in reality.
So, the researchers asked participants about their real experiences with cheating. There again, men showed less tolerance of cheating than women.
"Men were significantly more likely than women to have ended their actual relationships following a partner's affair," according to the study.


He'll forgive infidelity, as long as it's another girl - Health - Sexual health - msnbc.com

 

[jasoncran]

Re: He'll forgive your cheatin' ways, as long as it's another girl Study: Men aren't

without getting this into a homosexual debate.

my wife when i first met her, was rather upset that i did what i did.

i didnt tell her at first because i wanted to wait for the right time.

a friend told her before i did.

that went over well.

 

[Lewis]

Re: He'll forgive your cheatin' ways, as long as it's another girl Study: Men aren't

Nope don't want a debate, just giving out important information. So to the others this not intended for any kind of debate.

 

[pjt]

Re: He'll forgive your cheatin' ways, as long as it's another girl Study: Men aren't

I`m a woman and I definitely would find it MUCH harder to stay with my husband if he cheated with a man. I have a children so if he cheated with a woman, I probably be open to reconciliation for the sake of my children. But cheating with another man is another thing. I`d have to think about AIDS and what all this meant.

Also, I would feel horrible as a woman if my husband turned to a man. It`s like the worst insult for a woman that she is so inadequate that her husband has to turn to a man. With another woman at least it`s a woman, but to forsake all women and go to a man would be too much for me.

In your case Jason, you had a relationship with a man before you married didn`t you? If that is the case, I think it would be hard for a woman but much easier than after marriage because she can pride herself in being your ultimate choice even above men. You could have gone either way but you picked her. But after marriage it`s like a rejection of a woman`s total womanhood. Being with another woman is not a rejection of a wife`s womanhood, although it may feel like a rejection of her as a person but not her total womanhood. Does that make sense?

 

[jasoncran]

Re: He'll forgive your cheatin' ways, as long as it's another girl Study: Men aren't

I`m a woman and I definitely would find it MUCH harder to stay with my husband if he cheated with a man. I have a children so if he cheated with a woman, I probably be open to reconciliation for the sake of my children. But cheating with another man is another thing. I`d have to think about AIDS and what all this meant.

Also, I would feel horrible as a woman if my husband turned to a man. It`s like the worst insult for a woman that she is so inadequate that her husband has to turn to a man. With another woman at least it`s a woman, but to forsake all women and go to a man would be too much for me.

In your case Jason, you had a relationship with a man before you married didn`t you? If that is the case, I think it would be hard for a woman but much easier than after marriage because she can pride herself in being your ultimate choice even above men. You could have gone either way but you picked her. But after marriage it`s like a rejection of a woman`s total womanhood. Being with another woman is not a rejection of a wife`s womanhood, although it may feel like a rejection of her as a person but not her total womanhood. Does that make sense?

that happened in 2001,(met in dec of 2000 and married in 01) THE Days of bisexuality were done in 96.

but the problem i will face till the ban is lifted i can never ever donate blood, nor my wife.
i am clean and have never had any issues with aids/herpes and hepatitis.

 

[pjt]

Re: He'll forgive your cheatin' ways, as long as it's another girl Study: Men aren't

that happened in 2001,(met in dec of 2000 and married in 01) THE Days of bisexuality were done in 96.

but the problem i will face till the ban is lifted i can never ever donate blood, nor my wife.
i am clean and have never had any issues with aids/herpes and hepatitis.

Yes, that`s the difference. You did not turn to a homosexual relationship AFTER marriage. Before is much more forgiveable than after.

 

[jasoncran]

Re: He'll forgive your cheatin' ways, as long as it's another girl Study: Men aren't

Yes, that`s the difference. You did not turn to a homosexual relationship AFTER marriage. Before is much more forgiveable than after.

if my wife became a lesbian or was one(or a bi) and came out and i was still married, there could be no reconcilation as i would expect her to a least come foreward before we married as i would be surely understandable as once was in that community

i do agree that men tolerate lesbians and bi women more then male homosexuals and bis. i hate that double standard.

 

[pjt]

Re: He'll forgive your cheatin' ways, as long as it's another girl Study: Men aren't

if my wife became a lesbian or was one(or a bi) and came out and i was still married, there could be no reconcilation as i would expect her to a least come foreward before we married as i would be surely understandable as once was in that community

i do agree that men tolerate lesbians and bi women more then male homosexuals and bis. i hate that double standard.

I don`t think it`s a double standard at all. I think it is just the way the genders look at it. I mean the study said the men would be more likely to forgive a woman for having a homosexual relationship than if she was with another man because he sees the man more as a threat and has sick ideas about a 3some if she cheats with another woman. On the hand, women would be more likely to forgive a man for having a relationship w/another woman. The study did not say why women would be more forgiving of an opposite sex relationship, but my thinking is it is because it would be a slap in the face to her womanhood. But according to the study, men seem to pump up their manhood with his wife cheating with another woman.

Anyway, as Chrisians, it is all wrong and sick in the eyes of God so none of this should be going on in Christian marriages.

 

[jasoncran]

Re: He'll forgive your cheatin' ways, as long as it's another girl Study: Men aren't

sigh, without getting to pornographic.

what i meant is these same men who will watch porn and love the the lesbian action in them or threesomes with a man and two women, while hating the idea of the opposite.
two men one woman.

that is a double standard.

swingers, i dont believe are much different in that.

 

[Chris]

Re: He'll forgive your cheatin' ways, as long as it's another girl Study: Men aren't

sigh, without getting to pornographic.

what i meant is these same men who will watch porn and love the the lesbian action in them or threesomes with a man and two women, while hating the idea of the opposite.
two men one woman.

that is a double standard.

swingers, i dont believe are much different in that.

The funny thing is in reality girls that love girls are usually butch and not so good looking, they look sorta masculine to us guys. lesbians to me is like yuk..I am a guy I am not on the menu with those. I think ill put them in the just friends basket. Lesbians are good for coffee and a chat to us guys. i cant think of them like that Yuk.

as for fidelity I am not jealous person If my wife shows affection to another person in socially acceptable ways friendly (contact ) I view it as a thing that is good it is bringing the other person hapiness

I am not sure how i would react to infidelity. I suspect forgiveness would be very easy as long as openness and honesty were there.

 

[bibleMAN]

Re: He'll forgive your cheatin' ways, as long as it's another girl Study: Men aren't

I understand this, and I think for some males it has nothing to do with "desire for multiple sexual partners".. I think if a girl cheats with a girl it's less likely to be love, and more likely to be a stupid mistake.

If a girl you love cheats with another man.. they were seeking something they couldn't find in you, and that hurts. Its less likely to be a stupid mistake, and more likely to be them actually lacking in you, and seeking it in someone else instead of just God.

Just my opinion.