Hello and please help!!??

[michael00711]

My name is Michael and I live in South Africa, 90km south of Johannesburg and are married with two wonderfull children of 4 and 2.

I have one brother that is a minister and I have my own business, we were brought up in a Christian home and went to church every Sunday mostly with my mother. My father and his friends used to party and drink allot so on Sundays it was difficult to get out of bed.

Things got really bad at home during my high school years with my parents relationship starting to go pearshape and I started rebelling at the age of 15, drinking and smoking with older friends and later on drugs came into the picture aswell.

In 2000 I realised that my father was having an affair and I decided to go to England where I sort of lost my way completely. I met my wife in England and because my relationship with God was non existant religion never even came up untill six months before our wedding. She told me that she was a atheist although she was brought up in a christian home. I was shocked to my core and struggled with the idea but I loved her and I new that God crossed our paths for a reason. We discussed having childern and she agreed learn our kids the christian way. It has however become a big problem in my mind over the past few years as I got older, I want to change my life and become the christian I want to be and grow my relationship with God but to change is difficult as I dont want to push her away in the process.

Nobody in my family knows what she believes as everybody assumes that I would marry a christian girl. Please help, I want my relationship with God and with my wife to last forever and not be the way it is now??!!!

 

[Dusty Hockett]

I'm the wife of a husband who used to be a "super Christian" but the passed few years he has lost a lot of his trust in God & he has been struggling to handle life by his own power instead of what he used to do--- pray, praise and be patient. I'm not meaning to start a pity party here I think I have a point...

Two months ago his mother passed away- he sat at her bedside for a week and watched her slowly go. He was so faith filled during that time I thought I got my super Christian husband back. But the enemy noticed too and he began his attack on my family quickly. I suspect that I have been used by him (the enemy) to seriously attack my husband & my husband has been tricked into allowing him (the enemy) to use me because--- Satan knew my husbands weakness--- me. Well technically any woman he valued/loved and he feared losing. I'm suspecting that the bible is believable when it tells us that the husband is the head of the family and then illustrates for us the connection of Jesus as the head of the husband and then God in heaven the head of Jesus. If the husband is the head then that's were the enemy strikes. And he uses whatever will work. That's the trick---
God knows where you need growth in your faith...
You might not see it as clearly as you need to.
Satan knows where your weakness' are...
God knows Satan can't hurt your eternal soul.
God wants you to have abundant life on earth, but He is more concerned with growing your faith.
Out of His love & mercy & grace God tells YOU how to stop Satan...
"Submit yourself to God, resist Satan and he will flee",
You think you do that but then your wife?
Your wife who is supposed to love & respect you?
Your wife who promised herself to you, to be your partner?
The person you trust with your secret self --- with your kids?
You start to doubt your own judgment, Gods care for you, your salvation or relationship with Jesus.
You start to fear, slowly but strongly you grow weak and you stop resisting.
Such betrayal, such disregard for you, such pain--- who could resist reacting to that?
Anyone would get angry, any man for sure right?
Well ask yourself WHAT WOULD JESUS DO?
He would resist the the enemy and trust God--- he would stay in the desert for 40 days and resist every accusation and temptation to save himself from the discomfort the enemy is causing him...
A husband is called to love his wife and be long suffering--- knowing she is the weaker sex....
But more importantly a Christian is called to trust God no matter how bad it hurts.
Your marriage is a promise to trust God that He will provide whatever you need thru your wife and you committed to her knowing she alone couldn't fulfill all your needs but with God you would have no reason to continue searching for the perfect mate, but instead you would have faith in God and connect yourself to your wife unconditionally for life. So that you could resist the temptations of fornication (one of the most tempting & destructive tricks of satan) and the distractions of dating and be fruitful & multiply if God willing.
You and your wife became one...
If she is not a believer God may use you to save her (there is scripture that covers that but I'm not sure where, it's probably easy to find on a bible search web site if you search for unbelieving wife or marriage or actually divorce might bring it up too) and as I was saying before her dis-belief might just be a trick of Satan that she couldn't control because when she married you she submitted her power & control to you in every spiritual way at least. Fear not, forgive her (clear any debt/let her not owe anything for what she has done), do the same for yourself since Jesus told you already that he erased all your debt thru his sacrifice), and fight the powers of darkness like never before! Submit yourself to God, resist, resist and resist Satan until he flees. No weapon formed against you shall prosper- Satan could be using her as a weapon and now is your time to claim the promise. She is the weaker one, resist blaming her because then your found in unforgiveness and if you don't know the dangers of unforgiveness you should look that up ASAP. Basically if you blame others then God will blame you for all the things you have done.... In scripture it says if you forgive not anyone (or something like that) who has trespassed against you then God will not (or maybe it says CAN NOT) forgive you. I hope this is helpful and not just crazy sounding... It's helped me put into words what I've been trying so hard to explain to my husband without success this passed week--- so thank you--- thank God and be blessed.

 

[Navigator]

This is a tricky subject. I personally have not thought of marriage myself, or if I have, it has been BRIEF. I'm sure a married person here could give you better advice, but I think IF God put you and your wife together, His only real goal would be for you to bring her back to Him, and maybe bringing yourself back to Him in the process. If this scares your wife away from you, then you have likely misinterpreted your feelings for her, or God's motives for crossing your path with hers. You have to find yourself before you can ever hope to help others, so I would say, your #1 priority is to get right in your faith. Your wife will not or should not be opposed to this, because you should be allowed to do as you wish. From there, God will show you the way.


Good luck and God Bless!

 

[jesus4life]

MY BROTHER and all here ( first may we all pray for our brother's current situation to change in the favor of what GOD wants!!!:amen!!)

MY BROTHER!! PRAISE JESUS IN ALL THINGS!! You are doing great to still be hanging in there. That's the CHRISTIAN WAY!!

After the sin of Adam and Eve, GOD has made HIS law that we will have to labor to succeed and understand anything. So, labor in work, relationships ( marriage, friendships, strangers), school, health, etc....We can never break this universal law GOD made on man. It's our human sinful nature that constantly reacts with this law!! LOL!!!!

Here are some passages for your marriage situation, possibly family judgement situation, and GOD's labor law:

LABOR LAW:
GENESIS 3:16-19

16 To the woman he said,
“I will make your pains in childbearing very severe;
with painful labor you will give birth to children.
Your desire will be for your husband,
and he will rule over you.â€
17 To Adam he said, “Because you listened to your wife and ate fruit from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘You must not eat from it,’ “Cursed is the ground because of you;
through painful toil you will eat food from it
all the days of your life.
18 It will produce thorns and thistles for you,
and you will eat the plants of the field.
19 By the sweat of your brow
you will eat your food
until you return to the ground,
since from it you were taken;
for dust you are
and to dust you will return.â€

Family issues. We are accountable for what we do. Growing up in Christian family, I am not sure if you read the full WORD, but you knew the 10 Commandments. It's great GOD doesnt kill us on the spot like in the OT, but we still pay for what we have done and what it did to others. GOD lets us feel what we did to peoples's hearts. So many do wrong things, and think, " Ok, I am ready to get that done back to me!!". But, they error because GOD is a spirit. HE doesnt pay us back by our actions to others. HE pays us back by what our actions ( sins) did to someone/s heart. When a believer can understand this, then, when problems come, they will gladly welcome them realizing they are not worthy and should be dead, and just continue to praise HIS HOLY NAME through all things:

Sin originally is death:
EZEKIAL 18:4
4 For everyone belongs to me, the parent as well as the child—both alike belong to me. The one who sins is the one who will die.

Concerning your father's past sins, etc...
MATTHEW 18:15-17
15 “If your brother or sister[b] sins,[c] go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. 16 But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ 17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

MATTHEW 7:1-6
1 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. 6 “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.

1 CORINTHIANS 1:27-31:
27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28 God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, 29 so that no one may boast before him. 30 It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31 Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.â€

Sins we do even when we know we shouldnt but we feel pressure is too much:
ROMANS 2:12-16
12 All who sin apart from the law will also perish apart from the law, and all who sin under the law will be judged by the law. 13 For it is not those who hear the law who are righteous in God’s sight, but it is those who obey the law who will be declared righteous. 14 (Indeed, when Gentiles, who do not have the law, do by nature things required by the law, they are a law for themselves, even though they do not have the law. 15 They show that the requirements of the law are written on their hearts, their consciences also bearing witness, and their thoughts sometimes accusing them and at other times even defending them.) 16 This will take place on the day when God judges people’s secrets through Jesus Christ, as my gospel declares.


Marriage to a non-believer:

ROMANS 7:1-3
1 Do you not know, brothers and sisters—for I am speaking to those who know the law—that the law has authority over someone only as long as that person lives? 2 For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law that binds her to him. 3 So then, if she has sexual relations with another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress if she marries another man.

connect with:

1 CORINTHIANS 7:10-16
10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

connect with:

1 CORINTHIANS 7:39-40
39 A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. 40 In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is—and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.


STAY READ!!!! STAY FED!! PRAY:nod!!! WORK ALWAYS IN HIS HOLY NAME!! BELIEVE and YOU SHALL RECEIVE!!

jesus4life

 

[Queequeg's Travels]

I will pray for you, but my advice should be taken at face value. You have two sacred promises here that you must try and keep. One to deny yourself and follow Christ, the other to honor the bond of marriege. Sometimes its our circumstance that carve a deeper faith in us. Stay faithful to your vow to your wife, because I think your family, your marriege and you ralationship with Christ will grow more true and personal. Our relevence and happiness depends on a purpose to be accountable to. You have a lot of purpose. GOD BLESS

 

[turnorburn]

Marriage Takes Three

Marriage Takes Three

"Marriage takes three to be complete;
It's not enough for two to meet.
They must be united in love
by love's Creator, God above.

A marriage that follows God's Plan
takes more than a woman and a man.
It needs a oneness that can be
only from Christ. Marriage takes three."

Beth Stuckwisch

 

[Queequeg's Travels]

PS. My earlier text was in reference to your post, just incase it might be missinterpreted!!!!
YOUR NOT ASKING IF YOU SHOULD LEAVE YOUR WIFE RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!
AS you know from experience, as a father you are the name of God impressed upon the ideas of your children. In your relationship with your wife you too have inhereted the image of Christ.. What could be more relevent? What else could you expect to become in your faith? And nice poem turnorburn, how's is that even applicable here.

 

[Davies]

Hi Michael,

My first thoughts on the subject of the difficulty you and your wife are experiencing are of understanding. It's not strange that marriage can be very difficult and painful. You obviously married the right women because nothing happens to you that doesn't come before God first (see Job's circumstances). Tribulations should be welcomed by you because it is through difficulties you learn to persevere, then you grow in charactor, then finally the hope of God's glory grows. I think your focus should be on growing in God's grace, then you will be able to love your wife as Jesus Christ loved the Church. God gave Himself for you. This should help you to learn to give yourself for your wife. I am still trying to learn this for myself, but I know it's the way to go. The more you can be loving to your wife, the less your wife can resist, and both of you will be sanctified. Remember, even if you fail, God can be trusted. If Jesus loved you by dieing on the cross so many years ago, you know he doesn't love you less today.
- Davies