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Hitting and other things that adults are encouraged to do

Maybe it is a long shot, but if you showed your father this thread, it may open some communication.

You mention having a bad habit you use to escape. Escape is so common, I would imagine what you do is also fairly common. One of the things I hve noticed in life that is it really hard to do something unique. People do a lot of things, and some are just more revealed than others.

I remember my youth and dealing with my parents. I went through a lot of fighting. I eventually got to a point where I became emotionally distant to them. We still see each other and I still love them. But at the same time, there is a closeness that will never be regained.

I hope for the best for you.

Quath
 
I got her reply to my entry today. The two of us have a different relationship than she does with my other teammates. We haven't really been able to discuss stuff outloud, but a lot has been said through writing. Her response was very helpful. Somehow I have to be able to rise above my circumstances and see God in the situation. Nothing is an accident. God put me with my parents for a reason. I have to be able to love unconditonally like Jesus did. I keep asking the question, "How?" How can I get beyond the way he treats me and love him anyway? I struggle with this so much. I seem to be able to do it with everyone else. I think I should make this my primary goal for the year.
 
Just wondering if you ever had chance to talk to your dad. I think about you almost every day. I just hope that the 2 of you can become closer. Once you start to drift away from someone, it is hard to get close again. I remember when my husband and I seperated years ago, it was so awkward to even be around him when we got back together. But love islike a flower and it can either bloom or die. YOU are the one that needs to decide how you're going to tend that flower.
 
This forum makes me angry..


What is quath doing on this forum, he's an atheist, they aren't tolerated, I've contacted a moderator.



For the author of this topic, you sound like a rebellious minor who is angry because she can't get her way, you need a GOOD LONG behind beating and months of punishment, I thank God for the people who took care of me spanking me, I would of been on dead row without it...


People, please don't sugarcoat this, this is obviously a sheltered child who thinks this is reality, be rough at the edges, she will thank you 15 years later!!!! :yes


(Train a child up in the way he/she shall go, and even when he is old, he will not depart from it) Proverbs 22:16
 
The bible encourages the use of a rod. Using an open hand is not as good in my view. Hands are used to caress. The rod is for discipline.

We have Mr. spoon. It's a big wooden spoon that strikes terror into little rebellious hearts. A few administrations....and voila...model children! We have 8 by the way. (children, not spoons) :lol
 
Wow lot of judgment in this thread. I can say I don't necessarily disagree with spanking. But I will say this. Spanking your child while your mad is dangerous. Both to your ability to govern the degree of it, and to the perception of the child. Why? Because spanking child while angry can easily lead to you going to far. And a child seeing a father spank him while he is so angry can be seen by the child as abuse. Never hit a child out of anger, that is not discipline.

The bible does say spare the rod spoil the child, but it also says don't drive your children to wrath and how many parents actually have taken that to heart in those moments. I would say once a child has reached an age of reasoning ability, that other punishments are far more effective then spanking.

With spanking there is a line you can cross. Most parents who practice this haven't even taken the time to set firm ground rules with their mates as what defines abuse and what defines corrective action/discipline. Discipline when practiced correctly will produce godly fruit within your child, when practiced incorrectly it will produce a wrathful child who is problematic.

My father abused me, I was punched, thrown against walls, and many other things. To this day he doesn't see it as abuse. There is a line you can cross, an adult punching a 8 year old isn't punishment. Define it for yourself as an adult. But always remember your the one who's going to have to answer for your actions when you come before God. Your child is a gift, you've been entrusted with one of God's most precious and prized possessions, mistreat them if you dare.
 
MODERATOR COMMENT;


Just a reminder to be careful to talk about your opinions and thoughts etc in a respectful way.

It is possible to discuss things and have differing opinions without being harsh.

********************************************************************************************************************

Now this is just me being me :)...

An interesting question though... why are some things absolute no-no's when we are kids and then when we are adults they are ok?
I don't think this is just about spanking, i think it is an interesting question much bigger than just that one issue,

Personally i know what i think, but i need some time to phrase it properly, i will post again when i have more time :)
 
This thread is pretty old.

Quath hasn't been in here in a while, but atheists are allowed to post in this area...at least they were back then.

As far as the topic, discipline is loving. Sometimes pain is a good thing to help us. The dentist causes pain, the doctor causes pain, cleaning a wound is painful, when we do something wrong our conscience is in 'pain', etc. The point is, sometimes it's needed, and it's good for us when appropriate and applied correctly. The Bible tells us to not chatise the chastening of the Lord...it means we are His sons and daughters, and He is going to keep us on the narrow Way.

Abuse of any type has nothing to do with discipline, and immorality is wrong for everyone of every age.

The Lord bless.
 
Amielou said:
An interesting question though... why are some things absolute no-no's when we are kids and then when we are adults they are ok?
I don't think this is just about spanking, i think it is an interesting question much bigger than just that one issue,

Personally i know what i think, but i need some time to phrase it properly, i will post again when i have more time :)[/color]
Click to expand...

Stumbled across this when I was "catching-up" with the site.

There are all sorts of things that are absolute no-no's when we are kids and then when we're adults they are OK. Driving; drinking (hopefully no drinking and driving!); marriage; sex; those cute commercials notwithstanding, trading on the stock market; signing contracts; running for office; gee, even having kids. The list goes on and on. I believe the key is that when we are adults, then we are ready to take on the responsibility these actions require. (Whether or not the adult does act responsibly is a different story.)

An important part of any parent's responsibility is the proper discipline of their child. If a parent doesn't feel comfortable with spanking, due to a fear of a lack of self-control or a history of past abuse, then other avenues of age-appropriate discipline must be sought out. I don't think that Proverbs necessarily means that we must hit our children with rods, just that firm, consistant discipline is necessary to the well being of all children and is a responsibility of all parents. That said, if a parent has deemed that their child is more than deserving of a good smack with Mr. Spoon, and has the self control to administer the discipline with love and not become abusive, then by all means, they have the God-given exhortation to do so. There is a world of difference between corporal punishment as a means of discipline and physical abuse.

However, if a parent comes from a back-ground of abuse, or knows that one has self-control or anger issues, then it's best to seek out a different avenue of discipline. No matter the form of discipline, whether Mr. Spoon or the Nose-In-the-Corner, it needs to be done consistantly and in love.
 
handy said:
Amielou said:
An interesting question though... why are some things absolute no-no's when we are kids and then when we are adults they are ok?
I don't think this is just about spanking, i think it is an interesting question much bigger than just that one issue,

Personally i know what i think, but i need some time to phrase it properly, i will post again when i have more time :)[/color]
Click to expand...

Stumbled across this when I was "catching-up" with the site.

There are all sorts of things that are absolute no-no's when we are kids and then when we're adults they are OK. Driving; drinking (hopefully no drinking and driving!); marriage; sex; those cute commercials notwithstanding, trading on the stock market; signing contracts; running for office; gee, even having kids. The list goes on and on. I believe the key is that when we are adults, then we are ready to take on the responsibility these actions require. (Whether or not the adult does act responsibly is a different story.)

An important part of any parent's responsibility is the proper discipline of their child. If a parent doesn't feel comfortable with spanking, due to a fear of a lack of self-control or a history of past abuse, then other avenues of age-appropriate discipline must be sought out. I don't think that Proverbs necessarily means that we must hit our children with rods, just that firm, consistant discipline is necessary to the well being of all children and is a responsibility of all parents. That said, if a parent has deemed that their child is more than deserving of a good smack with Mr. Spoon, and has the self control to administer the discipline with love and not become abusive, then by all means, they have the God-given exhortation to do so. There is a world of difference between corporal punishment as a means of discipline and physical abuse.

However, if a parent comes from a back-ground of abuse, or knows that one has self-control or anger issues, then it's best to seek out a different avenue of discipline. No matter the form of discipline, whether Mr. Spoon or the Nose-In-the-Corner, it needs to be done consistantly and in love.
Click to expand...


very well written handy... and well put i might say. i was about to write my opinion in the subject but it would be a waste of space lol, as you have so concisely written almost exactly what i would have :) i have terrible memories of being hit (too hard IMO) as a child, and as a result i will never raise a hand (or anything else) to my own child. but i am in no way going to let my kids off scott free when they do the wrong thing... there are consequences for bad behavior... our kids will know what these consequences are and that if they choose a bad behavior they choose also the consequences that do with it. and i don't think that a parent who taps their child on the bottom ever now and again as a last resort ahas done anything wrong... as long as they are not beating their children.
 
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