Dr. Kevin Leman and the 'Home Court Advantage'
Dr. Leman calls Home Court Advantage an anti-cultural book, because it goes against the grain of society's performance/achievement way of bringing up children. He believes children should spend less time at "kiddie kennels", or daycare, and more time being raised at home with their families. He gives the example of sweet corn. Though sweet corn looks like regular corn, it is home grown and has a better, distinctive fresher taste and is usually better than regular corn. He says children can be the same way. They may look well-mannered and polite on the outside and play by the rules, but "lack the inner core of their own convictions." The key is what's inside, growing kids from the inside out – the home court advantage or "home grown" children. Dr. Leman says parents investing time into their children's lives and the family should be their priority.
Dr. Leman especially wants to stress what kind of home environment and attitudes parents should have towards child rearing. These are a few key points Dr. Leman points out:
- He says parents should not out source their children ---the home should not be like a hotel where children get room service, whatever they want, are catered to, etc. Children are given material things instead of what they need emotionally, in character development, discipline. Today's society is very "thing" oriented. Instead of giving material things, parents should give of themselves and invest their time into their children.
[/*:m:9bb37] - Also, parents need to make children feel like they belong to a family; kids should identify with home, if they identify with home they are less likely to get caught up in bad behavior.
[/*:m:9bb37] - Parents need to give "Vitamin N" to their children, in other words, tell them no. Children need and want boundaries and proper discipline. Proper discipline is key, especially reality discipline, which is an action oriented way to hold children accountable for their actions, an no nonsense approach. Reality discipline lets the reality of situations and the consequences be the teacher. There are no warnings in reality discipline. This form of discipline works at any age, even adult. There needs to be a healthy authority over kids. It makes a difference and parents need to put the time into their children. Children do pay attention to this. A parent's actions, not words are the key. Children learn by example.
[/*:m:9bb37] - Parents shouldn't drag children to day care or work all the time, parents should find out about their children and their lives.
[/*:m:9bb37] - Parents need to get kids out of the activity trap, parents shouldn't push their kids – they should treat them as unique individuals.
[/*:m:9bb37] - Parents should believe in their children.
[/*:m:9bb37] - For parents who don't have the luxury of staying home or that must use child care, like single parents, Dr. Leman suggests using a family day care or child care co-op instead of institutional day care. These options will provide more family interaction with people who already love and know the child. Dr. Leman knows that it may be difficult, but overall he says the goal is for the parent to spend as much time with their children as possible and for the parent to do the best he/ she can with what he/she has. Parents will have difficulty if they choose to make work priority over relationship with their children. Children will appreciate the sacrifice parents make in the long run.
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Dr Lehmans' web site: http://www.drleman.com/books-parenting/home-court-advantage.php#loadIEAnchor
article source:http://www.cbn.com/700club/Guests/Bios/Kevin_Leman061605.asp?option=print
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