The book Devine Revelations of Hell by Mary Baxter was given to me by a christian, and it's about this women who the Lord took in the spirit to Hell so she would write about it so people knew hell did exist, but more than anything that Christ our Lord existed too for the unbelievers, though there were some things HE would not allow her to view due to them being horrific to the soul. It took her I believe about 3 years to recover from the experience physically, mentally, and emotionally before she could write the book. Though I didn't complete the book, I got about half way and I read something so profound that it literally made me get out of my bed and immeditately down on my knees. I was reading it, and kind of got a chuckle and said to myself "this book is like some horror movie I've watch" and was about to just throw it down in one sense and at another say well it's just another horror book so whats the difference. And as I turned the page to continue reading almost word for word I had just spoken was being acknowledged on the next page. For some reason I broke out in the shakes and got real scared, scared about dieing and going to hell, scared enough that I got up and down on my knees saying: Lord I don't want to go to hell, but I don't know what to do, will YOU help me Jesus? And I began to cry so uncontollably, shaking, fearful, crying Jesus please help me, save me from hell. Then this peace came over me and calmed me. From that point on there was something different, I felt like the Lord had this huge rope with the knot tied to the end of it and handed it to me to hang on, and the next two weeks I felt like I was hanging on to this rope and I was tossed into this rough sea in a storm and desparately with all my might hanging on for dear life.
The next weekend when I got home the Lord led me to this church that I still attend and due to my background I was not familar in what to do, but for some reason the Lord led me down to the altars on my knees, and I remember crying my heart out, and this little woman coming up and getting down on her knees and placing her hands on mine, and I found it so odd that it about made me pass out when she did. But it seem to intensify what I was already experiencing which at times was unbearable, and the storm got worse while hanging on to that rope. The next weekend when my husband was releast from the hospital and I knew he wasn't ready and I fled to my friends house that I've always had a key and a bedroom at their house for quiet times to think. We had a double wedding together, and they're lifetime friends, though that husband then and our son was killed by a drunk driver. And I go to their house use my key, peeped in through a slightly cracked door and everything seemed so different thinking they don't live here anymore, so I yelled out anyone home? And I heard Tammi said come on in girl, how have you been, and I mentioned how their home had changed and she said honey were Saved!!! And I told her everything that is going on and she said would you like to go to church with us and I mentioned that I would like that and that I had went to the church the previous weekend and I liked it but something was going on inside of me that I didn't quite understand. I remember hearing Tom and Tam that night praying and crying, and I thought I hope their Ok.
So I go the next day with Tommy and Tammi to church and of course I'm sitting way in the back so I can be the first one out the door. Pastor Livingston, was preaching and the whole time I'm thinking this man needs to shut his mouth cause he's scaring me to death. I "was" an alcoholic a fifth of liquor a day addiction, drug addict, in perversion, cussed, smoked, read tarot cards, palm reading, witchcraft though I didn't practice spells as such but witchcraft none the less, believed in reincarnation, quiji board user (stupid), believe that Jesus was an alien sent here to straighten us all out, materialistic, judgemental, violent, suicidal, knew it all (so I thought), molested by my real dad from the time I was 5 to 18 and haven't seen him since then and I'm now 55, etc. etc. and just plain rotten to the core of my being, and praise God forgiven and instantly delivered from with no withdrawl/cravings/desires in those 25-30 years of addictions through HIS forgiveness. HE had instantly cleansed me from all of it, everything! I felt so brand new, like a new baby being birth into the world.
( I have to take a break for a moment, I'm just overwhelmed with tears now from HIS love and forgiveness).
And as the pastor is preaching I'm thinking if I die now I'm going straight to hell. I was so scared, I kept thinking please someone shut this mans mouth he's scaring me. And the funny thing about it, a couple of months later I listened to the audio tape and for the life of me I couldn't grasp why I was so fearful because he was saying nothing as I remember him saying. But at the end of the sermon he had altar call for those who needed prayer and those he said feel that God is calling them forward to accept the salvation of Jesus. I felt like I was being pulled up out of the pew, and I placed my hand on Tammi to let me by and I said to her, that's me, that's me. As soon as I stepped out into the isle, it was like this river was running through me of all mercy, all grace, all love like no other I had ever felt and it had me in full tremble to the point that couldn't hardly stand, or walk. And this river running through me was so powerful, (you know like when your looking at a river and it's trashing over the rocks with such force that if you went to stick your foot in, it would just grab ahold of you and pulled you in by the power of it?) This is what was running through me. I walk to the front and got down on my knees and this man knelt biside me and asked Do you want to accept the Lord as your personal Savior? For some reason I wanted it more than anything in the world, so he walked me through the sinners prayer, thank you Jesus. And then he asked me do you accept the baptism of the Holy Spirit? Not knowing what it was but I knew I wanted it more than the next breath I took in and I said YES with such urgency, and then he asked me did I accept my prayer language, and to me that was now I lay me down to sleep, but I knew I wanted it more than the next heartbeat I'd have, and I said YES! And then he said speak your prayer language and I said I can't, and he said don't worry about it, it will come. And as soon as he stood up, this langauge started coming from my mouth, and this sense that I was like a brand new baby, clean like no clean I had ever felt, and this language coming out and Tom and Tam came up and I had to fight to speak english just to ask what is happening to me, and Tammi said you are baptised in the Holy Spirit, and again I had to fight to ask what was I saying, and she said this is not my gift to interpet, and the power of what was coming forth from me was nothing I ever felt, (satan's power doesn't hold a candle to Gods holy power), and this man was waving his hand to get our attention said I know what she's saying, she's speaking Hebrew, I know this language, I know I'm from the Holy Lands, I'm from Jordan. And at the awareness of that I instantly was down on my face literally just knowing that Jesus loved me so much to save me, accept me as I did HIM, and that HE loves this once wretched creature like me, and that HE had me speaking HIS language, a language I've never heard, or spoke, and I'm just sobbing on my face feeling like I was in this bubble of the most purest love, of mercy, grace, compassion, forgiveness, words don't do it justice in discribing this love like no other, there's just no earthly words that can discrible it, and I'm sobbing and this language lasted hours, knowing Feb. 9th at 9:58am 1997 I am HIS, and this is now my true birthday.
I couldn't keep my face off the floor even after we left church and I felt like a computer being downloaded with all this information I didn't understand. And the thing was the humbleness that I had just saturated me from inside to out in completeness, and all I could do is rock and cry and give in to the language. I went a couple of hours later back to the church I first went to, the Lord was leading there, so I knock on the door to the house next to the church not knowing for sure if this is where the pastor lived, sobbing and as he opened the door, he said praise God a new child of God, and invited me in. How he knew I don't know. He took me to the kitchen, and the whole time this language is still happening and as I walked into the kitchen there was that little lady who placed her hands on mine at the altar just smiling from ear to ear, crying halleluyah, thank you my Lord. Pastor Kemp placed his hand on my head and prayed Lord let me help her if it's your will that I do, and I almost passed out when he touched me, and the language stopped finally where I could talk english. So they sit me down at the table and he ask what are you experiencing? And I told him I felt like a computer being downloaded and these things are going through me head, and I don't understand what it means, and so he ask me what was my spirit hearing. I started telling him and he opened his bible and is flipping through the pages back and forth marking them with paper, and I was quoting scriptures word for word out of a bible I had never read. From that moment the Lord placed me in choir, prison ministry, youth leader, a van ministry where I went around picking up children whose parents didn't go to church, homeless ministry, you name it, HE has placed me with such a fire in my bones to spread the Truth of Christ and HIS Word. I have never been the same since Feburary 9th, 9:58am 1997 when my Lord snatched me up from the talons of satan with HIS beautiful love and forgiveness, and the awesome gift of salvation. And the funny thing the christian that gave me the book to read, that's her daddy's birthday.
(I may get this post done eventually, I can only cry with thank giving that we serve such an awesome God).
Since then I have led my step daddy and my mother to the Lord, my present husband, and step daughter, my friend that was in a homosexual relationship that cost him his physical life by his jitled partner because he chose Christ over him, my friend of 35 years, and her children, just by being who HE has made me and living the example of HIS love and guidence.
When I got home all I could see was port holes of the enemy in my house and I started pulling antique beer sign, light up beer signs, all the books, quiji board, alcohol, drugs, pipes for my drugs, books about spells, palm reading, my tarot cards, runes, and toys of monsters like pinhead off of hell raiser movies, throwing them out into the trash after I had taken a hammer to them. My husband was just in full fledge panic, saying honey what are you doing we can sell this if you don't want them, you're destroying hundreds of dollars this is our life, and I turned around and grabbed his hands and asked him, do you trust me? And he said yes I do baby. And I said trust me honey these are portholes for the enemy to come through into our home, and he continued to let me frantically throw the destroyed pieces into the trash. I can not sell these, or give them to another human being whether lost or save, their blood will not be on my hands or yours, I love them and us more than that. My home was completely changed within the week and started becoming that wife my husband should have had the whole time. A wife he saw in a complete new way and began treating me with a new profound respect and love that I hadn't seen before, and me too toward him. A love that led my husband to the Lord.
The Lord quietly removed every single person in my life that practice the same habits as me, without missing them or even desiring to see them, and replaced them with christian friends by the droves. But the thing that was amazing that when I would hear music at work and it was the old kind I listened to, I would hear different words other than what was being said, words from the Lord....HIS music. And I had people just coming to me out of no where for prayer everyday, and he provided me christian companionship everywhere I went blessing me and using me to bless others. And another wonderful things was that I had no withdrawls from the 25-30 years of addiction, but I could smell someone who had been drinking 30 feet from me before they would get to me and literally made me sick to my stomach and gave me the strength by my mere presence to lead them to the Lord no matter where I went, whether it was a gas station, hospitals, store, just everywhere I went, and gave me such a love and passion to lead as many as I could, whoever crossed my path to the salvation of Jesus. And this is who I have been in HIM ever since..........
Thank you my precious Savior for loving me. I will forever love YOU my Lord for you have always loved me.....Amen!
There's patients at my internship that are hospitalized right now, and it's hitting a lot of people pretty seriously.
You guys got me good! Ahhhhh I needed a good old fashion nose cleaning! 
