What's new
By:
Filters
Christian Forums

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

How do you make Friends as an Adult?

God's_gift

God's_gift

Member
Now why would I ask this question is because base on my observation I think kids and children are those who find it very easy to make friends you know and the grown up or or let’s say Adults are mostly not really good . So my question is as an Adult how do you make friends?


<O:p</O:pWell, I understand that some of us here are either introvert or extroverts type of person so let’s start with my self. You know what, before I define my self as a little introvert and homebuddy type of person who would rather watch movies on my portable than wait in the line at the cenimas. God has blessed my extrovert friends so they had to adjust a little for me and as I go with them I learned from them and they had helped me allot to get out from my comfort zone.


<O:p</O:pNow I have used the extrovert side of me in the church. How do I make friends as an adult I start in my boarding house, I make sure I know the names of my neighbors .<O:p</O:p
 
Being friendly with your neighbors is obviously a sensible and polite thing to do. That is being 'friendly' and not necessarily the route to deep friendships.

All(?) friendships start from mutual interests or activities. If you regularly commute in the same train car you will probably get to know the regular passengers. Conversations give you an insight into each other's lives and enable you to decide if you like each other or can't stand someone. Again, you are simply being friendly but the enforced and extended contact can give you a real insight to your fellow travelers and mutual interests may lead to other meetings (Use the train journey as a metaphor of course).

In the absence of a shared activity where you meet people naturally, the obvious alternative is to deliberately share an activity. An activity with an extended learning period is a good choice because it gives you a double connection with the other students over a long period of time.

Thinking back over the years, the places I have made most friends as an adult are:
Judo
Gliding
Sailing club
Bridge lessons
French lessons
Off-road motor-cycling

This is both when I have been a student or when I have taught adults. Conversely, some of my activities, Croquet and gun club for example, require such little training and have such limited 'chatting' time that friends are slow to appear. ANY shared activity can work though.

Although you need little training to ride a motor cycle, I have added it to my list because there is something very bonding between motor-cyclists. I have no idea why; there just is. My closest friends have been bikers. There may well be a Christian bikers club in your area. Best of luck.
 
Soccer is a smart way....:thumbsup

Example.
:) Hi!
:D Hello.
:) I'm Lizard.
:D Hi, Lizard. I'm rabbit. Is that Sports Magazine you are holding
:) Yeah. It is.

She hands it over to him.
:D Thanks.
A nod
:D Lionel Messi again. All about him!!!!
:) Yeah. He is exceptionally good. 5 goals in a single UEFA match.


-----
:D I'm a Barcelona fan.
:) My goodness! I will give you a call.

They exchanged contacts and walked away.
The next day:

:D Hello. Your friend calling.
:) You on the wire? Interesting.
:D Can we have a fun in La Masia today.
:) Good idea! Come over now.

-----
6 Months after:

Mark 10:9

3 Years after:
Psalms 128:3

25 Years after:
Grannie.....
 
Soccer will give you friends. But being a Barcelona player or fan, you have a lot of challenges: some jerks and friends are there for you. FCB has given me alot of male and female friends.:)

So beigin with soccer, Gift, not American Football;) Hope Mike isn't reading this.
 
God's_gift said:
Now why would I ask this question is because base on my observation I think kids and children are those who find it very easy to make friends you know and the grown up or or let’s say Adults are mostly not really good . So my question is as an Adult how do you make friends?
Click to expand...

Be rich:
(Prov 14:20) The poor [man] is hated even by his own neighbor, But the rich [has] many friends.
(Prov 19:4) Wealth makes many friends, But the poor is separated from his friend.
(Prov 19:6) Many entreat the favor of the nobility, And every man [is] a friend to one who gives gifts.
There is no way you will have a friend if you are poor.

Choose carefully: Not an angry person
(Prov 12:26) The righteous should choose his friends carefully, For the way of the wicked leads them astray.
(Prov 22:24) Make no friendship with an angry man, And with a furious man do not go,
After becoming rich, and a pool of friends around you, choose carefully.

Don't trust too much:
(Prov 17:18) A man devoid of understanding shakes hands in a pledge, [And] becomes surety for his friend.

Try to maintain by being friendly yourself: You will find your true friend who sticks closer than a brother
(Prov 18:24) A man [who has] friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend [who] sticks closer than a brother.

What if I am poor?
(Prov 22:11) He who loves purity of heart [And has] grace on his lips, The king [will be] his friend.
You have a choice of becoming friend with our king, Jesus Christ.
 
Years ago a friend ( old enough to be father) said something to me that made me stop and think. He gave my name to someone based on a business deal that might happen. he told me about it days later. Then he said "yea, we used to call it friendship, but now we call it networking". the power of what he said hit me, not right away, but later. I think part of our problem in making friends is the way we live these days, coupled with the we talk. we have put a certain amount technology in how talk to each other. I am not talking about phones, computers and such, but the way we respond to each other. making friends means you have to open up. we can talk to people for years, and in that not open up even once. so how do we make friends? the question holds part of the answer. trust like kids. any way- that is my thought.
 
JennyThatcher123 said:
Years ago a friend ( old enough to be father) said something to me that made me stop and think. He gave my name to someone based on a business deal that might happen. he told me about it days later. Then he said "yea, we used to call it friendship, but now we call it networking". the power of what he said hit me, not right away, but later. I think part of our problem in making friends is the way we live these days, coupled with the we talk. we have put a certain amount technology in how talk to each other. I am not talking about phones, computers and such, but the way we respond to each other. making friends means you have to open up.
Click to expand...

Networking is different from friendship.

Networking is just a contact or a link. It could be a business networking, professional networking or social networking.

Friendship is very different. If you consider Networking as Friendship, then it means, you don't have real friends.
Let me explain: A networking is always for a mutual benefit and not personal. You don't share your sorrows or financial needs to your network. If you desperately require 1000$ for a bill and unable to pay, will you post that to your facebook or twitter for someone to help? Try that, and next time when you login, you might have lost most of your "so called friends".

But friendship is more personal. You feel more comfortable discussing your personal needs like financial, and other issues where your friend can help you with a good heart and you will be confident that going to your friend will never be a disappointment.

I don't know you: what age, sex, which country etc. All I know is you are a Christian (from your profile) - even that is not verifiable. But I still do networking with you by posting this message to you and you reading my post and able to respond. Does this mean you are my friend? Definitely not.

JennyThatcher123 said:
we can talk to people for years, and in that not open up even once. so how do we make friends? the question holds part of the answer. trust like kids. any way- that is my thought.
Click to expand...

I think this is a bad idea.

You must share everything with your spouse not a friend. I believe your spouse should be your friend first. A successful marriage is all about adjusting ourselves and this is same for friends as well.
 
It's hard to make close friends in my experience unless you have common interests. Currently my best friends have mostly stemmed from playing basketball together. At the beginning I asked them if they wanted to play and we went together. Over time we kept playing together and gradually coming closer together. Now sometimes we do other things besides basketball. Our friendships have morphed.

So I keep my eye open for "targets," people that look like they have some similarities with me. Then I invite them to a meal or to a sport and see how it develops. A few years ago I didn't have many friends, but slowly my circle of friends is expanding.
 
@ Felix - it would seem I did not do a good job getting my thought out. that was a good friend I was talking about and he has even lent me money if that makes your standard. it was a statement that had me think. and really, While you broke it down in a different way then I meant you kinda helped my point.

Also not real sure where the spouse thing came up. what I meant there is

to Trust like kids. as in kids tend to trust easy. not like I was talking about my kids.

The OP was how to make friends. it is the starting point. where it goes from there has many variables. not sure if that helps. anyway have a blessed day.
 
What about NOT knowing each other according to the flesh? Shared spiritual experiences...shared vision?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top