How do you tell parents you’ve been hiding a Pornography Addiction?

[TheMusicMa’am]

Side note: sorry I’m new to this, I just logged into this site while looking for advice on this.

So as the question states, I’m currently addicted to (specifically fanmade) pornography. It started when I was around 16 when I accidentally came across some of it. I was screening through YouTube reading fan comics about a tv show I liked at the time. I was stunned, shocked, and had a ton of strong feelings I never felt before. Most of it was implied but sometimes it went detailed. It exhilarated me yet horrified me at the same time. It was pretty on and off: I would get stuck in watching/reading fan pornography for a good month or so and then I would get away from it for a few of months(?) and then fall right back into it. My mother caught me once but due to a disability of mine she only told me not to do it again. I stayed away for longer but then fell back into it. It wasn’t a full blown addiction until I started college and got more “freedom” and personal time. During the in between times when I would stay with my family, sometimes I would struggle but not too much. This year though, I went over the edge with it. Instead of studying or taking care of myself I would spend nearly hours just reading pornography.
I’m pretty good at covering my tracks too so no one could possibly find it, deleting all evidence.
I am seeing what it’s turning me into and how its desensitizing me to a lot of things and introducing unacceptable practices into my mind. My problem is while I want to let it go, part of me doesn’t because of the thrill it gives me. I can see how it’s hurting my life, faith, school, relationships, and personal views. My therapists both have urged me to confess to my parents so I can get their help. My dad even went through this and knows how to help.

My fear is that if I tell them, they will be disappointed in me seeing how far I’ve fallen. I also am scared to tell them because when they help me with my struggles, sometimes they get frustrated with my lack of progress. It’s not their fault and I know I need to be patient with myself but sometimes I don’t put in the work to fix things I’m dealing with (cause I’m either too scared or confused to do so) and they get frustrated with me about it. I’m nervous about telling my parents because I’m scared of disappointing them and frustrating them with my difficult behavior. I’m waiting for the right time to tell them this struggle but IDK when or how to tell them that this is what I’m dealing with?

Any seasoned mothers or young adult daughters got any advice?

 

[Who Me]

It is always humbling and painful to own up to failures.

In this incident you will have to accept the interference of adult controls over your Internet access.
Most anti virus systems will allow an adult to block certain programmes, Web sites or types of content.

By confessing your failure and asking them for help with a block over the Internet you will be showing you are a mature adult.

Don 't forget this afu,t supervision has to cover All your devices.

 

[D-D-W]

It is always humbling and painful to own up to failures.

Agreed

In this incident you will have to accept the interference of adult controls over your Internet access.
Most anti virus systems will allow an adult to block certain programmes, Web sites or types of content.
By confessing your failure and asking them for help with a block over the Internet you will be showing you are a mature adult.
Don 't forget this afu,t supervision has to cover All your devices.

"All devices" becomes problematic when one is away at college.

 

[D-D-W]

So as the question states, I’m currently addicted to (specifically fanmade) pornography. It started when I was around 16 when I accidentally came across some of it. I was screening through YouTube reading fan comics about a tv show I liked at the time. I was stunned, shocked, and had a ton of strong feelings I never felt before. Most of it was implied but sometimes it went detailed. It exhilarated me yet horrified me at the same time.

That sounds rather typical. You are not alone. Far from it. The Hartford health care site** cites a recent study that 90% of teens have viewed porn, and at least 10% admit to viewing it daily. From that website:
"Research demonstrates that parents are, for the most part, unaware of their children’s porn usage, with half of parents unaware their teens had seen pornography and teens having seen up to 10 times more pornography than their parents believe. Parents especially underestimated their teen’s exposure to extreme content, such as violent porn, which is just as easy to access as traditional pornography content."

It was pretty on and off: I would get stuck in watching/reading fan pornography for a good month or so and then I would get away from it for a few of months(?) and then fall right back into it. My mother caught me once but due to a disability of mine she only told me not to do it again. I stayed away for longer but then fell back into it. It wasn’t a full blown addiction until I started college and got more “freedom” and personal time. During the in between times when I would stay with my family, sometimes I would struggle but not too much. This year though, I went over the edge with it. Instead of studying or taking care of myself I would spend nearly hours just reading pornography.

Yeah - it grows. A little today will require a LOT a few months from now to get the same amount of arousal and intensity of release. It de-sensitizes the viewer to the imagery; and leaves the viewer increasingly open to risky sexual behavior in real life. Apparently you have noticed this within yourself already:

I am seeing what it’s turning me into and how its desensitizing me to a lot of things and introducing unacceptable practices into my mind. My problem is while I want to let it go, part of me doesn’t because of the thrill it gives me.

But it will take more and more to give you the same thrill. And of course sexual activity and release (orgasm) IS thrilling because God designed it that way. But this was not the way He intended it to be accessed.

I can see how it’s hurting my life, faith, school, relationships, and personal views. My therapists both have urged me to confess to my parents so I can get their help. My dad even went through this and knows how to help.

That same website (and it is secular) says that talking to parents is the best way to keep a lid on it:
"
“However, the studies also show that parental discussion with their teens about porn and safe sex greatly mitigates these risks,” said Dr. Weigle. Dr. Weigle suggests:

• Keeping screens in public areas of the home where they can be easily monitored.
• Using parental controls to filter websites that are visited.
• Setting rules for screen usage such as no screens in bathrooms, bedrooms or behind closed doors."

They are a secular site and do not see the moral and ungodly implications porn use. But they do see the problems that are more obvious.

My fear is that if I tell them, they will be disappointed in me seeing how far I’ve fallen. I also am scared to tell them because when they help me with my struggles, sometimes they get frustrated with my lack of progress. It’s not their fault and I know I need to be patient with myself but sometimes I don’t put in the work to fix things I’m dealing with (cause I’m either too scared or confused to do so) and they get frustrated with me about it. I’m nervous about telling my parents because I’m scared of disappointing them and frustrating them with my difficult behavior. I’m waiting for the right time to tell them this struggle but IDK when or how to tell them that this is what I’m dealing with?

Confessing sin to a person is always a problem, for the exact reasons you list. But we are told to humble ourselves, throwing ourselves on God's mercy. James tells us to confess sins to one another and pray for each other to be healed.
A young lady posted on another website concerning masturbation. She is a young teen and does the deed at least daily. Her church had a seminar dealing with the topic for the youth group but ONLY addressed it in the guys with no mention of girls doing it whatsoever. and she was very frustrated by that. I can only pray for her and you to find the help and hope you need.

** https://hartfordhealthcare.org/about-us/news-press/news-detail?articleId=29384&publicid=469

 

[Who Me]

Agreed

"All devices" becomes problematic when one is away at college.

Still need to get a block on porn on what ever devices one uses.

 

[for_his_glory]

Hi TheMusicMa’am and welcome to CF

You have taken the first step in admitting you have a problem and now you need a solution in how to abstain from pornography. Since your dad had a problem with it at one time maybe he can help you by telling you how he overcame his addiction. If your parents love you then they also need to be there for you and don't be scared to reach out to them for help. The most important thing is to also pray and ask God to take this addiction away from you so that you will remain pleasing to Him, but it's also your part to abstain with the help of the Holy Spirit. Will keep you in my prayers.

 

[Tenchi]

Hi, there. I disciple men. Have done for many years. Pornography is, as I'm sure you know, a BIG issue for guys these days, Christian or not. It's my great privilege to help Christian men discover God's "route of escape" from all sin (1 Corinthians 10:13), not just pornography. That route is spelled out in Romans 6. Are you familiar with the chapter, at all? I would urge you strongly to become very familiar with it, memorize it, even, and by God's grace, in faith, begin to stand upon the truths it describes about you as a born-again child of God. Only as you do will you come fully and permanently free of your addiction - and the grip of any other sin, too.

If you want to talk with me about the chapter, feel free to do so in this thread.

 

[for_his_glory]

Hi, there. I disciple men. Have done for many years. Pornography is, as I'm sure you know, a BIG issue for guys these days, Christian or not. It's my great privilege to help Christian men discover God's "route of escape" from all sin (1 Corinthians 10:13), not just pornography. That route is spelled out in Romans 6. Are you familiar with the chapter, at all? I would urge you strongly to become very familiar with it, memorize it, even, and by God's grace, in faith, begin to stand upon the truths it describes about you as a born-again child of God. Only as you do will you come fully and permanently free of your addiction - and the grip of any other sin, too.

If you want to talk with me about the chapter, feel free to do so in this thread.

Very good advice as we look to the scriptures in out times of need. Temptations are our greatest adversary when Satan dangles that which appears pleasing to the lust of the flesh, but harmful to our very soul.

 

[PartisanRanger]

Side note: sorry I’m new to this, I just logged into this site while looking for advice on this.

So as the question states, I’m currently addicted to (specifically fanmade) pornography. It started when I was around 16 when I accidentally came across some of it. I was screening through YouTube reading fan comics about a tv show I liked at the time. I was stunned, shocked, and had a ton of strong feelings I never felt before. Most of it was implied but sometimes it went detailed. It exhilarated me yet horrified me at the same time. It was pretty on and off: I would get stuck in watching/reading fan pornography for a good month or so and then I would get away from it for a few of months(?) and then fall right back into it. My mother caught me once but due to a disability of mine she only told me not to do it again. I stayed away for longer but then fell back into it. It wasn’t a full blown addiction until I started college and got more “freedom” and personal time. During the in between times when I would stay with my family, sometimes I would struggle but not too much. This year though, I went over the edge with it. Instead of studying or taking care of myself I would spend nearly hours just reading pornography.
I’m pretty good at covering my tracks too so no one could possibly find it, deleting all evidence.
I am seeing what it’s turning me into and how its desensitizing me to a lot of things and introducing unacceptable practices into my mind. My problem is while I want to let it go, part of me doesn’t because of the thrill it gives me. I can see how it’s hurting my life, faith, school, relationships, and personal views. My therapists both have urged me to confess to my parents so I can get their help. My dad even went through this and knows how to help.

My fear is that if I tell them, they will be disappointed in me seeing how far I’ve fallen. I also am scared to tell them because when they help me with my struggles, sometimes they get frustrated with my lack of progress. It’s not their fault and I know I need to be patient with myself but sometimes I don’t put in the work to fix things I’m dealing with (cause I’m either too scared or confused to do so) and they get frustrated with me about it. I’m nervous about telling my parents because I’m scared of disappointing them and frustrating them with my difficult behavior. I’m waiting for the right time to tell them this struggle but IDK when or how to tell them that this is what I’m dealing with?

Any seasoned mothers or young adult daughters got any advice?

Thank you so much for sharing this experience with us.

 

[DiscipleDave]

Side note: sorry I’m new to this, I just logged into this site while looking for advice on this.

So as the question states, I’m currently addicted to (specifically fanmade) pornography. It started when I was around 16 when I accidentally came across some of it. I was screening through YouTube reading fan comics about a tv show I liked at the time. I was stunned, shocked, and had a ton of strong feelings I never felt before. Most of it was implied but sometimes it went detailed. It exhilarated me yet horrified me at the same time. It was pretty on and off: I would get stuck in watching/reading fan pornography for a good month or so and then I would get away from it for a few of months(?) and then fall right back into it. My mother caught me once but due to a disability of mine she only told me not to do it again. I stayed away for longer but then fell back into it. It wasn’t a full blown addiction until I started college and got more “freedom” and personal time. During the in between times when I would stay with my family, sometimes I would struggle but not too much. This year though, I went over the edge with it. Instead of studying or taking care of myself I would spend nearly hours just reading pornography.
I’m pretty good at covering my tracks too so no one could possibly find it, deleting all evidence.
I am seeing what it’s turning me into and how its desensitizing me to a lot of things and introducing unacceptable practices into my mind. My problem is while I want to let it go, part of me doesn’t because of the thrill it gives me. I can see how it’s hurting my life, faith, school, relationships, and personal views. My therapists both have urged me to confess to my parents so I can get their help. My dad even went through this and knows how to help.

My fear is that if I tell them, they will be disappointed in me seeing how far I’ve fallen. I also am scared to tell them because when they help me with my struggles, sometimes they get frustrated with my lack of progress. It’s not their fault and I know I need to be patient with myself but sometimes I don’t put in the work to fix things I’m dealing with (cause I’m either too scared or confused to do so) and they get frustrated with me about it. I’m nervous about telling my parents because I’m scared of disappointing them and frustrating them with my difficult behavior. I’m waiting for the right time to tell them this struggle but IDK when or how to tell them that this is what I’m dealing with?

Any seasoned mothers or young adult daughters got any advice?

i made a video about porn problems and what to do about it. Go to DiscipleDave(dot)com and then click on my YouTube Videos, then third column 15th down is porn problem video.

Do not know if putting links is OK, so i did the above, which is NOT a link, instead.

 

[Tenchi]

God's Way of Escape from Sin.

1 Corinthians 10:13 13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. Carl’s hooked. Badly. He didn’t...

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