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How to respond to disappointments.

Classik

Classik

Member
A friend called my sister and told her she wants to spend the week (or some days) at my sister's place.

(The lady is not my sister's immediate friend. My sister got to know her through my other sister).

My sister's responce was NO: she was not going to help - she would be inconvenienced.

She called my parents and they were willing to assist her. My sister visited our family and discovered the lady was already home to my parents. I noticed a change in her attitude towards my sister and towards her own family.

The lady was angry but was trying to conceal her anger towards my sister.

Should people get angry when they feel they have been disappointed or not helped by others? This case has nothing to do with disappointment - 'cause my sister already said she was not gonna help. So, she didn't promise to help and fail.

Are we justified to get angry?

Thanks all.
 
This person invited herself to your sisters place?

It sounds like her expectations exceeded what was reasonable. The best way to avoid disappointments is to not allow your expectations to exceed your commitments.

Once you find yourself in a state of disappointment suck it up and move forward.
To be angry with the one who disappointed is to harbor unforgiveness and we know that is wrong
 
craigmn3 said:
This person invited herself to your sisters place?

It sounds like her expectations exceeded what was reasonable. The best way to avoid disappointments is to not allow your expectations to exceed your commitments.

Once you find yourself in a state of disappointment suck it up and move forward.
To be angry with the one who disappointed is to harbor unforgiveness and we know that is wrong
Click to expand...

Thanks:wave

God works in a mysterious way.

I learnt that she even brought her baby along. (This baby is her first child, about 3 - 4 months old, not quite sure). Such a young mother, as is with every mother on this first child journey, is not experienced.

My own mom is the one nursing her child and assisting her. Her dissappointment is now a huge blessing.

You can see how God works.
 
Classik you have really helpful input on this forum and a good kind heart. I really do like you for that.

Usually with people there is much more going on than the small amount of insight you get from a first glance of a situation.

The persons parental examples do dictate the way they act in the world and how they might treat acquaintances .

now regarding this person imposing on your sister. Do you think roles reversed she would act the way she wants your sister to?


It is a tricky thing this in that some people act irresponsibly and sponge off others to clean it up for free, yet others are genuinely in need for life's cruelty dished up to them.

Possibly desperation can case something like imposing on your sister.

The hard part is discernment and there are no quick simple answers as decisions may dictate eternity and it it is not always an easy choice.
Your sister does have a right to a non cramped house with children particularly.
 
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I don't know why man loves yes and completely hates no. She must be glad inside that my sister had said NO. Otherwise I wonder how such a young mother (this is her first baby) could have successfully taken care of this baby.

I was home. I overheard my mom telling her: do this at this time and do that at this other time. You don't do this; you don't do that. The weather is so cold. I won't bath your baby now 'cause the weather is so cold. I will do that when the temperature rises a little.

Feed the baby now. The baby isn't just sad - the baby is hungry. All those stuff about babies...

The young mother knows nothing about babies. Her own mom is very far away somewhere.


Coming back to my sister...
Definitely she's more than busy at her office. She can't help her at all. She leaves in the morning and the family arrives home around 5 or 6 in the evening. How can a desperate young mom survive alone.

The lady and her baby are doing just fine. Her responsibility is 'breastfeed the baby'. My mother does the rest.

She's grateful to God.
 
I don't know why man loves yes and completely hates no
Click to expand...
<O:p</O:pbecause a " yes" would make us think and feel that things are under our control and that everything is gonna be ok as we expected but the truth is we don't see the bigger picture and the things waiting ahead. A" no " often times disguises as the " bad guy" that will challenge our reaction and decision making. Sometimes we love challenges but mostly we don't coz we hate to take risk, we hate rejections , we don't want to be uncomfortable and we hate the final aswer " no".
<O:p</O:p
One of my favourite movie is spider man ( Toby Maguire) and i have watched the first film like 5 times...and i like to watch it all over again , why? because i already know the ending ....i know that Peter Parker will be spider man and overcome all the supervillains and finally kiss MJ in the end....so i know that my favourite superhero will be not die in the end.<O:p</O:p
<O:p</O:p

I think naturally in life we feel like that. We always want things to come and happen as we expect them to be. We spend much of our time and energy to get what we want and maintain what we have for our comfort. But being natural doesn't always mean it is also spiritual. As a Christian we recieve hope and faith in Christ. And that hope and faith should be actively working in us. A life live with Christ is not easy one, but it promises transformation into the very character of Jesus. Change doesn't come from complacency; it comes from dying to yourself and serving others.<O:p</O:p
 
God's_gift said:


<O:p</O:pbecause a " yes" would make us think and feel that things are under our control and that everything is gonna be ok as we expected but the truth is we don't see the bigger picture and the things waiting ahead. A" no " often times disguises as the " bad guy" that will challenge our reaction and decision making. Sometimes we love challenges but mostly we don't coz we hate to take risk, we hate rejections , we don't want to be uncomfortable and we hate the final aswer " no".
<O:p</O:p
One of my favourite movie is spider man ( Toby Maguire) and i have watched the first film like 5 times...and i like to watch it all over again , why? because i already know the ending ....i know that Peter Parker will be spider man and overcome all the supervillains and finally kiss MJ in the end....so i know that my favourite superhero will be not die in the end.<O:p</O:p
<O:p</O:p

I think naturally in life we feel like that. We always want things to come and happen as we expect them to be. We spend much of our time and energy to get what we want and maintain what we have for our comfort. But being natural doesn't always mean it is also spiritual. As a Christian we recieve hope and faith in Christ. And that hope and faith should be actively working in us. A life live with Christ is not easy one, but it promises transformation into the very character of Jesus. Change doesn't come from complacency; it comes from dying to yourself and serving others.<O:p</O:p
Click to expand...

Lovely, friend. Thanks for that. You sure sound a little Doraic:thumbsup
 
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