How would you deal with toxic person?.

[Anaphora]

If you live with husband who commits adultery. Or wife who does drugs. Or a dad who is narcissist, and causes emotional and psychological abuse. Would you try to get them to get counseling. Or cut the toxic person out your life. I lived with narcissist 5 years ago, and went through emotional and psychological abuse. I moved away years ago. I have peace of mind. Jesus tells us similar in mark 9:43. And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go to hell, into the fire that shall never be quenched. If someone is causing person to stumble, or sin, then cut the person out your life. Why would any sane person put up with toxic person, or evil person. Habitual sinners who live lifestyle of sin are headed for hell. Myself, I wont put with toxic person. It's a discussion for yourselves. I moved on to other subjects.

 

[Tweeter]

"Lived with"? Married? Children? Toxicity, whatever that is, isn't biblical grounds for divorce. Nor is there any virtue in taking what you think is the easy way out.

In most, if not all, bad relationships, there's plenty of blame to go around. And, he's still the same person you chose to move in with. So, don't put all the blame on him. At least he didn't abandon you, as you did him.

You moved on to other subjects rather than examining your life. That reminds me of a famous quote about a life not worth living.

 

[Christ_empowered]

I dunno

I strongly suspect psychology is not compatible with a Christian outlook and lifestyle. Right now if someone despises a person the going label is narcissism. If the hatred is especially intense one can then intensify the label to something like malignant narcissism on and on. Back in the day the tendency was to use psych labels more frequently on women so the borderline label was popular.

Personally I’ve found the mental health industry incredibly destructive and fraudulent. 10 years after coming to truly know Jesus I have to say…

Control and destruction are the name of the game. Not of God.

If one needs a divorce because of abuse or repeated adultery there’s no reason to resort to psych labels for pseudoscientific name calling. Pray about it consult a lawyer and move on.

 

[for_his_glory]

1 Corinthians 7:10, Jesus commands the woman not to leave her husband and if she does she should remain unmarried, but in Malachi 2:10-16 the treachery that man commits against a woman which leads him to have an affair outside of the marriage or abuses the wife whether it be physical or emotional gives place to what was said by Moses in Deuteronomy 24:1-4 that if a woman is no longer pleasing to her husband then the husband should give his wife a written bill of divorcement and send her out of the house and this gives the woman the right to marry again, but she can never go back to her former husband if that marriage does not work out or her husband dies for now she is defiled to be with her first husband and this is an abomination to God.

This also goes both ways as many times it is the woman that has afairs in their marriage and physically and mentally abuses her husband.

After my second divorce I knew that my ex was not going to change no matter how hard I tried, even as far as to get him to go to church. God does not expect us to stay in a tozic relationship and as in my case He made away where there was no way for me to get out of it.

For a good marriage to work one should study 2 Corinthians 6:14 be ye not unequally yoked together with non-believers for what fellowship hath righteous with unrighteous, and what communion has light with darkness. If you are a believer in Jesus Christ then you need to choose a mate that also believes in the faith of Christ. In some marriages people do not enter into a relationship with Christ being the center of it, but maybe one of them come to know the Lord and the other one refuses to have that personal relationship with Christ then we go back to what 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 says. If the unbelieving partner leaves the believing partner then this frees the believing partner from the bondage of the vows of marriage and they are free to marry again.

Before ever getting married take time to really know each other and establish a friendship that consist of trust and belief in each other. Allow Christ to be the center of your friendship and this will allow you to begin a marriage that is totally Christ centered. Always resolve your problems with the Holy Ghost guidance through the word and you will always have a good marriage. Always be opened and honest with each other for this builds trust in the relationship, but if that trust is broken there is no relationship. Love each other unconditionally as Christ loves us and forgives us our faults. As long as we live in this flesh we will sin at times, but when you acknowledge those sins and ask for forgiveness God will always forgive us. Always be ready to forgive each other seventy times seven, Matthew 22:21,22, and not only forgive, but forget the sin as God remembers our sins no more when we repent of them. The outside appearance will always change and beauty may fade, but it is the heart of the person we are to love and the heart will never change as long as the love of Christ dwells within it.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

Right now if someone despises a person the going label is narcissism.

Lol, that's true.

I found the subject rather frustrating because we all by nature have narcissistic traits. What I have found is there are at least three very identifiable traits that pretty much define a person as a clinical narcissist:

High level of disagreeableness (they will constantly challenge and find fault with everything you say).

The inability to take responsibility for what they've done wrong or harmful, always blaming someone or something else for their behavior.

Holding deep hatred and unforgiveness, even contempt for those who they perceive to have hurt them, particularly if the conflict exposes an ugly truth about them.

Throw in the unreasonable sense of entitlement they have that demands that everybody and everything please them and not burden them and you're probably dealing with a clinical narcissist.

All these things are usually expressed in predictable behaviors - the wife who shames her husband for wanting sex, the overly jealous husband, and so on. But when you cut right to the source the basic signs I listed above are what identify a person as being clinically narcissistic.

And you can't point this out to them. They will firmly resist the attempt and perceive it as an unfair attack and they will hate you and punish you for doing it and will make it a point to deprive you of good.

 

[Tweeter]

Another contemptable trait of modern church culture is their blind support of corrupt members. If someone chooses divorce, church members love to rush in and support the offender in some perverted notion of love. I don't see a difference in that and those churches that have protected sexually abusive priests and other employees, out of some absurd reasoning. It defies God and facilitates more suffering as others follow bad examples.

How low we have sunk when a professed Christian thinks calling someone a narcissist or toxic, vague terms at best, is an adequate defense, that we should accept, for breaking what God has joined.

It has been observed that liberals are far more likely to end friendships, push away family, and social media block others over political differences than conservatives are to do the same. When I hear someone complaining about a "toxic" partner, I tend to think the person making the accusation is the real problem in the relationship. They're showing cancel culture and intolerance, to deflect from their own lack of love and godliness. And, by divorcing, they've removed my doubt that the accuser is the real toxic individual, especially if they come off sounding flippant.

 

[for_his_glory]

Another contemptable trait of modern church culture is their blind support of corrupt members. If someone chooses divorce, church members love to rush in and support the offender in some perverted notion of love. I don't see a difference in that and those churches that have protected sexually abusive priests and other employees, out of some absurd reasoning. It defies God and facilitates more suffering as others follow bad examples.

How low we have sunk when a professed Christian thinks calling someone a narcissist or toxic, vague terms at best, is an adequate defense, that we should accept, for breaking what God has joined.

It has been observed that liberals are far more likely to end friendships, push away family, and social media block others over political differences than conservatives are to do the same. When I hear someone complaining about a "toxic" partner, I tend to think the person making the accusation is the real problem in the relationship. They're showing cancel culture and intolerance, to deflect from their own lack of love and godliness. And, by divorcing, they've removed my doubt that the accuser is the real toxic individual, especially if they come off sounding flippant.

There is a saying that says it takes two to tango, but that is not true in every case.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

How low we have sunk when a professed Christian thinks calling someone a narcissist or toxic, vague terms at best, is an adequate defense, that we should accept, for breaking what God has joined.

It has been observed that liberals are far more likely to end friendships, push away family, and social media block others over political differences than conservatives are to do the same. When I hear someone complaining about a "toxic" partner, I tend to think the person making the accusation is the real problem in the relationship. They're showing cancel culture and intolerance, to deflect from their own lack of love and godliness. And, by divorcing, they've removed my doubt that the accuser is the real toxic individual, especially if they come off sounding flippant.

I have to agree with this.
As much as we all hate toxicity in relationships, God will purposely allow them to exist in our lives, despite our longing for healing and deliverance, with the intent of using them for our good. I'm convinced God uses marriage, particularly, to develop character. But I do believe that we should not be hasty to judge a situation another person is in that they have chosen to escape. Some people fail to endure, or decide they don't need to endure, and we have to be compassionate and understanding of their situation.

 

[WIP]

Let's take care to focus on the OP's questions so we don't take this discussion off topic. Thanks.