[__ Prayer __] Hypothetics as Therapy

[daninthelionsden]

Whenever I had an upcoming interview during my working days, I always over thought it and wound up having a "million" interviews in my head before the actual one. This mental burning of energy had limited use/benefit. Whenever I became disabled, hypothetics continued as I tried processing whatever it was I was in such denial of. The guilt/shame/embarrassment of having been abused, overrode my ability to recall it. I had buried it so deeply that I had no idea the reasons for my confusing behavior/reactions.
I was very hard on our oldest son. He never seemed to grasp the seriousness of his actions. My wife said once "allow him to be a little boy and quit demanding he be a little man." I realized after being led through my denial by the Holy Spirit, that I had been mirroring my abuse back to him. My "Dad" had tried to send me away. A decade later, my mother and her sick priest boyfriend tried sending me away as well. Thus the curse of perfectionist behavior took root in me.
A few years back. I was having a hypothetical discussion with myself about my failure as a father toward our oldest boy. I paced the house as I was "pressed" as to why I was so hard on him. Let's drop in shall we?
"But why are you so demanding?"......"Because he needs to know the world is a hard place with hard people."
"But why did you have to be THAT hard on him?"......"Because he needs to know they'll hurt him."
"But why are you so hard on him?"........"Because the world is a serious place with serious consequences".
"But why are you so hard on HIM?"........"BECAUSE THEY'RE GOING TO SEND HIM AWAY IF HE DOESN'T GET IT RIGHT!"
At that point I stopped pacing in silence and verbally yelled out my response. Prior to that, I didn't why I had singled him out. In an instance everything became crystal clear what I had been doing to him and why. I cursed my parents in anguish.
Was I having a conversation with myself or the Holy Spirit? Was I being my own best friend working through things on my own? or was Jesus pacing with me asking those questions? Some things we won't know til the Last Day.

 

[Tessa]

Dan, it's like you used hypothetica to search your heart, and it worked for you. Some people don't know how to search their hearts. I think you just helped them. We have many guests looking in.

 

[Truthfrees]

Whenever I had an upcoming interview during my working days, I always over thought it and wound up having a "million" interviews in my head before the actual one. This mental burning of energy had limited use/benefit. Whenever I became disabled, hypothetics continued as I tried processing whatever it was I was in such denial of. The guilt/shame/embarrassment of having been abused, overrode my ability to recall it. I had buried it so deeply that I had no idea the reasons for my confusing behavior/reactions.
I was very hard on our oldest son. He never seemed to grasp the seriousness of his actions. My wife said once "allow him to be a little boy and quit demanding he be a little man." I realized after being led through my denial by the Holy Spirit, that I had been mirroring my abuse back to him. My "Dad" had tried to send me away. A decade later, my mother and her sick priest boyfriend tried sending me away as well. Thus the curse of perfectionist behavior took root in me.
A few years back. I was having a hypothetical discussion with myself about my failure as a father toward our oldest boy. I paced the house as I was "pressed" as to why I was so hard on him. Let's drop in shall we?
"But why are you so demanding?"......"Because he needs to know the world is a hard place with hard people."
"But why did you have to be THAT hard on him?"......"Because he needs to know they'll hurt him."
"But why are you so hard on him?"........"Because the world is a serious place with serious consequences".
"But why are you so hard on HIM?"........"BECAUSE THEY'RE GOING TO SEND HIM AWAY IF HE DOESN'T GET IT RIGHT!"
At that point I stopped pacing in silence and verbally yelled out my response. Prior to that, I didn't why I had singled him out. In an instance everything became crystal clear what I had been doing to him and why. I cursed my parents in anguish.
Was I having a conversation with myself or the Holy Spirit? Was I being my own best friend working through things on my own? or was Jesus pacing with me asking those questions? Some things we won't know til the Last Day.

wow - very good awareness - God is for sure working with you - Praise God

working through things is something we want to do - we need healing and closure

imo God is with us helping us - to be sure i invite God to help me and work through things with me - i ask Him questions and ask Him to show me what's going on and what i am supposed to do - being honest and facing things is not easy - but it really helps set us free -

praying in support of the wonderful path you are on with God now to receive healing wholeness and strength in place of all the trauma wounds and scars

God bless you

 

[daninthelionsden]

Dan, it's like you used hypothetica to search your heart, and it worked for you. Some people don't know how to search their hearts. I think you just helped them. We have many guests looking in.

I was warned by a psychologist that using hypothetics was like walking next to a "slippery slope" because she had seen so many of her patients slide off the deep end and begin thinking the discussions were real and the people they were talking to were real too. I know this can happen as we have a homeless man who frequents the park we live next to and he likes to yell at the trees for hours on end.
I try to obey the Word and "examine ourselves" ( I forget the book/chapter/verse....all my books in storage). It can be a scary exercise, but as long as I can differentiate reality vs perception (with God and my wife's help) then sans helpful doctors, it has helped reveal and pull hidden memories to the surface for examination and possible resolution.
I don't know if I would recommend this for anyone else. All I know is that it works for me. I could imagine walking someone else through it by role-playing. I've heard acting classes can expose lost/hidden memories.

 

[Tessa]

It seemed to help you reason why you acted in certain ways, which was good. But then I believe you have to let go of those bad experiences, once it is sorted. I know that is hard to do. Always praying for you Dan.

 

[daninthelionsden]

It seemed to help you reason why you acted in certain ways, which was good. But then I believe you have to let go of those bad experiences, once it is sorted. I know that is hard to do. Always praying for you Dan.

I heard an actor, who had been in counseling, once say in an interview that all of us have some unsorted luggage to some degree or other. He said those with the most unsorted luggage need more help and more time to sort it back to the right order.
I cautiously think I have identified my luggage. I have most of it sorted. There is so very very much of it. It won't fit back in the closet. It demands validation(DNA test). It demands justice, not just for me, but for all the children who have been molested, who are now being molested and who will be molested in the future if that despicable sex cult masquerading as a church is not exposed and held to some sort of accountability.
If my wife continues to heal and my son is left alone, then I intend to resume writing my fictional Christmas fantasy novella. If it succeeds and I can make a living being a writer, then I will most likely attempt to cope through denial once again and try to outrun my luggage to my grave.

 

[Tessa]

I understand where you are coming from. They must have done this to others too. It usually comes out in the end.
Take heart Dan.