WMD,
Welcome to the board, WMD.
Psalm 42
1 As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.
2 My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before God?
3 My tears have been my meat day and night, while they continually say unto me, Where is thy God?
4 When I remember these things, I pour out my soul in me: for I had gone with the multitude, I went with them to the house of God, with the voice of joy and praise, with a multitude that kept holyday.
5 Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.
6 O my God, my soul is cast down within me: therefore will I remember thee from the land of Jordan, and of the Hermonites, from the hill Mizar.
7 Deep calleth unto deep at the noise of thy waterspouts: all thy waves and thy billows are gone over me.
8 Yet the LORD will command his lovingkindness in the daytime, and in the night his song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life.
9 I will say unto God my rock, Why hast thou forgotten me? why go I mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?
10 As with a sword in my bones, mine enemies reproach me; while they say daily unto me, Where is thy God?
11 Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.
Is it possible that the stirring that is in your soul has caused the action of belief, and obedience, in you? You said you are now attending services, and leading your family back to a path that you were once taught was right by your parents, right? So, this is not emotion, which can be temporary, but so deep in you that you have turned directions in your life. It's you under His control, as Dave pointed out so well. Your belief, and obedience, are sustained by the Holy Spirit. I think the stirring is there if there is belief to action in you. This is the ultimate form of worship...doing all things unto Him. Ecclesiates 12:13 "Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man." God can use this (dry?) time to send your roots deeper for water, and your branches upward more for the light of Truth if you abide in Him despite your feelings. I imagine you have learned that lesson somewhat from your younger days of straying, and maybe God is strengthening your roots this time. The encouraging thing is that you are not counting on your emotion to be sure of the Rock on which you stand this time, but faith. Notice that Psalm, David didn't either...he simply counted on the hope of it because He trusted God at His Word, even in a time of deep despair like this one where he couldn't feel it, or see it. I think someone in a dry season can hope in the ability to feel the stirring one day, and know that the stirring is there even when they can't feel it, because they believe God at His Word.
You have had a lot of training in the Word, and the Lord is able to use that which your parents, and the Holy Spirit, have hidden in your heart in your life today. (Thank them!) So, the Holy Spirit is able to bring it up for you, and to help you hold the truth of it, and rely on it as you grow in Him. You are heading back in the direction that your parents were leading you...is it familiar? Now, the difference is that's Jesus in front of you, and you are a willing disciple yourself no matter what the circumstances are being led by the Holy Spirit. Now that you have the Holy Spirit teaching you, you can see the truth in those principals for yourself.
My encouragement to you is to fill your mind up with the good things of Him, and allow your simple affection to be directed at Him freely without the expectation of a flood of it, or that it will be described as others describe it. Trust Him to do things in your life His time...you can't grow yourself, or decide your own direction, when you are supposed to be dependant on the Lord for such things. Set any pride (self- awareness) aside, and be genuine with Him. Come as a little child, basically. Stay in prayer, and in the Word, it's a feast of manna, and long drink of water to fill you up to overflowing...I imagine you are a lot like the prodigal son who was so hungry to eat at his Father's table, even if it was only as a servant. And what happened? His Father prepared as feast for the homecoming of His son!!!!
We should worship Him in Spirit and in Truth, and He will take nothing less than all of you. If you are setting your mind on that, then don't worry about outward affection, because it is already there inwardly. This is not about style, but about God demanding all, and us surrendering. By turning around, and walking in the direction of right, you are giving it to Him by faith...even when you don't feel it. This IS the STIRRING!!!!! I think the affection will come...like a flood as I said, in His time. He will continue to strip you of self, and expose the light to all of you. He wants His children to love Him with all their heart, mind, and soul, and might. You have mustered up the might to do that, and now you are leading your family in that direction...MORE STIRRING...devotion enough to lead the ones you love in the Way. The rest will be His too.
I am sorry this is so long, but I wanted to share some verses...
God's desires for your life are in this verse....
Deuteronomy 5:29 " O that there were such an heart in them, that they would fear me, and keep all my commandments always, that it might be well with them, and with their children for ever! "
Think of your heart as His Tabernacle, and set it on Him...
Exodus 25:22a "And there I will meet with thee, and I will commune with thee..."
Colossians 3:1-3 "If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God.
2 Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.
3 For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God."
Proverbs 4:23 "23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life."
Set your mind on Him...
Proverbs 1:7 " The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction. "
Proverbs 14:26-27 "26 In the fear of the LORD is strong confidence: and his children shall have a place of refuge.
27 The fear of the LORD is a fountain of life, to depart from the snares of death. "
2 Corinthians 10:5 " Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;"
The Lord bless you, and your whole family has my prayers. BTW, welcome home, brother.
Hey Dave, could you give a link for that quote of Mr. Begg's? Thanks, I'd enjoy reading it.
: Christianity is so big and there are so many different areas that we can study as we try to bring it all together. Some people like the historical part, some like end times, some like the OT, some like this while others like that.