I don't think I'm attracted to my Fiancé. How do I fix this, what would god want me to do?

[ejfkaoskjkjkj]

Hello everyone, I have a fiancé who I've sworn to marry, but lately, I've been questioning a lot. I love him, but I'm not in love with him, but I know splitting up would destroy him emotionally and he may never get married and have children in the future. The circumstances of how we got together is really complicated and has a lot to do with trauma and abuse from my family that he pulled me out of when I turned 18. How to I fix this problem, how to I become attracted to him? He's seriously a wonderful person and I hate that I'm struggling with this. I want to make him happy and the idea of hurting him is just awful. I have a lot of sexual trauma too that has pretty much made me completely asexual.

 

[Who Me]

I've been questioning a lot. I love him, but I'm not in love with him

I think you need to do two things.
1, be honest with him, you are not ready for marriage.
2, seek help counselling for your various issues.
Please do not marry because of a ' feeling ', whether that is a feeling of gratitude or because you think you love him.

Marriage is more than living together, there is a sexual element which if you are unable to participate in destroys the marriage.


Talk to him, talk to people you respect in your church for advice and seel professional counselling.

 

[Br4nd0n]

Call it off and take care of yourself. You'll regret it if your simply marrying to appease someone.

 

[for_his_glory]

Like Who Me said, you need to sit and talk this all out with your fiancé or you might regret it after you get married. You said you love him, but not in love with him and that is not how you start a marriage thinking you might eventually fall head over heals in loving him the way you want that to be. You love him for being there for you in a bad time in your life and that is more like being grateful to him, possibly feeling secure in his arms as it's a safe place of comfort for you right now. Talk to him as if he has any compassion for you he will hear you out and understand where you are coming from and then the two of you can make the proper discission, even if its to remain good friends for now.