You are a miracle.
You have been through absolute hell, and yet, here you are.
I deeply respect you.
You are special to the Lord. His eyes see you, as you are, and He loves you.
I have had things happen to me like you. Once I got drunk, was raped, and beaten. There were big bruises all over my body. My hair was caked in dirt and matted. I woke up and didn't remember anything. People laughed about that.
I've been raped three times.
I haven't told anyone in the fourm, but I have been assaulted by demons in my sleep. My spirit would awaken and my body would freeze and I was literally beaten. They would also sexually assault me. I had horrible night terrors. I've had out of body experiences. I used to be able to sense darkness around people. I was a cashier and they would come through my line and I could sense a demonic presence. One time I went in a Christian store and there was a "christian" version of the game Magic. I walked by it and I felt darkness. So, I walked away, felt nothing. Walked back to it and felt the darkness again. I said something to the owner. I never saw it in the store again. This happened for over a decade. I was *tormented*. I would talk to councelors and they'd say, oh, its just your schizophrenia. But it wasn't. And I have never met anyone who has gone through what I've gone through. It HURTS. It scares the hell out of me. I know theres a spiritual realm. I've felt it, and have been in it. And the Holy Spirit is REAL! Trust me, He really is!!!!
Anyway, things have happened but I mentioned it because I want you to know that I care about you, and can relate in suffering.
You will ALWAYS have a friend in me.
I may not have the best answers, and I hope that I can be someone you can turn to for comfort. You are in my thoughts. I think of you every day and read your posts, even if I dont' reply...
Lastly, I want to say that:
You.have.HOPE!
Philippians 3:21
He will take our weak mortal bodies and change them into glorious bodies like his own, using the same power with which he will bring everything under his control.