[__ Prayer __] Is this to be expected?

[Christ_empowered]

I had a hard life pre Jesus. At age 28 I came to my senses and truly repented. I’d shown an interest in Jesus Christ previously but…? All I can say is that God spared me throughout and He has moved mightily in my life since I came to my senses. I’m 40 now.

So…I live in a small city near my parents who still live in a small town and the junk and static I get around the area are…

Pretty much 10-12 years ago repeating as if on loop ?.

I came to my senses on bond. I went from potentially facing 15 years in prison to doing 3 years probation for a class a misdemeanor. Because apparently this state has draconian punishment for everything lol ? I think in most states misdemeanors carry at most one year?! Not here…

So anyway I keep getting heckled and such and I haven’t been arrested since I bonded out 12 years ago. No drugs I don’t even drink. I’m apparently schizophrenic but high functioning and I somehow have a high iq estimate which is a blessing especially since a lot of people lose estimated iq as schizophrenia progresses.

So I dunno ?‍ I’m doing well enough to potentially transition from the clinic to a doctor here locally for med management etc so it’s not as if I’m trapped in some bizarre world ? of delusions etc. and…

My long suffering parents bought a place for me 6 years ago. I’m doing reasonably well now living somewhat autonomously. I get more help than I can even pretend to deserve. And…

I dunno ? I get that schizophrenia itself is stigmatized and I’m now 40 schizophrenic and I have a conviction but…?

I’m reasonably well dressed clean and I even shave every other day. And there are other schizophrenic people who get family support around here although..,

Side note: even relatively high functioning schizophrenic people are being warehoused in group homes. It’s a real problem and it scares me ?.

I’ve never been committed or even been in a state hospital ?. I’ve only been hospitalized twice and the last stint was over 15 years ago. So it’s weird to me that people openly talk about putting me away?

So…praying for what I need to bear up under it and not be miserable just because I’m still an outcast. Schizophrenic people are generally not super successful or high status. Maybe ? it’s because I live in modest but normal conditions?

I dunno ?

Thanks ?

 

[hawkman]

Side note: even relatively high functioning schizophrenic people are being warehoused in group homes. It’s a real problem and it scares me ?.

I am holding you up in prayer Christ_empowered no need to be afraid . God understands .