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[__ Prayer __] I think I'm changing

Christ_empowered

Christ_empowered

Member
Here's the thing...I realize now--and this has been a hard realization--that I had to change. I mean, yes, my environment has changed--awesome--my people treat me well, I go to Liberty, that's great. Still...this is happening because Christ has saved, is saving, and will save me.

So, I was out in the backyard, smokin (I know...I'm on wellbutrin, AKA zyban, which is supposed to help me quit), and some neighbor lady yelled at me. I was listening to the B-52s thru my MP3 player, but...she yelled, lol. I didn't catch what she said, thank goodness. I'm getting better. I pray to God to "give me what I need to bear up under what comes my way...," and its happening.

Oh, yeah...I'm doing well in school. I'm actually making a low A in one of my 2 classes, and a mid-B in the other. Its really, really early on, so...maybe I'll get 2 As this subterm, who knows? History is turning out to be an awesome major, especially since Liberty does it from a Christian perspective. Its like...the material is engaging and challenging, and then its tied into traditional Protestant Christianity. Good times.

I'm also house sitting while the 'rents are on vacay in Texas. Doing well. Not freaking out, even when the neighbors got drunk, obnoxious, and loud on Memorial Day. Rolled right off of me.

So...yeah...this is a Praise Report. :)
 
yeah. My counselor--Born Again w/ an M.Divinity, solid guy--told me that "recovery" (and, in my case, growth as a Christian) is sort of like losing weight...you don't see it, but those around you do.

Anyway, I'm beginning to see that The Bible is right, even about me...He really does "cause all things to come together for the good of those who are called..." Its one thing to know that and accept it on a surface level, another to see it and feel it in your own life.
 
Not you think you changing, you definitely are. I always enjoy reading your posts. I got this video from a friend thought I would share it with you and the rest of the forum.
 
I praise God for your changes, Sir. Some changes in us are immediate. Others are so gradual, we wonder if we are going anywhere, until you look around and see the scenery has completely changed without even realizing it. A lot of our walk is gradual, and thank God for that!

Blessings, my friend. Keep up the good fight and keep us tuned in. Your testimony helps more than you realize.
 
I'm 30 and...smart, for the first time in over 10 years. Its crazy. I guess sanity and intelligence are just things you take for granted until they're gone :-( . But, now, I'm increasingly normal and intelligent enough to do things in society, so...awesome.

I have a friend over right now. She's smart, in grad school, all that. She brought a movie, but I can't concentrate...plus, its a bit too much for me...Dear White People. LOL.

Anyway, it dawned on me...my life really starts now. I'm no longer in my youth, but I'm young enough to do something productive with my life, albeit a bit "late," as things usually go, anyway. No big deal. As we made chit chat, it dawned on me that I have good conversational skills, I'm more socially adept, and I actually care about what other people have to say. Not too shabby for one of the most obnoxious, oafish, socially inept people...e-v-e-r. God is good!

My intelligence has been restored. I'd like to think restored + a lil extra, lol, but...hey, I don't remember being this capable and also this able to *apply* myself, seeing the need for application of intelligence and understanding that I have to make use of the opportunities God blesses me with.

I should be dead. I should be in a state mental hospital. I should be a convicted felon. None of these things have come to pass, simply because Christ is good to even the most unlikely, most undeserving people. The neighbors continue to be an issue. Apparently, I "can never become a man" and am "nothing special." Fair enough. I have a solid masculine identity that I'm just now able to develop and I'm also, finally, after all these years, focusing on productivity, not special-ness.

My friend is on meds, too, lighter than me. She wants off, says she's been on meds when compassion and therapy could have done the trick. I'm thinking maybe one day I'll do the same, when God deems it time for me to go off my chemical helpers, lol. Till then..

...still praying, learning, and (of course) "recovering."
 
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