PrimFinallyFoundGod!
Member
I won't get into it. If you know you know.
For some back story I'm not very well. I'm STILL waiting to begin therapy (they keep extending the date) and I live in a very dangerous place. Stress is my middle name at this point. I don't think I'm in a good place to be on the social side of the net very often. I'm not quitting as I like getting to talk with fellow Christians, as well as learn new things. I'm just going to chill out a bit lol. When I'm finally living somewhere safe, I think things will be much less chaotic!
However, everyone has handled this situation with so much patience, compassion and understanding it's unbelievable. I'm still "unlearning" the stereotype that faithful folk are the most intolerant and angry people (I'm finding the opposite is actually true..)
I'd like to share with you guys a moment (one of many now lol) where God has clearly spoken to me.
A few weeks ago I was in sunday service and in a VERY bad place. I was contemplating things I really shouldn't, especially in church. I was losing concentration on the service, just fiddling with my bracelet and believing increasingly self-volatile things.
All of a sudden... a sermon about something completely unrelated suddenly changes and the lady starts talking about suicide. I peaked over and increasingly paid more and more attention, I couldn't believe how precise the things she was saying were. About the enemy and his wicked lies (including naming the lies such as self hate) and suicide. Past trauma. It just kept on going. I was stunned and very emotional. He had used this sermon to reach me, very precisely. Much more precise than I'm saying.
Afterwards she talked to me as well as some other priests as they'd sensed I was off, I explained what had happened and some of my backstory. They listened, and we prayed together.
Since then many similar occurrences have happened, particularly regarding some of the SPECIFIC lies such as I'm not good enough (last sunday was a whole sermon on that!) and I've also prayed and noticed my eating disorder (which I've had for 10 years) starting to fade away.
None of these people know me or anything about me, they come in from other churches to give sermons.
I'm sorry if I've hurt anyone here at any stage. It's embarrassing having these diagnoses' and not always feeling like I'm in control. I'm always so embarrassed when I see what I've been like afterwards. I'm very thankful to the way I have been treated though. I don't deserve such patience and love
Bless this website and every registered user.
Going forward I'm going to stick to more biblical posts and experiences such as above, sharing his works and reading of his works. I think some issues should remain between me and God, and the therapist when I finally see one. He is working in my life, amazing things keep happening, so praise the Lord.
Again I am really sorry. I have TERRIBLE emotional control skills, and I'm very easily misled into sin and wicked thoughts, by the father of lies. Definitely won't be like that again here as I'm going to avoid triggers and focus on the Lord. He can and is healing me, we are never beyond hope <3
I don't wish to elaborate as I don't want to revive/be reminded of precisely how I was, just know that I sense I was out of control and since my hiatus the great Lord has been doing incredible things for me. (So thread will be unwatched)
For some back story I'm not very well. I'm STILL waiting to begin therapy (they keep extending the date) and I live in a very dangerous place. Stress is my middle name at this point. I don't think I'm in a good place to be on the social side of the net very often. I'm not quitting as I like getting to talk with fellow Christians, as well as learn new things. I'm just going to chill out a bit lol. When I'm finally living somewhere safe, I think things will be much less chaotic!
However, everyone has handled this situation with so much patience, compassion and understanding it's unbelievable. I'm still "unlearning" the stereotype that faithful folk are the most intolerant and angry people (I'm finding the opposite is actually true..)
I'd like to share with you guys a moment (one of many now lol) where God has clearly spoken to me.
A few weeks ago I was in sunday service and in a VERY bad place. I was contemplating things I really shouldn't, especially in church. I was losing concentration on the service, just fiddling with my bracelet and believing increasingly self-volatile things.
All of a sudden... a sermon about something completely unrelated suddenly changes and the lady starts talking about suicide. I peaked over and increasingly paid more and more attention, I couldn't believe how precise the things she was saying were. About the enemy and his wicked lies (including naming the lies such as self hate) and suicide. Past trauma. It just kept on going. I was stunned and very emotional. He had used this sermon to reach me, very precisely. Much more precise than I'm saying.
Afterwards she talked to me as well as some other priests as they'd sensed I was off, I explained what had happened and some of my backstory. They listened, and we prayed together.
Since then many similar occurrences have happened, particularly regarding some of the SPECIFIC lies such as I'm not good enough (last sunday was a whole sermon on that!) and I've also prayed and noticed my eating disorder (which I've had for 10 years) starting to fade away.
None of these people know me or anything about me, they come in from other churches to give sermons.
I'm sorry if I've hurt anyone here at any stage. It's embarrassing having these diagnoses' and not always feeling like I'm in control. I'm always so embarrassed when I see what I've been like afterwards. I'm very thankful to the way I have been treated though. I don't deserve such patience and love
Bless this website and every registered user. Going forward I'm going to stick to more biblical posts and experiences such as above, sharing his works and reading of his works. I think some issues should remain between me and God, and the therapist when I finally see one. He is working in my life, amazing things keep happening, so praise the Lord.
Again I am really sorry. I have TERRIBLE emotional control skills, and I'm very easily misled into sin and wicked thoughts, by the father of lies. Definitely won't be like that again here as I'm going to avoid triggers and focus on the Lord. He can and is healing me, we are never beyond hope <3
I don't wish to elaborate as I don't want to revive/be reminded of precisely how I was, just know that I sense I was out of control and since my hiatus the great Lord has been doing incredible things for me. (So thread will be unwatched)
