I'm Celibate and my Girlfriend doesn't like that.

[Tina]

.
LOL... what's wrong with birth control? ... Is the use of contraceptives wrong? ......

No life is conceived during use of contraceptives, but if it is, then abortion would be wrong !!


.

 

[heather]

Wouldn't God be against Birth Control of any kind?
But then sex would cause over-population and poverty.

Mikey, God is not going to open the womb of a woman who is not supposed to have a child. For example, I have wanted a baby for 2 years now. It took 1 1/2 years of unprotected sex with my husband for us to conceive. I say this because even though we are/were married and owned our own house (we still do) I could not see a reason why we couldn't get pregnant. Then, one day 8 weeks ago, He opened my womb. About 4 weeks ago, my jaw just fell to the floor when I found out I was carrying our first child! It wasn't His perfect and pleasing plan for us to have a baby then, but it is now! So, God has His own methods of birth control for His children. If you're not supposed to have a baby, God will not bless you with one. He'll bless you in other ways, but not that way.

 

[Mikey]

I don't know...
I'm just weird, and think sex=babies.
The way I see it is:
If you don't want to get fat, don't over-eat;
If you don't want to get hit, don't get in a fight;
If you don't want to get acne, don't cover yourself in bacon grease;
If you don't want to get pregnant/have children, don't have sex.

Just seems lie a 1+1=2 kinda thing: Sex=pregnancy=babies. :halo

 

[Mikey]

Wouldn't God be against Birth Control of any kind?
But then sex would cause over-population and poverty.

Mikey, God is not going to open the womb of a woman who is not supposed to have a child. For example, I have wanted a baby for 2 years now. It took 1 1/2 years of unprotected sex with my husband for us to conceive. I say this because even though we are/were married and owned our own house (we still do) I could not see a reason why we couldn't get pregnant. Then, one day 8 weeks ago, He opened my womb. About 4 weeks ago, my jaw just fell to the floor when I found out I was carrying our first child! It wasn't His perfect and pleasing plan for us to have a baby then, but it is now! So, God has His own methods of birth control for His children. If you're not supposed to have a baby, God will not bless you with one. He'll bless you in other ways, but not that way.

... :gah
I'm sure it's not God's will for me to go out and sleep with some random girl, but if I did, I'm sure she'd get pregnant.:ohwell

 

[heather]

I'm not saying it's ok to go start sleeping with random women. I'm talking about within the confines of marriage. It allows for couples to consummate their marriage while not worrying about getting pregnant. I'm assuming that you are a virgin, but when you do marry and be that intimate with your wife, you'll know what it's like to make that commitment to her. You'll find how fun it is and how much of a special bond it creates within the marriage bed.

 

[Mikey]

So if you get married you won't get pregnant? :o
Everyone should get married!!!
Take that overpopulation! :halo

...
I get what you're saying though:
Sex is for married couples only.
Sarcasm: (If you're married, anything goes.) :Sarcasm

Now:
When I read Song of Soloman, I see petting, oral sex, and conventional sex.
God is against 'Men going into a woman from behind', but in Song of Soloman, he speaks of:

Tasting each others fruits,

Her beloved extending his hand through the opening which arouses her feelings for him

Sticky,dripping hands grasping the handle of a bolt

I was very immature when I first read this long ago, so I saw it in a way that might/might not be intended.
The Bible has many metaphors, so I don't know.
Is it wrong for married couples to engage in petting and oral(oral is a manipulation of anothers body for one's pleasure, but what if it is done willfully/lovingly?)

 

[heather]

Maybe I should have worded that a little better.

I believe that anything that does not hurt or humiliate your spouse or is bringing another person into the marriage bed and it happens between the 2 of you (so, porn is not included) is alright in the marriage bed. This is simply my personal conviction. So, in my opinion, if both the husband and the wife are agreed to oral sex and neither is either hurt or humiliated by it, then go for it!

 

[Mikey]

~I'm celibate!~ ^.^''

 

[Blazin Bones]

So if you get married you won't get pregnant? :o
Everyone should get married!!!
Take that overpopulation! :halo

...
I get what you're saying though:
Sex is for married couples only.
Sarcasm: (If you're married, anything goes.) :Sarcasm

Now:
When I read Song of Soloman, I see petting, oral sex, and conventional sex.
God is against 'Men going into a woman from behind', but in Song of Soloman, he speaks of:

Tasting each others fruits,

Her beloved extending his hand through the opening which arouses her feelings for him

Sticky,dripping hands grasping the handle of a bolt

I was very immature when I first read this long ago, so I saw it in a way that might/might not be intended.
The Bible has many metaphors, so I don't know.
Is it wrong for married couples to engage in petting and oral(oral is a manipulation of anothers body for one's pleasure, but what if it is done willfully/lovingly?)

We've had a thread in Parenting and Marriage about what is and isn't appropriate before. I personally think that unless you are engaged to be married, it is a topic thatother should back away from.

 

[Caroline H]

Yes, especially if you are deciding to stay celibate anyway. If you don't intend on marrying and having sex, it shouldn't matter to you what married couples are allowed to do.

 

[cyberjosh]

I'm a new-comer to this conversation so I will try to tread softly, but I am curious as to whether you have ended or toned-down your relationship with your girlfriend yet. I can actually tell you the craziest story about my best friend's girlfriend (almost three years ago now - and for all I know they are still together) and how she basically abused him by playing games with him verbally and emotionally. Distance between them (at different schools) let to some very angry and suspicious accusations (mostly unfounded) toward my friend if he didn't "stay in touch" every 24 (or less) hours, as well as some nearly rediculous "demands" that he keep in touch with her on myspace everyday (this led to many inappropriate exchange of words). It gets more detailed than that (and one time unexpectedly I got dragged into it) but I will hold on the details until later. I just don't want you to end up in the same situation my friend was in and have your girlfriend play you like she did him. Women can do that, even if you would like to think they never would - no matter how innocent or "sincere" they appear to be. Judge motives by what is being requested of you not by how it is delivered/presented ('played' in some cases) - because that's how you get led on, despite your own better judgment.

Just showing concern.

Josh

 

[Carpathian]

Here's a thoughtAs pitiful as it is for me to choose it.)

1 Corinthians 7:8-16 (New International Version)

8Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. 9But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

10To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

12To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

15But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife

So... I should be alone, but failing that if married, I should stay with her.
(I've always considered my relationship as marriage, even though it isn't not legally. I even told this to her when we first became BF/GF.)

Am I just twisting God's words to fit my own views?

Maybe you needed to invite her to your church or whatever you go. This girl, if she loved you and not lusted after you, would be more than willing to go to church with you. You are the man in this relationship. However, 2 Corinthians 6: 15 states:

"How can Christ and the Devil agree? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?"

I thought I could start a relationship with a sinner and still continue my walk. I fell because of it. She may change for a while, but let me tell you something. She has tasted sex before. She knows what is is like and when you're gone for a long while she's gonna descend into whatever lifestyle she was in before. All I'm saying is, if you and her still want to continue this, you should know what you're getting yourself into. She is a sinner. Point blank. I don't want to sound like a "religious nut" but she is not the only woman in the world. You'll find something a lot better along the way. Then again, you might be the catalyst to get her started on her walk, but she feels like she can control you. She is immature and needs to grow up and you need to get over your fear of sex. Sex is meant to be enjoyed by a married couple in whatever possible way your imagination can take you. God created sex for that, period. It is not wrong or sinful. The sin is withholding yourself from that when you get married, because you feel that you'll get her ( your wife) pregnant. Use whatever method you can. All I know is you keep that attitude up and when you get married you'll be seeing some extra callers on her cell phone. I'm not wishing that, but she is all about sex, and she'll need plenty of it from you.

There I had my say. Be safe, pray to God for the wisdom to deal with a situation that is obviously too big for you to handle. I know you will pray to Him...I'm only being hard on you because I did something wrong...and it hurts. All because I did not want to accept the truth God presented to me.

 

[Fembot]

I've read the majority of the Bible, but I wanted to see what other christians thought about it.
The Bible doesn't seem to say much concerning sex in marriage.
It says alot obout incest,fornification,homosexuality,etc., but what about the married couples?
My last question for example, I didn't find.
I want to nderstand more about God's will for married couples.
Song of Soloman says alot, but I couldn't find much concerning birth control in the Bible, except that God loves the child the momemnt it is 'concieved' in the womb.
Wouldn't God be against Birth Control of any kind?
But then sex would cause over-population and poverty.

Genesis 1:28

"Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground."

Don't let society make you afraid of procreating (within marriage of course). People starving in third world countries have more to do with politics than resources. Ask God for more understanding and it will become clearer. Women are taught to wait as long as possible to have children, fear the pain of childbirth and to not have too many cus they won't be able to afford them. God is our provider and true faith requires trusting in Him in all you do. Jesus fed a crowd with what? (alright I can't remember that one too well, somebody help me)

Try to save your girlfriend. If she won't come to your side-please leave her behind.
You seem to be losing faith. Pray, ask for help from someone at church.

 

[Mikey]

Judge motives by what is being requested of you not by how it is delivered/presented ('played' in some cases) - because that's how you get led on, despite your own better judgment.

That's good advice.
I'm going to reflect on that for a while...


Well, things havn't changed much, but I've been trying to move the relationship into more a 'friends' one.
I haven't thrown her away, but I've worked on taking my heart back.
I've put a little more space between us, and when we're together, I've found many 'distractions' for us, such as movies and videogames and stuff.
We see each other less, because I've stopped going to weekly events me and her used to go to.
She's making more friends, and spending more time with them (Unfortunetly she isn't 'interested' in any of them due to religious and political differences ;) )
I think we will either drift apart, or I'll be the one to bring her to God through example and mood.
Either way, I'm feeling a little more free from her. I still love her and care about her feelings.
I want to let her go softly.
When our common interests disapate, so will our connection.
Thank you all for caring. :nod

 

[nyc christian]

leave

 

[His daughter]

Amen brothers and sisters....

LEAVE!
LEAVE BEFORE YOU BECOME PARENTS!!!!!

Some thoughts...

Good on you for taking a stand and trying to extricate yourself from an extremely difficult situation. I salute you! I am sure you already have plenty to think about but I feel I have to share some thoughts....

I know a guy in a similar position to you who has been in an out of an emotionally abusive relationship with a very manipulative, controlling woman for twenty years. He was tricked and trapped when she became pregnant and he turned to various addictions to cope. He ended up on hard drugs and went to prison three times. He's just got her pregnant again and has yet another court hearing coming up... when I last saw him he looked hardened and sad in his face, like he was thirty years older than he really was.

People get pregnant from one-night stands all the time even with birth control... and some women have cycles that are so irregular they may ovulate twice a cycle and there is no knowing when a pregnancy may occur.

I was in a similar position to you once and looking back, I am sure the guy was a decoy sent by the enemy to try to divert me from God's plans for me. The guy was a manipulator, liar and a user and after 26 years I admit I still do have feelings for him... but I also thank God I said 'no' to his marriage proposal. The pain nearly killed me when I said 'no' but if I had stayed It would have destroyed me.

Then I went and married another non-Christian.. I still hadn't learnt... now I'm divorced. The chasm between a Christian and a non-Christian just gets greater and greater... My mistake? I didn't make a complete 'cut off' from him when I had doubts. I tried to have a "break" when I should have said "it's over".

This time, at 37, I am waiting for God's perfect timing. I will not rush ahead of His schedule. And neither should you.

Prophet Nike: "JUST DO IT!" then come to those who care about you to help you through the grief. It really can be done.... God will make sure of that. But He needs you to take that step. Write a goodbye letter and burn it- since sending it to her probably won't change anything- and don't return her phone calls. OK I'll get off my soapbox now.... thanks for reading :amen

 

[amg0364730]

DROP YOUR GIRLFRIEND!That is IF YOU are real celibate...

What is your plan? NO one get a good married life if one does not want to have sex. Plus, if you want to serve GOD with all your HEART and soul, then be a good obedient, PRIEST. If you are catholic... If not then have a partner that would understand your belief.


But Remember Jesus Christ said: "For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are
eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others, and there are
eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the
kingdom of heaven. Let anyone accept this who can."
Matthew 19:12 NRSV-CE

You can try S.O.L.T. in the Philippines (Society Our Lady of the most Holy Trinity)


SHALOM ALEICHEM

 

[Fembot]

"Lord, help me to become the sort of person my dog thinks I am..."

 

[NoMoreSilence]

My athiest GF doesn't like the fact that I'm celibate.
I want to serve God, but she keeps trying to bring me down.

*Can I still be her friend?
*If she comes to be 'ok' with my faith, but doesn't accept Christ is she still off-limits?
*Why is it that it's ok for married couples to do lustful things? (Be 'dirty' with each other?)

Get rid of her, is the first thing I would advise.
Trust me it's not worth sticking around for.
You can still be a friend to her, but limit your time with her, whether hanging out or in conversation. Don't let her become an influence.

The bible says not to yolk ourselves with nonbelievers. SO even if she's okay with it, doesn't mean it's okay for you to be with her.

And married couples can do whatever they want together. That's why God designed sex to be reserved for marriage, for married couples to enjoy it and all of its..perks...

 

[Mikey]

Her sister just died last week....
I helped her mourn.
I spend a lot of time away from her thanks to college.
We don't see each other much, and when we do, I make sure to always distract her with 'friend stuff'/'hanging out stuff'.
I don't know how to describe us now,
We're GF/BF, but only in title.
I think God is bringing us apart, and I'm grateful for that.