Christ_empowered
Member
- Oct 23, 2010
- 14,237
- 10,721
I know, I'm going to sound like a total and complete mama's boy here. oh well. here goes...
mama's probably the 1 who got and retained a lawyer when i messed up. mama's the one who believed i might make it thru everything i did to myself and that was done to me. and mama's the one who injects some much needed rationality into my sometimes paranoid thoughts, no real judgment or anything.
i love my dad. my dad, though...can be harsh. maybe most dads are? oddly enough, he's a lot less harsh now that The Lord has remade me, inside and out. I need to workout and lose weight, but...I"m a decent heigh! I have a vastly improved face! I'm healthy! Even my hair has grown back, both thicker than ever and (somehow...) a remarkably pretty color, LOL. How healthy has The Lord made me--who once had cancer, once had obvious malnourishment from being too psychotic to eat properly, who was once reigning King of The Burnouts--how healthy, you ask? well...
healthy enough that I look 29-30. I'm 34. healthy enough that a couple of the hair cutting ladies asked me what conditioner I used (its a 2 in one...you'd think the bottle would be overflowing, but Head+shoulders finds a way to make it work...). Healthy enough that my counselor remarked on how I looked younger than my age. and...
God is good, obviously. Mama facilitated a whole, whole lot of His work in my life, and I've been fairly bratty about things until....recently. I'm now getting closer to dad, but...he wants me to be more independent, and he can also be rough on me. He was talking about a group home until mama stepped in. True story...
oh, yeah; the Schizophrenia. That's probably what "the affliction" is, although I suppose I can see why I"m officially labeled as "severe Bipolar I." I base my self-diagnosis on how I seem to need a tranquilizer, but the typical bipolar psych drugs...-shrug-. they calm me down, sometimes I get a little more action on the paranoia than the tranq alone, but...
pretty much, I have Schizophrenia. I'm also now, fairly recently, by some miracle..."highly intelligent" or "extremely intelligent," which is supposedly unusual in Schizophrenia, but I Kinda doubt it. I think, like me, they diagnose the smart people with Schizophrenia with something else...Bipolar, personality disorder, psychotic depression, etc. point there is...
mama gets it. Schizophrenia. I mean, she's not super soft on me about it, but she's there for me, big time. Florence is coming thru our region. I'm spending -saturday- night with my parents, which probably means...mama talked to dad and I get saturday at their house, instead of suffering thru at my apartment.
OK. I don't know...salvation and all...how mama's doing there. She's pretty much deeply Calvinist, in a way that I doubt I could ever be, although I get TULIP 101 and such, to a point. So...I trust that The Lord's will shall be done, but I -do- pray that He -blesses- and -loves- them into repentance. not everybody needs hard knocks to see the light, of course.
ok. Finished, now.
mama's probably the 1 who got and retained a lawyer when i messed up. mama's the one who believed i might make it thru everything i did to myself and that was done to me. and mama's the one who injects some much needed rationality into my sometimes paranoid thoughts, no real judgment or anything.
i love my dad. my dad, though...can be harsh. maybe most dads are? oddly enough, he's a lot less harsh now that The Lord has remade me, inside and out. I need to workout and lose weight, but...I"m a decent heigh! I have a vastly improved face! I'm healthy! Even my hair has grown back, both thicker than ever and (somehow...) a remarkably pretty color, LOL. How healthy has The Lord made me--who once had cancer, once had obvious malnourishment from being too psychotic to eat properly, who was once reigning King of The Burnouts--how healthy, you ask? well...
healthy enough that I look 29-30. I'm 34. healthy enough that a couple of the hair cutting ladies asked me what conditioner I used (its a 2 in one...you'd think the bottle would be overflowing, but Head+shoulders finds a way to make it work...). Healthy enough that my counselor remarked on how I looked younger than my age. and...
God is good, obviously. Mama facilitated a whole, whole lot of His work in my life, and I've been fairly bratty about things until....recently. I'm now getting closer to dad, but...he wants me to be more independent, and he can also be rough on me. He was talking about a group home until mama stepped in. True story...
oh, yeah; the Schizophrenia. That's probably what "the affliction" is, although I suppose I can see why I"m officially labeled as "severe Bipolar I." I base my self-diagnosis on how I seem to need a tranquilizer, but the typical bipolar psych drugs...-shrug-. they calm me down, sometimes I get a little more action on the paranoia than the tranq alone, but...
pretty much, I have Schizophrenia. I'm also now, fairly recently, by some miracle..."highly intelligent" or "extremely intelligent," which is supposedly unusual in Schizophrenia, but I Kinda doubt it. I think, like me, they diagnose the smart people with Schizophrenia with something else...Bipolar, personality disorder, psychotic depression, etc. point there is...
mama gets it. Schizophrenia. I mean, she's not super soft on me about it, but she's there for me, big time. Florence is coming thru our region. I'm spending -saturday- night with my parents, which probably means...mama talked to dad and I get saturday at their house, instead of suffering thru at my apartment.
OK. I don't know...salvation and all...how mama's doing there. She's pretty much deeply Calvinist, in a way that I doubt I could ever be, although I get TULIP 101 and such, to a point. So...I trust that The Lord's will shall be done, but I -do- pray that He -blesses- and -loves- them into repentance. not everybody needs hard knocks to see the light, of course.
ok. Finished, now.
