In Some Need of Good, Christian Advice...

[crazychick87]

So, over a year ago, my sister had a bad falling out with my best friend. All I know is that there were some emails exchanged between my brother in law and my friend. I don't know what all was said, but according to my sister, they were really dirty, and she says she has the emails for proof. But according to my friend, there were only a few things said that wasn't too bad, but she still wishes she wouldn't have sent the emails anyway. I don't know what to believe. So anyway, things got really ugly between my sister and my friend. They had a terrible falling out, and they haven't really talked since.
Fast forward to today. My friend has tried to mend things with my sister, but my sister doesn't want to mend anything. She says she just wants to heal from it, forget about it, and move on, but she says everytime that starts to happen, that wound gets reopened when my friend emails her trying to fix things.
I feel like I have been forced into the middle of this whole mess. My sister called to vent to me about my friend, and my friend calls me an hour later to vent about my sister. It's so frustrating for me! If I could fix it, I so would in a heart beat, especially since they're both a big part of my life!! But since I can't do anything, but stress out over it, I just don't want to hear it! I feel like when my friend talks to me or asks me about my sister, I feel like I stabbing my sister in that back, and vice versa. This whole situation has made many things very difficult, even birthday parties for my kids! It's ridiculous, I know. I would love to tell them that if they have any respect for me, they would quit talking about one another to me, but I feel that if I say that, I'm afraid I'll feel like a bad sister and friend. Perhaps I'm over analyzing it, just like I do everything else.

What are your suggestions, advice, thoughts, and ideas???

 

[Danus]

What are the circumstances between your sisters husband and your friend? It sounds as if your friend and sisters husband where engaged in some less then appropriate behavior? If your sister has the emails, have you seen them? If they are inappropriate then I'd say you might want to support your sister.

Friends come and go. You can always meet new people, but you only have the sisters or brothers you have and those are the better relationships to mend if you can.

 

[for_his_glory]

First of all if your friend is messing around with a married man, even though she said the emails were not that bad and flirting is flirting which entices one to maybe go even further thinking they will not be caught, what does one consider not so bad. If it were me I would want to read the emails your sister saved so you have accurate knowledge of what was being exchanged in the emails then I would confront your friend and ask her why would she do such a thing. After all, it was your sister that was hurt in all of this and what kind of friend would this be to do something that would cause such devastation in the lives of three people. As for your sister, she can forgive your friend, but not want anything to do with her and there is nothing wrong with that as she is trying to move on and you need to stand up to both of them and tell them you do not want to hear it anymore as it is done and over with. It's up to you if you want to keep this so called friend in your life, but you can not expect your sister to come around if she is there with you.

 

[reba]

You could start by clobbering your brother in law.

I have been where your sister is sorta.

Your sister is your sister that does not change.

All it takes is a small phrase to reopen a wound in me. Your friend needs to back off. She is wrong nothing about her actions are good.
We can forgive and learn but we dont need to put our hand back in the flame to prove it.

I dont see your friend as a friend.... Bet she would do the same to you!

 

[handy]

It seems strange to me that you even have a question about this.

99.9% of people would naturally support their sister if a "best friend" came on to their brother-in-law via email. That whole "not that bad" seems like trying to minimize known bad behavior.

Which means that I'm sitting here wondering if maybe you have some reason to believe that your sister is being a drama queen here...

Does your sister have a track record of being over-reactive and self-centered. Were the emails something totally innocuous and your sister is choosing to enact the role of a wronged woman?

If not, if the emails do indeed show that your bff was flirting with your sister's husband...then obviously your sister is rightfully hurt and angry.

I have a bff who is closer to me than either of my sisters...for the past 35 years, we've been practically joined at the hip...and if she were to ever act inappropriately around either of my b-i-l's, I'd kick her to the curb.

On the other hand, if either one of my sister's best friends came onto my husband...and she wanted me to be around her at kid's birthday parties and other family events...I'd feel doubly betrayed. I couldn't imagine either of my sisters remaining best friends with a woman who tried to break up my marriage. That would cut so deep!

 

[childeye]

I judge sin as weakness of the flesh so as to condemn sin in the flesh and not the person occupying that flesh.

There is a devil that through the lust of the flesh manipulates people, and they do things that later they greatly regret. To understand this is not easy for those who have never experienced it. I would pray in the name of the Christ that God give sight to both parties, that mercy and understanding and finally forgiveness and peace may reign.

 

[TruthSeeker2012]

...

What are your suggestions, advice, thoughts, and ideas???

What would Jesus do if he was walking in your sandals?

Before you provide an answer, please think about it carefully...what would Jesus do, and how would Jesus handle this situation?