Hey Maryjoyce, so glad you are here, you can find rest in Jesus. He loves you and you and He died for you.
Your story reminds me of a another woman Jesus died for, John 4:1-26 Therefore, when the Lord knew that the Pharisees had heard that Jesus made and baptized more disciples than John 2 (though Jesus Himself did not baptize, but His disciples), 3 He left Judea and departed again to Galilee. 4 But He needed to go through Samaria.
5 So He came to a city of Samaria which is called Sychar, near the plot of ground that Jacob gave to his son Joseph. 6 Now Jacob's well was there. Jesus therefore, being wearied from His journey, sat thus by the well. It was about the sixth hour.
7 A woman of Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, "Give Me a drink." 8 For His disciples had gone away into the city to buy food.
9 Then the woman of Samaria said to Him, "How is it that You, being a Jew, ask a drink from me, a Samaritan woman?" For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.
10 Jesus answered and said to her, "If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, "Give Me a drink,' you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water." 11 The woman said to Him, "Sir, You have nothing to draw with, and the well is deep. Where then do You get that living water? 12 Are You greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well, and drank from it himself, as well as his sons and his livestock?"
13 Jesus answered and said to her, "Whoever drinks of this water will thirst again, 14but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life."
15 The woman said to Him, "Sir, give me this water, that I may not thirst, nor come here to draw."
16 Jesus said to her, "Go, call your husband, and come here."
17 The woman answered and said, "I have no husband."
Jesus said to her, "You have well said, "I have no husband,' 18 for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; in that you spoke truly."
19 The woman said to Him, "Sir, I perceive that You are a prophet. 20 Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, and you Jews say that in Jerusalem is the place where one ought to worship."
21 Jesus said to her, "Woman, believe Me, the hour is coming when you will neither on this mountain, nor in Jerusalem, worship the Father. 22 You worship what you do not know; we know what we worship, for salvation is of the Jews. 23 But the hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for the Father is seeking such to worship Him. 24 God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth."
25 The woman said to Him, "I know that Messiah is coming" (who is called Christ). "When He comes, He will tell us all things."
26 Jesus said to her, "I who speak to you am He."
The woman at the well had been searching for someone to love her, to treat her special and nurture her. To give her a reason and purpose for living. She had gone through many lovers in a vain attempt to fulfill that desire. She had been used and abused by men who wanted to fulfill their own desires. God says in John 4:23 He seeks those who will worship Him in spirit and truth.
Psalm 34:8-10 Oh taste and see that the Lord is good; Blessed is the man who trusts in Him! 9Oh, fear the Lord, you His saints! There is no want to those who fear Him. 10The young lions lack and suffer hunger; But those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing
You have worked so hard to be good, but all you have ever needed is just to believe.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.
John 6:28-29 28 Then they said to Him, “What shall we do, that we may work the works of God?†29 Jesus answered and said to them, “This is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom He sent.â€
It's not work, it's faith, Pray, invite Jesus to come into your life.
You can pray a prayer like this: ~Lord Jesus, I know I am a sinner, I believe You died for my sins. Right now, I receive You as my Savior, and ask You to forgive my sins. I acknowledge You are the Lord of my life and I turn my life over to you, and ask you to help me turn from my sin and turn to You.
Thank you my Lord in Jesus name amen.~
If you have prayed this prayer and meant it, God will begin to change you from the inside out, He will change your desires. In fact, your desire will be for the things of God. Please let us know if you have, so we can rejoice with you! It is the most important thing you will ever do.
Ephesians 2:8 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, 9 not of works, lest anyone should boast. 10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.
By grace you are saved—a gift from your Lord!
Love, Kelli
