it was NOT WORTH IT

[JohnEboy1983]

Thanks guys.. I will not forget this thread, Ninja In fact, I may have to come back to it to read my own writing when I am tempted by this guy again.. I have a feeling its going to come back around again.. based on some of his recent behaviors toward me. I have to be ready and remember the consequences of my actions and never go back to it again. I think I might have to come back and read my own words and remember how I felt.

I think once we have truly repented and turned from a sin, situations attempt to draw us back in... isnt that the way the devil works?

Oh definitely. I absolutely agree. Well you seem like you are allready so much stronger. I know how enticing temptations are. May the Lord be with you.

 

[DeepBlueSea]

I feel like I am backsliding. I saw him on Sunday at church like normal and I have thought about him NONSTOP since then. I cried my eyes out on Sun when I got home because I felt so alone, angry, and sad.What in the world is going on?! Its been three months now since we stopped seeing each other, I thought I was WAY PAST this stage of feeling sad and thinking about him, etc. I almost called him today but I didnt because its not the right thing to do and would probably not get me anywhere with him anyway. Why am I missing him so much like this the past few days?! I was getting so much better..

So am I going to have to pay for this for the rest of my life? I cant stand it. He seems perfectly fine and happy.. in fact, he is going on a cruise in two weeks with his friends. Apparently, life is grand. Maybe he will meet some girl on the cruise, and life will be even grander.

Anyway, that is all for now. Thanks.

 

[Sam21]

I feel like I am backsliding. I saw him on Sunday at church like normal and I have thought about him NONSTOP since then. I cried my eyes out on Sun when I got home because I felt so alone, angry, and sad.What in the world is going on?! Its been three months now since we stopped seeing each other, I thought I was WAY PAST this stage of feeling sad and thinking about him, etc. I almost called him today but I didnt because its not the right thing to do and would probably not get me anywhere with him anyway. Why am I missing him so much like this the past few days?! I was getting so much better..

So am I going to have to pay for this for the rest of my life? I cant stand it. He seems perfectly fine and happy.. in fact, he is going on a cruise in two weeks with his friends. Apparently, life is grand. Maybe he will meet some girl on the cruise, and life will be even grander.

Anyway, that is all for now. Thanks.

This may seem weird,but I am convinced that some people feel love much stronger than others, in my dating days I usually liked the girl ten times more than she did me. If the fellow you have all this feeling for does not share your feelings it is best that you go separate ways in the long run, of course that does not lessen your feelings of pain,hey I went through some of the same stuff and I am still around.

 

[DeepBlueSea]

This may seem weird,but I am convinced that some people feel love much stronger than others, in my dating days I usually liked the girl ten times more than she did me. If the fellow you have all this feeling for does not share your feelings it is best that you go separate ways in the long run, of course that does not lessen your feelings of pain,hey I went through some of the same stuff and I am still around.

I think it makes sense that some people feel love deeper than others. I am not typically like this. I am fine today, just had a rough two days with it. I will get over this. I have NO IDEA what he thinks or feels.. he is so full of mixed signals, I am pretty sure he doesn't even know what he wants. Whatever, he can go off on his cruise and do what he wants.. once i totally get over this, there will be NO going back to him. EVER. He is messed up... the real fear here is I dont want to be alone forever and I keep (irrationally) thinking there wont be anyone else. Why do we think stuff like that when it makes no logical sense, ya know?!

 

[JohnEboy1983]

I feel like I am backsliding. I saw him on Sunday at church like normal and I have thought about him NONSTOP since then. I cried my eyes out on Sun when I got home because I felt so alone, angry, and sad.What in the world is going on?! Its been three months now since we stopped seeing each other, I thought I was WAY PAST this stage of feeling sad and thinking about him, etc. I almost called him today but I didnt because its not the right thing to do and would probably not get me anywhere with him anyway. Why am I missing him so much like this the past few days?! I was getting so much better..

So am I going to have to pay for this for the rest of my life? I cant stand it. He seems perfectly fine and happy.. in fact, he is going on a cruise in two weeks with his friends. Apparently, life is grand. Maybe he will meet some girl on the cruise, and life will be even grander.

You know, sometimes I have noticed the same thing. Just as I am finally thinking I am ok then something happpens where I realize I am not. This happened with one of my friends who I became a little intimate with....no sex or anything like that, just kissing. Well ever since I found out she couldnt commit and i put a stop to it, it has been off and on just trying to be her friend and when I thought things were all ok I would have this rush of emotion from time to time that made it extremely difficult because I wanted to be with her, but couldnt, etc. You really did well by not calling him...you passed. I just passed my test today also. Last night while I was working I was thinking about trying to get back to kissing this girl again and I knew it would open up a can of worms and confusion, but I was thinking on what I was going to say in order to re kindle the kissing and cuddling, but I prayed to the Lord and told him I didnt want to go back to something harmful and when I brought her out rollerblading on the waterfront and bowling today.....I actually felt ok with just being her friend and didnt even have much desire for kissing her like I was having every other time. If I would of allowed myself to kiss her again I would of just stumbled again. I think by you not calling this guy you just avoided a hazardous situation. I understand your pain in seeing him have a good time like nothing is ever wrong. Well I am not sure when it will happen, but I do know that a life of sin does have its consequences in some way or another. Try not to focus on what hes doing either. I noticed when I was focusing on my friends past I almost felt like it was my past and its only because i thought about it so much. If you think about how much fun this guy is going to go have all the time, it will definitely drag you down. Hang in there. I know the temptation is hard.

 

[JohnEboy1983]

This may seem weird,but I am convinced that some people feel love much stronger than others, in my dating days I usually liked the girl ten times more than she did me. If the fellow you have all this feeling for does not share your feelings it is best that you go separate ways in the long run, of course that does not lessen your feelings of pain,hey I went through some of the same stuff and I am still around.

It may seem weird but its totally true. I am one of the people who feels love at a great level and I also feel heartbreak at a greater level. The women I have come across so far in my life are exactly like you describe where they just dont feel like I feel. Hopefully I will come across someone that feels the way for me as I do for them. I suppose the only downfall is that you better realize you are committed if that love fades in rough times.

 

[DeepBlueSea]

Thank you Ninja for your post and for reminding me that I don't need to go back to something harmful. The whole thing really was harmful and not worth it. Besides, I am coming to terms with the fact that they way he treated me at the end puts him in jerk catagory.

I am closer to getting over this than ever, and maybe even totally over it by now. I am not thrilled about the cruise and how he seems to be happy and fine and wonderful but then again, WHO CARES? I dont think anyone who treats someone else like a jerk is totally happy, anyway. and.. even if he does end up with someone else, he will probably treat her the same way eventually. I mean, if he can do that to me after all the time we spent together than he will likely to do it to the next girl who makes the same unfortunate mistake I did.

I found out this week that I got accepted into full time graduate school and I sent a text message out to everyone EXCEPT him because I REFUSE to contact him after the way he ignored me. why bother? i did, however, entertain the thought that it will bother him a great deal that I didnt text him with the news and he will begin to wonder and see that im (getting) over it.

thanks for all the awesome posts and comments...