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it's been 10 years... maybe it's time to call it

evenifigoalone

evenifigoalone

Fare thee well, Felicia
2024 Supporter
I will start this off by saying that this is the best Christian forum I've been on. I love the bigger focus on fellowship and casual discussion, as opposed to intense theology debates right and left.
I first joined in May 2012. Spent a lot of my time on this forum on the mod team. At the time in my life where I felt I failed at everything else, that helped me feel like I was good for something at least.

There have been highs and lows. Stuff happens. But if I am to leave, I want it to be on a positive note. Not an angry one.

I want to thank Christ_empowered , jasonc , for_his_glory , stovebolts , Hopeful , Barbarian , Free , Tessa , wondering , and others who are not coming to mind for making this place what it has been.

It's been real. I will stick around for a few days, but won't be making new threads.
 
evenifigoalone said:
I will start this off by saying that this is the best Christian forum I've been on. I love the bigger focus on fellowship and casual discussion, as opposed to intense theology debates right and left.
I first joined in May 2012. Spent a lot of my time on this forum on the mod team. At the time in my life where I felt I failed at everything else, that helped me feel like I was good for something at least.

There have been highs and lows. Stuff happens. But if I am to leave, I want it to be on a positive note. Not an angry one.

I want to thank Christ_empowered , jasonc , for_his_glory , stovebolts , Hopeful , Barbarian , Free , Tessa , wondering , and others who are not coming to mind for making this place what it has been.

It's been real. I will stick around for a few days, but won't be making new threads.
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I won't pretend to know you off this forum in person as I can only see what you post on social media .nor do I agree with every statement..that said while cliche as i battle these thoughts of failure .if you have a job and count your blessings. We in America tend to be in a bubble .my life isn't where I want it job wise and other things but things aren't that bad .I bet you might be able to see that
 
evenifigoalone said:
I will start this off by saying that this is the best Christian forum I've been on. I love the bigger focus on fellowship and casual discussion, as opposed to intense theology debates right and left.
I first joined in May 2012. Spent a lot of my time on this forum on the mod team. At the time in my life where I felt I failed at everything else, that helped me feel like I was good for something at least.

There have been highs and lows. Stuff happens. But if I am to leave, I want it to be on a positive note. Not an angry one.

I want to thank Christ_empowered , jasonc , for_his_glory , stovebolts , Hopeful , Barbarian , Free , Tessa , wondering , and others who are not coming to mind for making this place what it has been.

It's been real. I will stick around for a few days, but won't be making new threads.
Click to expand...
Hi Ari
You're a big girl and I'm sure you know that we meet all kinds of persons in our lives.
We have to stay close to the ones that we enjoy speaking to and/or being with, and kind of stay away from those that harm us be it physically or emotionally.

Everything in life has its place. This forum has its place in my life.
It keeps me alert and in touch with persons of varying ideologies but that, basically, believe as I do.
I'm sure you have had your reasons for being on this forum. I remember when you were a mod, and such a sweet one at that.

You're very much appreciated by everyone here and I, for one, will be very sorry to see you go.
I wish you wouldn't, really.
Maybe instead of using a blocking device, you could just learn to ignore those that do not agree with you.
Everyone that posts to you believes he/she is doing you a favor and is doing it to try to help you.
Also, remember that unless someone has personally had an experience, they will not really understand what you go through in your daily life.

I hope you stay.
Blessings
 
wondering said:
Hi Ari
You're a big girl and I'm sure you know that we meet all kinds of persons in our lives.
We have to stay close to the ones that we enjoy speaking to and/or being with, and kind of stay away from those that harm us be it physically or emotionally.

Everything in life has its place. This forum has its place in my life.
It keeps me alert and in touch with persons of varying ideologies but that, basically, believe as I do.
I'm sure you have had your reasons for being on this forum. I remember when you were a mod, and such a sweet one at that.

You're very much appreciated by everyone here and I, for one, will be very sorry to see you go.
I wish you wouldn't, really.
Maybe instead of using a blocking device, you could just learn to ignore those that do not agree with you.
Everyone that posts to you believes he/she is doing you a favor and is doing it to try to help you.
Also, remember that unless someone has personally had an experience, they will not really understand what you go through in your daily life.

I hope you stay.
Blessings
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I wish those people who believe they are doing me a favor would respect my boundaries.
 
evenifigoalone said:
I wish those people who believe they are doing me a favor would respect my boundaries.
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What are those boundaries? To be a little blunt because I don't know of another way to put it, whenever you start discussions sharing these types of concerns as you've done here, what I usually hear is that you want everyone else to only reply to you when you want them to or when they agree with you and you expect the staff to make that determination as well? As I said in another thread and also in past discussions, you are the one with the power to regulate this. Simply do not reply to anyone when you don't want to continue a discussion or don't start the discussion in the first place if you don't care to hear opposing points of view. This is a public forum and when you ask a question or make a statement, there are going to be those who have another point of view.
 
WIP said:
What are those boundaries? To be a little blunt because I don't know of another way to put it, whenever you start discussions sharing these types of concerns as you've done here, what I usually hear is that you want everyone else to only reply to you when you want them to or when they agree with you and you expect the staff to make that determination as well? As I said in another thread and also in past discussions, you are the one with the power to regulate this. Simply do not reply to anyone when you don't want to continue a discussion or don't start the discussion in the first place if you don't care to hear opposing points of view. This is a public forum and when you ask a question or make a statement, there are going to be those who have another point of view.
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Hey WIP, can you take this to PM if you really need to say this stuff? Tryna keep this thread positive.
 
WIP said:
What are those boundaries?
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A certain member asked me to stay out of their threads. I have done so. But they are not showing me the same courtesy even though I have asked for the same in return.
This forum desparately needs a block button.
 
I do wish you would stay. People do disagree on things. I think we clashed on psych stuff. That’s probably because our experiences of the psych industry have been so different.

Any Christian forum will have conflict and the conflict can take on a different form than in other forums. When I first came here some members called me pathetic when I was at an extreme low point. Another time a member sent me a message about how I wanted to be special and such. So….

I don’t know honestly. Personally I can deal with the occasional insult or snark here better than with real life people. The less filtered communication has its pros and cons.

I wish you well. Really. I hope you post again and I hope your life in the real world gets better and better whether you post here again or not.
 
Mkay, to clarify, it's not that people have different opinions so much as they won't leave me alone about their opinions, they want to shove those opinions in my face even when I have requested they cease and desist. And there is no block button to ensure they cannot do that.
I'm not even one who is inclined to use the block button liberally, heck on sites where I do use it I usually unblock people after some time has passed because I believe in giving people chances. But there are times it's a useful tool.

There is stuff I feel strongly about, and yes, there have certainly been times I've been out of line. Not usually due to just someone having a difference of opinion, usually it's more to do with rude banter setting off my buttons and exchanging rude banter in return.
I know I need to do better on that front, but at this point in my life, it's better for me to step back from this place entirely and indefinitely than be around temptation.
 
evenifigoalone said:
A certain member asked me to stay out of their threads. I have done so. But they are not showing me the same courtesy even though I have asked for the same in return.
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I can see the legitimacy of that request if a particular thread is getting too heated, but to request that someone stay out of all their threads is an unfair and, imo, illegitimate request given that these are public forums. If a user has that much of a problem with another user, then they need to report any disruptive behaviour. If it’s just because the person always disagrees, well, it’s a public forum and people are free to disagree, as long as it isn’t harassing.

evenifigoalone said:
This forum desparately needs a block button.
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Does the ignore button not work well enough? I know that with my experience here that God has used it, and continues to, to teach me to be slow to speak, quick to listen, and especially to be slow to anger. He uses it to teach me to be patient and to not respond in kind. In that way, it has been of great benefit for some aspects of spiritual growth.

I do hope you’ll reconsider.
 
Free said:
I can see the legitimacy of that request if a particular thread is getting too heated, but to request that someone stay out of all their threads is an unfair and, imo, illegitimate request given that these are public forums. If a user has that much of a problem with another user, then they need to report any disruptive behaviour. If it’s just because the person always disagrees, well, it’s a public forum and people are free to disagree, as long as it isn’t harassing.
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Mkay, fair. But this was a mutually agreed upon decision, that is now being backtracked on. Also, I didn't even say anything to them until they made it personal.

Free said:
Does the ignore button not work well enough?
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It does not.
 
evenifigoalone said:
I wish those people who believe they are doing me a favor would respect my boundaries.
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Others cannot know your boundaries Ari.
This is a problem we all face when we post on this forum.
We don't really know each other.
We forget what the member said a month ago.
New persons always coming on to the site.

You kind of have to take the fat with the meat.
Can't you just ignore posts you don't like?
Why would they be soooo important to you?
If you can't do this, you may not do well on any forum!
Think it over well.
 
wondering said:
Others cannot know your boundaries Ari.
This is a problem we all face when we post on this forum.
We don't really know each other.
We forget what the member said a month ago.
New persons always coming on to the site.

You kind of have to take the fat with the meat.
Can't you just ignore posts you don't like?
Why would they be soooo important to you?
If you can't do this, you may not do well on any forum!
Think it over well.
Click to expand...
I can't really respond to this without going out and naming names or dragging stuff out into the open. Suffice to say my mind is made up.
 
evenifigoalone said:
Mkay, fair. But this was a mutually agreed upon decision, that is now being backtracked on. Also, I didn't even say anything to them until they made it personal.


It does not.
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Okay, since it was agreed upon, they should be staying out of your threads. I would suggest at least trying to start a private conversation with this person to remind them of this mutual decision. If needed, you can pull in staff to begin with or later on if the issue doesn't resolve.

Again, I would encourage you to stay and not let one (or two, or three) people be the reason you leave, especially if you get some benefit from being here. Another way to consider looking at it is that all believers are part of the community and family of God, so we either figure out how to get along and "strive for peace with everyone" (Heb 12:14a), or, to keep the peace, learn to just avoid responding to them. It's really no different than being at church or dealing with one's own family members.
 
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