Danus
Member
Foresight, is the ability to predict, or the action of predicting, what will happen or be needed in the future.
Hindsight, is the understanding of a situation or event only after it has happened or developed.
As a parent I try to use the hindsight I've collected in my life, with the wisdom God gives me, to administer foresight in the decisions I make concerning my kids; what's allowed, where they can go, what they can do or have and with whom.
Recently I had to pull the Godly father in charge card out for what I was sure would be an unpopular judgment decision concerning my oldest daughter and ability to spend the night with an old friend. I was a little surprised when I got no push back from my wife or daughter.
My wife and I have a long time friendly acquaintanceship with another couple. I say friendly acquaintanceship, because the friendship is really between my wife and the wife of the other couple, everyone else is sort of friends by proxy, but friends all the same.
Our wives where pregnant at about the same time, and with girls. We have photos from years ago of these beaming women sanding back to back, proudly showing the progress of their first daughters known to us through the magic of ultrasound.
They had baby showers together, built scarp books together, collaborated on decorating baby rooms for girls, and planed for the vicarious friendship these two girls would share, and have; Up until now.
The fact is these two families have been and are on separate spiritual paths and it's a path clearly illustrative of the difference between marriage and family with God in charge vs a marriage and family left to it's own self.
When times have been tough for them, we've seen them start to unravel. Bankruptcy, depression, threats of divorce, and acting out.
When times have been tough for us, they've seen us pull together. Because of this, they often seek our direction and advice. We've told them about God, invited them to church, offered Godly financial, marriage, or parenting advice. They've always been receptive, but they never listen. They never listen because the world always seems to get better for them, and the trouble seems to pass for a time. They calm down and go right back to living in the same condition, never preparing for the next round of trouble. Out of sight, out of mind.
They have a 14 year old son and an 11 year old daughter, same age as my oldest daughter. Our girls have sort of grown up together as friends. My daughter was born in October 2000, two months after their daughter was born. Because of this, our daughter is in the 5th grade and theirs in the 6th. The girls spend the night together and text each other from time to time, but their friendship is not natural. They are not the "best of friends', just best agreement friends.
It's spring break right now. We hosted a sleep over at our house the other day and they hosted a sleep over the next day, which was concluded last night. My wife and daughter arrived home after stopping by to pick up some take out for our Friday night dinner. As we sat down to eat I noticed my daughter had picked up some of her little friends mannerisms. The tone, attitude, even the way her little friend speaks it was all there. "did you bring the right girl home?"; I jokingly asked my wife. "I think so."; She bantered back.
"So what did you and Natalie do? Did you have fun." insert rolled eyes, and ..."Dad? really?"
.... Now I'm a bit of a joker, a Smart $$$ 
I like to push buttons, so I asked; "What's that on your face? Where you guys practicing a clown routine? You're not thinking about running away and joining the circus are you" ... (Good one hu? )
It was at that point that I knew from her response that I had a bigger problem on my hands. She says, "Daddy! Really? It's MAKE UP! OK? God!, your so annoying some times!"...now this is not my girl. This is her friend clearly.
I could see the smoke come out of my wife ears. She was going to kill her. "YOU LISTEN TO ME YOUNG LADY......! I placed my hand up to halt the blow up and it actually worked. My wife stopped. I just kept the conversation going; "Oh. OK, because you look like a clown with that on your face and I just thought maybe you guys where thinking about clown school or something. I'd hate for that to be the path you take. You're too pretty to hide your face behind clown make up. What's makeup for anyway? Why do people think they can do a better job than God when it come to beauty?" At this point my 8 year old is getting quite a kick out of me, but respectfully holing her chubby little hand over her grinning mouth to suppress her giggles.
All of this continued on a bit. My daughter getting more quiet as she listens to my gentle wit of admonishment, regarding her behavior and new found persona. Slowly it all dissolved away and our daughter started to come back.
That night my wife and I talked about it. I said to her that this is the last time our daughter will spend the night with Natalie. It's not just the make up and the attitude she cops around her. It's the whole influence. They don't have a spiritual grip on their kids. She is a weak woman, wife and mother and he's not a strong or Godly man. Nice, but nice doesn't cut it. That's the charge I laid out and I thought I'd get some push back from my wife, but instead she just said; "Yes I think you're right."
Then I said; "Besides, they have a teen age son (14) that I'm not very impressed with. Nathan does not speak much these days and he seems tired all the time. What's with that?"
My wife says; "Yeah Sheila says he's been playing games all the time. He's always locked in his room on the computer playing games." .......:o WHAT? Locked in his room playing games on line in his room locked? Are you kidding me? He's looking at porn! She looks at me and says; "you really think so?"
: Kid just got his own computer last Christmas and he rarely emerges from his room these days.
In hindsight there have been enough little clues to end this made up friendship about a year ago, but in foresight it ends now. The new rule is, she is aloud to have her friend stay at our house, but she is not aloud to spend the night there. My wife looked at me and agreed.
Sometimes you can just smell trouble. Many times we are told that we should not judge others. Even the secular world has picked up on that, but people misunderstand what this really means.
What it means is that we are not to judge others hypocritically. We are to judge. We are to judge, and with God given discernment. In the case of raising Kids, being a good parent, we can't afford hindsight. We need to pray for foresight.
Hindsight, is the understanding of a situation or event only after it has happened or developed.
As a parent I try to use the hindsight I've collected in my life, with the wisdom God gives me, to administer foresight in the decisions I make concerning my kids; what's allowed, where they can go, what they can do or have and with whom.
Recently I had to pull the Godly father in charge card out for what I was sure would be an unpopular judgment decision concerning my oldest daughter and ability to spend the night with an old friend. I was a little surprised when I got no push back from my wife or daughter.
My wife and I have a long time friendly acquaintanceship with another couple. I say friendly acquaintanceship, because the friendship is really between my wife and the wife of the other couple, everyone else is sort of friends by proxy, but friends all the same.
Our wives where pregnant at about the same time, and with girls. We have photos from years ago of these beaming women sanding back to back, proudly showing the progress of their first daughters known to us through the magic of ultrasound.
They had baby showers together, built scarp books together, collaborated on decorating baby rooms for girls, and planed for the vicarious friendship these two girls would share, and have; Up until now.
The fact is these two families have been and are on separate spiritual paths and it's a path clearly illustrative of the difference between marriage and family with God in charge vs a marriage and family left to it's own self.
When times have been tough for them, we've seen them start to unravel. Bankruptcy, depression, threats of divorce, and acting out.
When times have been tough for us, they've seen us pull together. Because of this, they often seek our direction and advice. We've told them about God, invited them to church, offered Godly financial, marriage, or parenting advice. They've always been receptive, but they never listen. They never listen because the world always seems to get better for them, and the trouble seems to pass for a time. They calm down and go right back to living in the same condition, never preparing for the next round of trouble. Out of sight, out of mind.
They have a 14 year old son and an 11 year old daughter, same age as my oldest daughter. Our girls have sort of grown up together as friends. My daughter was born in October 2000, two months after their daughter was born. Because of this, our daughter is in the 5th grade and theirs in the 6th. The girls spend the night together and text each other from time to time, but their friendship is not natural. They are not the "best of friends', just best agreement friends.
It's spring break right now. We hosted a sleep over at our house the other day and they hosted a sleep over the next day, which was concluded last night. My wife and daughter arrived home after stopping by to pick up some take out for our Friday night dinner. As we sat down to eat I noticed my daughter had picked up some of her little friends mannerisms. The tone, attitude, even the way her little friend speaks it was all there. "did you bring the right girl home?"; I jokingly asked my wife. "I think so."; She bantered back.
"So what did you and Natalie do? Did you have fun." insert rolled eyes, and ..."Dad? really?"
.... Now I'm a bit of a joker, a Smart $$$ I like to push buttons, so I asked; "What's that on your face? Where you guys practicing a clown routine? You're not thinking about running away and joining the circus are you" ... (Good one hu? ) It was at that point that I knew from her response that I had a bigger problem on my hands. She says, "Daddy! Really? It's MAKE UP! OK? God!, your so annoying some times!"...now this is not my girl. This is her friend clearly.
I could see the smoke come out of my wife ears. She was going to kill her. "YOU LISTEN TO ME YOUNG LADY......! I placed my hand up to halt the blow up and it actually worked. My wife stopped. I just kept the conversation going; "Oh. OK, because you look like a clown with that on your face and I just thought maybe you guys where thinking about clown school or something. I'd hate for that to be the path you take. You're too pretty to hide your face behind clown make up. What's makeup for anyway? Why do people think they can do a better job than God when it come to beauty?" At this point my 8 year old is getting quite a kick out of me, but respectfully holing her chubby little hand over her grinning mouth to suppress her giggles.
All of this continued on a bit. My daughter getting more quiet as she listens to my gentle wit of admonishment, regarding her behavior and new found persona. Slowly it all dissolved away and our daughter started to come back.
That night my wife and I talked about it. I said to her that this is the last time our daughter will spend the night with Natalie. It's not just the make up and the attitude she cops around her. It's the whole influence. They don't have a spiritual grip on their kids. She is a weak woman, wife and mother and he's not a strong or Godly man. Nice, but nice doesn't cut it. That's the charge I laid out and I thought I'd get some push back from my wife, but instead she just said; "Yes I think you're right."
Then I said; "Besides, they have a teen age son (14) that I'm not very impressed with. Nathan does not speak much these days and he seems tired all the time. What's with that?"
My wife says; "Yeah Sheila says he's been playing games all the time. He's always locked in his room on the computer playing games." .......:o WHAT? Locked in his room playing games on line in his room locked? Are you kidding me? He's looking at porn! She looks at me and says; "you really think so?"
: Kid just got his own computer last Christmas and he rarely emerges from his room these days. In hindsight there have been enough little clues to end this made up friendship about a year ago, but in foresight it ends now. The new rule is, she is aloud to have her friend stay at our house, but she is not aloud to spend the night there. My wife looked at me and agreed.
Sometimes you can just smell trouble. Many times we are told that we should not judge others. Even the secular world has picked up on that, but people misunderstand what this really means.
What it means is that we are not to judge others hypocritically. We are to judge. We are to judge, and with God given discernment. In the case of raising Kids, being a good parent, we can't afford hindsight. We need to pray for foresight.
make up...... My wife thought it was kind of funny in a cute way. I think I thought it kind of trashy and it actually scared me. Maybe a lot of what I had to say came from my own fear of what it represented to me.