lovely
Member
Hi everyone,
I have some jumbled thoughts today that I wanted to share. For all who wade through them, bless you.
The past few days God has been working on me about some things, and I just wanted to share what has been transpiring in my heart with my brothers, sisters, and others.
Sometimes old truths dawn on me anew, and sometimes they are not only refreshed, but deepened. This is the best way to describe my heart at the moment on the following topic, and how it relates to other topics.
Belief...the action.
It is easy for me, or God has made it easy for me, to be able to say, "I believe Christ." The hard part for me has been belief, the action. Christ told us to not be only hearers, but doers also. I often think that means doing good works, and obeying God, and it does...but God is reminding/showing me that it is so much more.
Belief is me walking after Christ, being sold on God with all that is in me unashamedly, unreservedly, and serving Him in a passionate and most excellent offering of myself. I am bought with a price, and this alone should remind me that I should be in dedicated service to God, His plan, and to those others who were bought with the precious blood of Jesus. My life is not my own, but I am owned by Him alone, and nothing else matters above that...I am to seek Him, and His righteousness, first.
How does this look? It's a bright light that burns from the Holy anointing oil in me, the Spirit within my soul. A radiation of love that affects all who come near me, and saturates me as a wick absorbs the fuel in a lamp, in such a way that I can't avoid but to burn, and shine in darkness. It's pure Truth, that is shined through love, service, sacrifice, humility, passion, and whatever else God utilizes, to those who need Him.
How can the inside look like the above, and the outside not align? It must, it will...all in God's time, and with God's plan, but it stems from belief, or faith...the action kind.
I am learning that I have developed appetites for things that aren't against Scripture, but are not necessarily God's best either. It takes a definite leading from the Holy Spirit...through my husband...to show me what those things are. I will not list them, because I think this list is truly, and rightly so, different for every child of God. A willingness to be led by the Spirit, even to sell all and go...even unto death, this is believing God, and not presuming to know what is best for my self, and my family, but living in a way that furthers His plan alone. I must declutter (a word made up for mothers :wink: ) my soul at times, and rid it of things like books, music, cares, causes, etc that are detracting my time, effort, and energy from being about my Father's business...down to the point of time wasters and entertainment.
More than all of this, I must believe God, and trust Him in all. I have, for the past month, become very aware of my presumptuous sins, and I know that is what leads to the Great Transgression. Essentially, it is the sin of not believing God, and becoming anything from prideful to anxious, because I lack faith that He will do what He says. Where is my holy fear before Him when I have this attitude, and how can I walk in faith being so focused on my flesh? I ask God to show me His truth daily, but every time I do this in an earnest way, I discover that it always brings about conviction (a revelation of my own sin), and a change in me that is done by Him alone. EVERY TIME! I am so thankful that He loves me enough to teach me, to discipline me, and to disciple me...this is my example for raising my own children to be sure, and even more than that He breaks the bonds of sin in my life, of which I can't do on my own, and only from a heart of self-righteousness would I even try. Anyway, this process, this is the ultimate growth spurt, isn't it? The one that requires major pruning, and guidance, before I can once again flourish in Him...or flourish in Him more being planted in the soil of His Truth, watered by His Spirit, and growing in the light of His Son.
So, I know this really is jumbled, but I am praying that I will be more resolved to believe Him...to learn His Word, and listen to His voice, so that I know what it is I am to believe, or rather how it is I am to live in every moment. I know He will care for me, my family, my brothers and sisters in the Lord, and I know that I can rest in Him, in His loving plan, but I want to know it in my will, in my motivation, and in my steps. I pray that He takes it further in me than ever before, and then when I walk that it is in faith (which is so reliable!), and not in my flesh...by my own sight, which can lead only to self every time. How can I be used for God's plan if I do that? This is the miracle of faith, isn't it, to be led by the Holy Spirit for God's eternal purposes? The meaning of life, or the gift of life, is to be a broken vessel plucked out of a dung heap, and be made whole, restored, and useful by a Master craftsman, an artisan who can not be compared to any others. That is exciting, and if I have an appetite to please Him, I should desire to with all of me, and all of my resources.
A contrite heart that is open and teachable, a prostrate position before Him that causes me to await His instruction before I move, and a dedication (compulsion?) that is characterized by an effort to serve Him with all of my life...this is not only my prayer, but I believe the desire of my heart that God will fulfill if He is willing, and in such a way that humilty prevails, and my feet are made beautiful as I carry the Gospel to others.
I am not sure if this is a confession of my sin, or me sharing what is in my heart to encourage others, or an aim to be more accountable to all I interact with here...I don't want it to be prideful, because it has nothing to do with me, or any goodness in me, but it is a testimony of God, and His work in my life...and hopefully it can exceed desire and become how I live in my alone, and quiet moments, where God truly exposes my heart the most. I sing His praises not because I am going to live for God perfectly from here on out, or even because I even have a good grip on this one simple, yet golden, truth...because I don't. I sing His praises because He showed me this today, and will again, and because despite what I believe, or live, He is trustworthy, and true, and His Word is to be believed. Belief is an action, and I pray to do more of it.
The Lord bless all of you.
I have some jumbled thoughts today that I wanted to share. For all who wade through them, bless you.
The past few days God has been working on me about some things, and I just wanted to share what has been transpiring in my heart with my brothers, sisters, and others.
Sometimes old truths dawn on me anew, and sometimes they are not only refreshed, but deepened. This is the best way to describe my heart at the moment on the following topic, and how it relates to other topics.
Belief...the action.
It is easy for me, or God has made it easy for me, to be able to say, "I believe Christ." The hard part for me has been belief, the action. Christ told us to not be only hearers, but doers also. I often think that means doing good works, and obeying God, and it does...but God is reminding/showing me that it is so much more.
Belief is me walking after Christ, being sold on God with all that is in me unashamedly, unreservedly, and serving Him in a passionate and most excellent offering of myself. I am bought with a price, and this alone should remind me that I should be in dedicated service to God, His plan, and to those others who were bought with the precious blood of Jesus. My life is not my own, but I am owned by Him alone, and nothing else matters above that...I am to seek Him, and His righteousness, first.
How does this look? It's a bright light that burns from the Holy anointing oil in me, the Spirit within my soul. A radiation of love that affects all who come near me, and saturates me as a wick absorbs the fuel in a lamp, in such a way that I can't avoid but to burn, and shine in darkness. It's pure Truth, that is shined through love, service, sacrifice, humility, passion, and whatever else God utilizes, to those who need Him.
How can the inside look like the above, and the outside not align? It must, it will...all in God's time, and with God's plan, but it stems from belief, or faith...the action kind.
I am learning that I have developed appetites for things that aren't against Scripture, but are not necessarily God's best either. It takes a definite leading from the Holy Spirit...through my husband...to show me what those things are. I will not list them, because I think this list is truly, and rightly so, different for every child of God. A willingness to be led by the Spirit, even to sell all and go...even unto death, this is believing God, and not presuming to know what is best for my self, and my family, but living in a way that furthers His plan alone. I must declutter (a word made up for mothers :wink: ) my soul at times, and rid it of things like books, music, cares, causes, etc that are detracting my time, effort, and energy from being about my Father's business...down to the point of time wasters and entertainment.
More than all of this, I must believe God, and trust Him in all. I have, for the past month, become very aware of my presumptuous sins, and I know that is what leads to the Great Transgression. Essentially, it is the sin of not believing God, and becoming anything from prideful to anxious, because I lack faith that He will do what He says. Where is my holy fear before Him when I have this attitude, and how can I walk in faith being so focused on my flesh? I ask God to show me His truth daily, but every time I do this in an earnest way, I discover that it always brings about conviction (a revelation of my own sin), and a change in me that is done by Him alone. EVERY TIME! I am so thankful that He loves me enough to teach me, to discipline me, and to disciple me...this is my example for raising my own children to be sure, and even more than that He breaks the bonds of sin in my life, of which I can't do on my own, and only from a heart of self-righteousness would I even try. Anyway, this process, this is the ultimate growth spurt, isn't it? The one that requires major pruning, and guidance, before I can once again flourish in Him...or flourish in Him more being planted in the soil of His Truth, watered by His Spirit, and growing in the light of His Son.
So, I know this really is jumbled, but I am praying that I will be more resolved to believe Him...to learn His Word, and listen to His voice, so that I know what it is I am to believe, or rather how it is I am to live in every moment. I know He will care for me, my family, my brothers and sisters in the Lord, and I know that I can rest in Him, in His loving plan, but I want to know it in my will, in my motivation, and in my steps. I pray that He takes it further in me than ever before, and then when I walk that it is in faith (which is so reliable!), and not in my flesh...by my own sight, which can lead only to self every time. How can I be used for God's plan if I do that? This is the miracle of faith, isn't it, to be led by the Holy Spirit for God's eternal purposes? The meaning of life, or the gift of life, is to be a broken vessel plucked out of a dung heap, and be made whole, restored, and useful by a Master craftsman, an artisan who can not be compared to any others. That is exciting, and if I have an appetite to please Him, I should desire to with all of me, and all of my resources.
A contrite heart that is open and teachable, a prostrate position before Him that causes me to await His instruction before I move, and a dedication (compulsion?) that is characterized by an effort to serve Him with all of my life...this is not only my prayer, but I believe the desire of my heart that God will fulfill if He is willing, and in such a way that humilty prevails, and my feet are made beautiful as I carry the Gospel to others.
I am not sure if this is a confession of my sin, or me sharing what is in my heart to encourage others, or an aim to be more accountable to all I interact with here...I don't want it to be prideful, because it has nothing to do with me, or any goodness in me, but it is a testimony of God, and His work in my life...and hopefully it can exceed desire and become how I live in my alone, and quiet moments, where God truly exposes my heart the most. I sing His praises not because I am going to live for God perfectly from here on out, or even because I even have a good grip on this one simple, yet golden, truth...because I don't. I sing His praises because He showed me this today, and will again, and because despite what I believe, or live, He is trustworthy, and true, and His Word is to be believed. Belief is an action, and I pray to do more of it.
The Lord bless all of you.
