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Desire to be a vessel of honor unto the Lord Jesus Christ?
Join For His Glory for a discussion on how
https://christianforums.net/threads/a-vessel-of-honor.110278/
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Taking the time to pray? Christ is the answer in times of need
https://christianforums.net/threads/psalm-70-1-save-me-o-god-lord-help-me-now.108509/
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Depending upon the Holy Spirit for all you do?
Read through the following study by Tenchi for more on this topic
https://christianforums.net/threads/without-the-holy-spirit-we-can-do-nothing.109419/
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How are famous preachers sometimes effected by sin?
Join Sola Scriptura for a discussion on the subject
https://christianforums.net/threads/anointed-preaching-teaching.109331/#post-1912042
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Lame jokes
- Thread starter l'Chante
- Start date
Caroline H
Member
Oh gosh, that's lame...
Handy, you just killed my thread. Nobody can top that. :rolling
That's hilarious... Can I use that one?
T
Theofilus
Guest
A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says: "I'm lookin' for the scoundrel that shot my paw."
LaurenNicole
Member
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
A stick.
Express your feelings
Member
This is REALLY Lame.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Why are you crying? its just me.
:O
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Why are you crying? its just me.
:O
Fire_inside21
Member
hey you stole mine :p
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A Roamin’ Catholic.
______________________
So there was a church that thought it would make business sense to go into the flower business. Certainly there was lots of business links between wedding services, funeral services and other functions they held. So the small local church church commissioned the friars and brothers to look into business opportunities of selling flowers.
The problem arose when the local flower shop got wind of the competition and in an act of desperation commissioned local gang members for the defense of their business interest in the upcoming battle. No gang member wanted to volunteer though because of various internal disputes, trouble with other gangs and of course the thought that if they attacked the church it would bring even worse bad press and turn public sentiment against them. Well, that was the case until one gang leader, named Hugh accepted and agreed to pay a visit tot he priests and "persuade" them to forget the entire enterprise.
The day came that Hugh and his muscle men went to church and the priests were convinced that if the local flower business owners felt that strongly they should abandon their lofty goal and concentrate on saving them instead.
All this only goes to show ya: Only Hugh can prevent Florist Friars.
A Roamin’ Catholic.
______________________
So there was a church that thought it would make business sense to go into the flower business. Certainly there was lots of business links between wedding services, funeral services and other functions they held. So the small local church church commissioned the friars and brothers to look into business opportunities of selling flowers.
The problem arose when the local flower shop got wind of the competition and in an act of desperation commissioned local gang members for the defense of their business interest in the upcoming battle. No gang member wanted to volunteer though because of various internal disputes, trouble with other gangs and of course the thought that if they attacked the church it would bring even worse bad press and turn public sentiment against them. Well, that was the case until one gang leader, named Hugh accepted and agreed to pay a visit tot he priests and "persuade" them to forget the entire enterprise.
The day came that Hugh and his muscle men went to church and the priests were convinced that if the local flower business owners felt that strongly they should abandon their lofty goal and concentrate on saving them instead.
All this only goes to show ya: Only Hugh can prevent Florist Friars.
l'Chante
Member
Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica - where do they go ?
Wonder no more ! ! !
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an
extremely ordered and complex life.
The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well
as maintaining a form of compassionate contact with its offspring
throughout its life.
If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family
and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their
vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird
to be rolled into and buried.
The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:
"Freeze a jolly good fellow"
"Freeze a jolly good fellow."
"Then they kick him in the ice hole."
Wonder no more ! ! !
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an
extremely ordered and complex life.
The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well
as maintaining a form of compassionate contact with its offspring
throughout its life.
If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family
and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their
vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird
to be rolled into and buried.
The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:
"Freeze a jolly good fellow"
"Freeze a jolly good fellow."
"Then they kick him in the ice hole."
Probably in the minority here but I like fake jokes. Here's a couple:
How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
One.
A man walks into a bar.
He is an alcoholic with a drinking problem who is destroying his family.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband is in
hospital.
Riddle: What do you call a cat with no tail?
Answer: A Manx.
Yeah, lame -- I know.
How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
One.
A man walks into a bar.
He is an alcoholic with a drinking problem who is destroying his family.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband is in
hospital.
Riddle: What do you call a cat with no tail?
Answer: A Manx.
Yeah, lame -- I know.
T
Theofilus
Guest
What's the difference between an aligator?
It neither flies.
It neither flies.