Pot8ohead
Member
As someone who's struggled for years & years with the problem of fantasizing about others, I feel your pain. It's truly a horrible thing and, if not nipped in the bud, can wreak havoc on you emotionally and spiritually.
Because this really isn't the forum for it, I won't go into a lot of detail, but suffice it to say that I suffer tremendous guilt because of my fantasy life; guilt because - as someone else mentioned in a response here - there's the issue of committing adultery (if only in my heart) in the Lord's eyes, guilt because I feel like I'm being unfaithful to my wife and guilt because I've let the idea that it's just fantasy come to the point where I'm physically unable to be with my wife if I'm not having one of those fantasies.
You asked how you can stop fantasizing about other men. I believe the answer to that is found in Romans 12: 1 & 2
<sup>1</sup>I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. <sup>2</sup>And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."
You'll renew your mind by spending time, DAILY, in the Word. I recommend you busy yourself with your bible and maybe one other good Christian book to help you through the problems you're facing. A good book to help get yourself grounded in the bible is called Praying God's Word by Beth Moore. She does a great job of incorporating the Word of God into prayer. You can check the book out here Amazon.com: Praying God's Word: Breaking Free From Spiritual Strongholds (9780805423518): Beth Moore: Books
I'm not saying this will be a simple process. Depending on how long you've allowed yourself to fall into your fantasies, you may be in for a long struggle, but it will be worth it.
While you're doing that, I suggest that you do what you say you want your family doing and get more involved with your church. Don't wait for your husband to want to join you in that; just do as much as you're able whenever you can. There may be times when something happening at the church might require something that your husband is better equipped to provide; when those times come up, simply ask if he'd be willing to step up and help out. I think that if you do this, he may come around eventually and just start joining you with whatever church function you're helping with.
I'll remember you in my prayers.
Because this really isn't the forum for it, I won't go into a lot of detail, but suffice it to say that I suffer tremendous guilt because of my fantasy life; guilt because - as someone else mentioned in a response here - there's the issue of committing adultery (if only in my heart) in the Lord's eyes, guilt because I feel like I'm being unfaithful to my wife and guilt because I've let the idea that it's just fantasy come to the point where I'm physically unable to be with my wife if I'm not having one of those fantasies.
You asked how you can stop fantasizing about other men. I believe the answer to that is found in Romans 12: 1 & 2
<sup>1</sup>I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. <sup>2</sup>And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."
You'll renew your mind by spending time, DAILY, in the Word. I recommend you busy yourself with your bible and maybe one other good Christian book to help you through the problems you're facing. A good book to help get yourself grounded in the bible is called Praying God's Word by Beth Moore. She does a great job of incorporating the Word of God into prayer. You can check the book out here Amazon.com: Praying God's Word: Breaking Free From Spiritual Strongholds (9780805423518): Beth Moore: Books
I'm not saying this will be a simple process. Depending on how long you've allowed yourself to fall into your fantasies, you may be in for a long struggle, but it will be worth it.
While you're doing that, I suggest that you do what you say you want your family doing and get more involved with your church. Don't wait for your husband to want to join you in that; just do as much as you're able whenever you can. There may be times when something happening at the church might require something that your husband is better equipped to provide; when those times come up, simply ask if he'd be willing to step up and help out. I think that if you do this, he may come around eventually and just start joining you with whatever church function you're helping with.
I'll remember you in my prayers.