Look beyond the outside of a person.

[stovebolts]

View attachment 4868 View attachment 4869

Kid-why do you look so sad all the time?
Me-I'm fine.
Kid-it looks like you want to go home and hang yourself.
Me-*puts earbuds in*
Kid-*kicks the table*
Me-can I help you?
Kid-why do you look so sad?
Me-well I was fine till you brought up me hanging myself. My dad hung himself so thanks for bringing that up. You know my name not my story so watch what you say to me. *puts earbuds back in*

 

[Willie T]

More than feeling people need to be concerned with how I may take things they say, I find that I need to put more into handling my own reactions.

People will always say stupid or cruel things, but they are only words, UNTIL, we assign some sort of meaning or intent to them.

Abe Lincoln once said, "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

 

[stovebolts]

He just posted that on his facebook less than an hour ago...

He is one of my son's best friends and we've known him for years. He's been through so much at such a young age. While we were in Spokane last January for my daughters funeral, he hit an all time low and tried to hang himself and ended up in the hospital. So it wasn't just about his Dad hanging himself shortly before that... although that's partially what prompted him to hang himself... But I think it's what happened after that that's ringing in his ears... You see, he came to stay with us after his event. CPS got involved and took his sisters into foster care. He went to be with them. A week later, his mom comes out to visit for the first time. It was too much. She jumps out of her car coming home. We were there when they took her off life support. He's now an orphan.
His sisters recently went to live with their biological father who's been absent for years. Life isn't fair.
He's been through so much in such a short time. He's an amazing kid and we love him. I am vry proud of the way he handled things. He's a good kid.
View attachment 4870

 

[hallowbonnie]

What a cool picture! I certainly do not walk around with a smile plastered on so more often than not I get the comments"you should smile" "everythings going to be allright".Ive been through alot I have my own way of dealing with things but I am a very content joyfilled person so it kinda makes me laugh inside when people comment to me ,its also a little exhausting .But you certainly are a beautiful family.I have an adopted family of sorts also its wonderful.

 

[for_his_glory]

It's kinda like don't judge a book by it's cover as you might miss the good stuff between the pages. People would rather throw out the so called trash instead of seeking what might be worthwhile saving in it.

Awesome pic Steve

 

[jasonc]

He just posted that on his facebook less than an hour ago...

He is one of my son's best friends and we've known him for years. He's been through so much at such a young age. While we were in Spokane last January for my daughters funeral, he hit an all time low and tried to hang himself and ended up in the hospital. So it wasn't just about his Dad hanging himself shortly before that... although that's partially what prompted him to hang himself... But I think it's what happened after that that's ringing in his ears... You see, he came to stay with us after his event. CPS got involved and took his sisters into foster care. He went to be with them. A week later, his mom comes out to visit for the first time. It was too much. She jumps out of her car coming home. We were there when they took her off life support. He's now an orphan.
His sisters recently went to live with their biological father who's been absent for years. Life isn't fair.
He's been through so much in such a short time. He's an amazing kid and we love him. I am vry proud of the way he handled things. He's a good kid.
View attachment 4870

jeff, I remember this story.

 

[jasonc]

is he a Christian? I cant remember if you had him in a youth group or not.

 

[stovebolts]

jasonc I see you edited your post lol!
That's not a slayer shirt. It's a ADTR (A Day to Remeber)
My son wanted to play this song at Mariah's funeral. Made everyone cry.. It's still hard for me to hear this song.

Here's a song from Common Courtesy, which is the shirt I'm wearing. And yeah, I like this.

 

[stovebolts]

is he a Christian? I cant remember if you had him in a youth group or not.

He believes in God, knows that Jesus died for his sins and he has some spirituality. I believe God is drawing him near. He hasn't been baptized yet, and I don't mean that in a ritualistic sense. He has come to youth group many times. He likes it.

 

[stovebolts]

What a cool picture! I certainly do not walk around with a smile plastered on so more often than not I get the comments"you should smile" "everythings going to be allright".Ive been through alot I have my own way of dealing with things but I am a very content joyfilled person so it kinda makes me laugh inside when people comment to me ,its also a little exhausting .But you certainly are a beautiful family.I have an adopted family of sorts also its wonderful.

Thank you.

 

[jasonc]

He believes in God, knows that Jesus died for his sins and he has some spirituality. I believe God is drawing him near. He hasn't been baptized yet, and I don't mean that in a ritualistic sense. He has come to youth group many times. He likes it.

ok, I wasn't sure. I remember you telling me about him last year but never saw a pic of him.

 

[jasonc]

pity party me and well that is a reminder of how self centered it is to do that.

 

[stovebolts]

pity party me and well that is a reminder of how self centered it is to do that.

What do you mean? Are you talking about suicide? I used to think that and yeah, even GK Chesterton mentions this, and CS Lewis echo's it. But what I know, is that suicide from the outside may look self centered, but from an inward perspective, things can hurt so badly, you just want it all to end. It's like a really bad dream you can't wake up from. In a way, it may be a pity party, but it's how we work though that whoa is me feelings that can really screw up ones thinking. I think that's why a church family is so invaluable. Anyway, I'm off. I'd call you but I need to call my brother tonight. See you tomorrow.

 

[jasonc]

What do you mean? Are you talking about suicide? I used to think that and yeah, even GK Chesterton mentions this, and CS Lewis echo's it. But what I know, is that suicide from the outside may look self centered, but from an inward perspective, things can hurt so badly, you just want it all to end. It's like a really bad dream you can't wake up from. In a way, it may be a pity party, but it's how we work though that whoa is me feelings that can really screw up ones thinking. I think that's why a church family is so invaluable. Anyway, I'm off. I'd call you but I need to call my brother tonight. See you tomorrow.

no, there are demons that rear up from time to time, and often they are small in perspective to the other issues but to me that are rather large.

as you know I have battled that demon(suicide) it is indeed self centered, not to take way the point you made just that we need to see god for who he is and the world for what died for. proper perspective. once I wanted to die for a girl that really wasn't good for me.

the song called November rain is a reminder of that time of depression in my life.

 

[stovebolts]

jasonc
I understand what you're saying dear brother, and I'm in agreement. Well said brother, well said.

 

[jasonc]

may I share this with medina?

 

[Mike]

Jeff, I have to be honest. I can't tell from the typed word what the tone was on the other kid's voice. The way I read it, it was almost as though he cared and cared enough to ask. Granted, he comment about "hanging yourself" were crass and risky, but kids often don't choose the right words. If he had no reason to think the person he was saying that to had been personally impacted by such a thing, I don't necessarily see what he said as malicious.

We're all guilty of allowing the appearance of people make impressions on us, aren't we? Someone who's studded out, with tattoos and piercings is objectionable to me. When I take time to know them, it helps to overcome that impression, but it's not easy. Different people have different levels of tolerance given the life experience they've had. We should look past the appearance, but I don't think it's always very easy.

 

[stovebolts]

It happened in their iconnect class. Its a big meet and greet where everyone is supposed to get together and learn about each other. Basically I told this boy that people say things out of ignorance, so don't be too hard on him. There is no way the other boy could have known the recent past.

I know this boy well. He has a good heart and is drug free. The other boy asked, why are you so sad? When he is ignored, that indicates to me that either his tone was wrong or it was a subject to be avoided. But he didn't avoid it. He kicked the desk. That's an aggressive gesture and its backed by a hurtful remark. You don't ask why somebody is so sad only to kick their chair and tell them to hang themselves in an underhanded way if you are really concerned about them being sad.
It will be interesting to see how this relationship plays out in the coming weeks.