Marriage, Divorce, spiritual devide, Moving foward or hold on to hope.

BIC82

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Some of yall have read my other posts in the last yr or so, but here is my delima. We (Ex and I) have divorced and are now living in separate places. However we we together many yrs and best friends! We both admit we still Love one another but no longer believe the same. Neither of us grew up with an ideal situation. However, we still remained Friends and care for each other even in times we were not around each other. He says he has religious trama and had the desire to help those whom he says "Christians and religious ppl abandoned" I on the other hand am active in my church and want so deeply for my family to be by my side he says if I could just accept his deconversion "we" would be fine as he says he accepts my choice/faith as my way of connecting with the Devine. I know I'm supposed to love him as a Christian women and I do but I LOVE and have loved him though a lot!. He says when he deconverted he did not consider how it would hurt me he only thought he was telling his best friend what he was seeing... I've said before I have trouble reconciling the man I met to the man he is today....I've told him I still love him and we've both made our share of mistakes but my question is this how do you fight something you can't understand and part of me says let go and part says continue to show him love....at this point we know we can't live together and both have individual issues we need/have to work on.....but the LOVE IS STILL THERE.

lost,confused, broken but still caring....
 
.....but the LOVE IS STILL THERE.

lost,confused, broken but still caring....
It is almost the comic portrayal of ma,e female relationships.
" I can't live with hi /her but I can’t live without him/her ! :

To be practical all you can do is to pray for him, involve him as often as is possible in church h activities, to agitate for men's apologetic meetings that deal with the issues he has with Christianity and to be a caring loving friend.

He may come back to the Lord, he may not.

There are often a number of women whose men are not Christian, find them and find out something about there issues as that will help in arguing for a mens meeting that deal with those issues.
 
Some of yall have read my other posts in the last yr or so, but here is my delima. We (Ex and I) have divorced and are now living in separate places. However we we together many yrs and best friends! We both admit we still Love one another but no longer believe the same. Neither of us grew up with an ideal situation. However, we still remained Friends and care for each other even in times we were not around each other. He says he has religious trama and had the desire to help those whom he says "Christians and religious ppl abandoned" I on the other hand am active in my church and want so deeply for my family to be by my side he says if I could just accept his deconversion "we" would be fine as he says he accepts my choice/faith as my way of connecting with the Devine. I know I'm supposed to love him as a Christian women and I do but I LOVE and have loved him though a lot!. He says when he deconverted he did not consider how it would hurt me he only thought he was telling his best friend what he was seeing... I've said before I have trouble reconciling the man I met to the man he is today....I've told him I still love him and we've both made our share of mistakes but my question is this how do you fight something you can't understand and part of me says let go and part says continue to show him love....at this point we know we can't live together and both have individual issues we need/have to work on.....but the LOVE IS STILL THERE.

lost,confused, broken but still caring....

What God has united together let no man break asunder.

Marriage is God's institution: He created it, established what it was for and how it was entered into in the Garden of Eden, and He makes it the deeply serious, sacred thing that it is. In part, marriage is supposed to picture the love that Christ has for the Church, the Body of Believers (Ephesians 5:21-32). And so, God hates divorce. He describes reneging on one's marriage vow as "dealing treacherously" and commands His people never to do such a thing.

Malachi 2:13-16
13 "This is another thing you do: you cover the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping and with groaning, because He no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand.
14 "Yet you say, 'For what reason?' Because the LORD has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.
15 "But not one has done so who has a remnant of the Spirit. And what did that one do while he was seeking a godly offspring? Take heed then to your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of your youth.
16 "For I hate divorce," says the LORD, the God of Israel, "and him who covers his garment with wrong," says the LORD of hosts. "So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously."


If one's spouse is a non-believer and decides to leave because of an incompatibility of belief, the apostle Paul wrote that the believer should let the unbelieving spouse do so.

1 Corinthians 7:12-16
12 But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her.
13 And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away.
14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.
15 Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace.
16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?


As Paul indicated in this passage, the ideal is for the believer-unbeliever couple to remain married. At the very least, the Christian, the disciple of Christ, must never be the one to press for divorce.

Marriage is intended to be by God the means by which He communicates Himself from one spouse to the other. They are to be toward one another "vessels" through whom God displays Himself. When this is the case, when husband and wife meet each other as the hands and heart of God to one another, their marriage is an awesome, intimate joy exceeded only by their fellowship with God Himself. It is no surprise, then, that the devil has worked so fiercely against marriage, diminishing, contorting and dissolving it as much as he can. Don't help him!

In any case, whether married or divorced from your husband, the command of God upon you to show His love, grace, holiness and truth to your husband never ends.
 
Hi BIC82

I see no reason why the both of you sought out to divorce each other unless there was unfaithfulness between the two of you as one or the other having an affair as that is the only reason God would allow a written bill of divorcement, Deuteronomy 24:1-4; 1Corinthians 7:1-16.

You said he has withdrawn from God because of some kind of religious trauma, but he has no problem with the choice you have made, so I see no problem there as who is to say he might never come back to the Lord as the Holy Spirit uses you to help him return to Christ.

With the love it seems the both of you still have for each other maybe all the both of you need is some counseling to help work through the issues you both have.

I will keep the both of you in my prayers :pray
 
Thank you for _his_glory for the prayers they are appreciated !!! Thanks all for your input
His change if faith isn't the only reasons for the divorce it was a domino effect of many things but I can't turn off the love/care for him eventhough my soul is broken. I continue to have hope pray he may come back to God. He has made it clear he'll never return and in fact has joined a group opposit this one's standing and believes he can help others deal with thier (religious trauma) again heartbroken. (for me it was the bare minimum expectation that I have a Godly man while dating....all I have now is a soul that hurts feels like a holes there and all I can do is pray!
 
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