Marriage?

[Edward]

Question. My wife of 26 years became materialistic and left me a few years back, off in search of a millionaire to marry. She tried to serve me with papers and I dodged the process server. I didn't want to get divorced. I have read the scriptures about marriage and not getting divorced except for infidelity and not remarrying. She admitted to being with a man before the divorce was final. Eventually they did catch up to me with a slick plan to purportedly come give a bid on some work. Aarrgh!

I miss being married. I like the companionship, the help meet, the affection, the wonderful home cooking. She was my first and only Wife to date, and is the Mother of my only children. It is less the lusts of the flesh than all the other other benefits that go along with having a Wife, though of course I would be lying if I said that that doesn't figure into the equation also.

Where am I at on this? Am I able to re-marry without going against the principles and teachings that God has set forth? I seek a relationship with the Lord above all, but I miss having a Wife. I have prayed about it, and do not believe I would be sinning to get re-married, yet I fear deceiving myself or missing some key point on the issue. Do you all have any advice for a lonely man? :help

 

[faeriecat]

Mind if I listen in on this conversation? It sounds to me like she broke the marriage vows ... which with my very very limited study/knowledge of the bible is a valid reason for a divorce. I've been told that John McArthur's site has some good teachings on this subject.

 

[farouk]

Hi Edward: Sorry about your experience. I think 1 Corinthians 7 is one of the relevant passages.

 

[reba]

<dir>1Co 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

I agree with faeriecat,, I wish you the best in your search for a life friend.

No doubt you will get a mix of thoughts here. God knows/knew men would want a wife that's why He created Eve.


</dir>

 

[farouk]

reba: Does verse 15 explicitly teach remarriage? I would have thought that grammatically and contextually what it says (as opposed to what some folk might want to do) is that one can't feel constrained to stop the wayward spouse from going off, if this is the person's intention.

Blessings.

 

[seagullplayer]

Edward, in this situation I think you would be wise to seek the advice of your Pastor. You can speak to him more about the details of your situation and he could offer Biblical advice.

From what you have said it sounds like you would be free to remarry, but the bigger issue is; are you ready to. I think your Pastor could help you find those answers.

You are a BIG step ahead of most folks in this situation, at least you are considering what God would have you do! Praise God.

 

[reba]

Faruok,, 2 years of reading my posts and you are asking me about grammar ? get real :gah

I believe it tells us to follow our leading . I don't believe everything is black or white. As in I would not 'feel' right with A tatt...

 

[Ryan]

Where am I at on this? Am I able to re-marry without going against the principles and teachings that God has set forth? I seek a relationship with the Lord above all, but I miss having a Wife. I have prayed about it, and do not believe I would be sinning to get re-married, yet I fear deceiving myself or missing some key point on the issue. Do you all have any advice for a lonely man? :help

Genesis 2:18 "Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”

In a nutshell, absolutely not would a loving and compassionate God forbid you from re-marrying after your ex-wife left you. Be lonely no more, and have no guilt about seeking and finding another marriage partner (believer).

 

[farouk]

Faruok,, 2 years of reading my posts and you are asking me about grammar ? get real :gah

I believe it tells us to follow our leading . I don't believe everything is black or white. As in I would not 'feel' right with A tatt...

reba: I was really referring to my reading of what verse 15 seems to say and not say.

Blessings.

 

[farouk]

Genesis 2:18 "Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”

In a nutshell, absolutely not would a loving and compassionate God forbid you from re-marrying after your ex-wife left you. Be lonely no more, and have no guilt about seeking and finding another marriage partner (believer).

R: If I may say so, this seems more of an emotional argument to justify remarriage than actually what Genesis 2.8 is saying, generally speaking. Genesis 2.8 isn't dealing with divorce/remarriage. Other passages do this.

Blessings.

 

[Ryan]

R: If I may say so, this seems more of an emotional argument to justify remarriage than actually what Genesis 2.8 is saying, generally speaking. Genesis 2.8 isn't dealing with divorce/remarriage. Other passages do this.

Blessings.

This speaks though to the nature of our loving God that he desires for us to be in relationship with others, marriage or otherwise. This is the foundational setting for marriage, and although this doesn't speak directly to marriage, and yes you correctly point out other passages of scripture do that, this is the heart though of what God desires for us. Here is a complimentary passage that I should have included to tie into the first thought above. I was merely speaking to the guilt that he doesn't need to burden himself with, as he would be lawfully able to remarry free from any guilt of wondering whether he is sinning, of which he would not be.

Genesis 2:23-24 "The man said, “<SUP class=crossreference value='(A)'></SUP>This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.” For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh."

 

[farouk]

This speaks though to the nature of our loving God that he desires for us to be in relationship with others, marriage or otherwise. This is the foundational setting for marriage, and although this doesn't speak directly to marriage, and yes you correctly point out other passages of scripture do that, this is the heart though of what God desires for us. Here is a complimentary passage that I should have included to tie into the first thought above.

Genesis 2:23-24 "The man said, “<sup class="crossreference" value="(A)"></sup>This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.” For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh."

Ryan:

I agree certainly about a loving God, indeed, Amen.

But if God Himself in His Word deals directly in other passages about divorce/remarriage, other general statements, however excellent and encouraging, don't override what the direct teaching might say, one way or the other.

It seems to me that it's not so much what the Bible says about divorce/remarriage that remains obscure. Some of the direct statements of the Lord Jesus Himself are very plain and straightforward. It's seems more of a question of having the grace to put them into practice.

Blessings.

 

[Edward]

I went and read 1 Corinthians 7 as soon as I seen farouks reference to it and v15 immediately jumped out at me, then the next post was reba explaining it how I did indeed read it also. Awesome. Praise the Lord! I am indeed thinking that I am ok with re-marrying, but I want to be very sure. Good posts all, keep em' coming!

Ryan...Good point. Thanks for the response.

 

[farouk]

I went and read 1 Corinthians 7 as soon as I seen farouks reference to it and v15 immediately jumped out at me, then the next post was reba explaining it how I did indeed read it also. Awesome. Praise the Lord! I am indeed thinking that I am ok with re-marrying, but I want to be very sure. Good posts all, keep em' coming!

Ryan...Good point. Thanks for the response.

Well Edward, you alone bear responsibilities for your actions.

Just be aware that what suddenly may seen convenient in certain circumstances, isn't necessarily what a supposed oblique hint in 1 Corinthians 7.15 may seem to say; when actually there are various direct statements about divorce/remarriage by the Lord Jesus Himself in the Gospels (as opposed to apparently oblique hints, which can't override the main teaching). I was thinking of the verses prior to verse 15, actually. Matthew 5.32 and Luke 16.18 seem very clear; nothing obscure about them.

Blessings.

 

[Edward]

Well Edward, you alone bear responsibilities for your actions.

Just be aware that what suddenly may seen convenient in certain circumstances, isn't necessarily what a supposed oblique hint in 1 Corinthians 7.15 may seem to say; when actually there are various direct statements about divorce/remarriage by the Lord Jesus Himself in the Gospels (as opposed to apparently oblique hints, which can't override the main teaching). I was thinking of the verses prior to verse 15, actually. Matthew 5.32 and Luke 16.18 seem very clear; nothing obscure about them.

Blessings.

Point well taken. I haven't carved anything in stone yet so I continue to meditate on it and pray.

Back to work, Praise the Lord!

 

[reba]

Thinking about this ... A almost personal story...

My sister was a good and faithful wife, married 36 years. She loves the Lord. Her Ex husband cheated from almost day one... She tried to be all the scriptures asked her to be....When the neighbour kid was telling her grandson about her (sister) husband and the kids mom kissing and stuff. she broke HE went after a divorce she did not and tried to keep the biblical idea of marriage together.....She is not looking does not want another relationship.

( not talking the legal stuff) I do not believe she is bound to him in marriage. I believe 1Cor 7: 15 covers this type of situation.

 

[stovebolts]

farouk,
Widows are commanded to remarry if they have the desire (1 Timothy 5:14) and for the express purpose of keeping them occupied with Godly tasks. Why then would a man who's wife left him not be allowed to marry again?

Scripture state that divorce is permissible when adultery has taken place. What is not permissible is if this woman were to marry another man, divorce him and then re-marry Edward.

The way I understand scripture, Edward is well within scriptural boundaries to seek a new wife.

 

[farouk]

farouk,
Widows are commanded to remarry if they have the desire (1 Timothy 5:14) and for the express purpose of keeping them occupied with Godly tasks. Why then would a man who's wife left him not be allowed to marry again?

Scripture state that divorce is permissible when adultery has taken place. What is not permissible is if this woman were to marry another man, divorce him and then re-marry Edward.

The way I understand scripture, Edward is well within scriptural boundaries to seek a new wife.

S: Actually, the passage (referred to) uses the term 'fornication' as the exception clause (whatever this is; see below), rather than 'adultery'.

Which suggests that in Scripture, what is meant by fornication and adultery are distinct.

Example: Even before Joseph and Mary the mother of the Lord Jesus came together, Joseph was minded to put her away privily, because he suspected her at first, of what? adultery?

No, he suspected her of fornication in the betrothal period before they came together. (According to Jewish custom, if a woman was repudiated before the betrothed couple came together, she still needed a bill of divorcement.) Bearing in mind the context of Jewish betrothal customs, this is the context of the 'fornication' exception clause in the Matthew 5 passage (a Gospel, in any case with a very strong Jewish background).

Blessings.

 

[Obadiah]

Yes.

 

[Ryan]

Edward, my dad being a divorcee from my mother (obviously) sought this out biblically and struggled with this as well. He is the Director of our local Divorce Care and biblically, you are free to remarry. He strongly suggests a book "Divorce and Remarriage in the Church" by David Instone - Brewer and you can look at it briefly here: http://www.instonebrewer.com/divorceremarriage/

I hope this is a blessing for you and the questions you have.