Marriage?

[Edward]

Old Testament passages such as in Malachi teach very strongly that the Lord 'hateth putting away

But I didn't put her away. She divorced me and even though I dodged the server for awhile they did catch up with me. I didn't want to get divorced but she forced the issue and made it happen. I have read the scriptures and I think that I am ok to get married again. I wasn't able to get the book referenced but it's possible, I certainly have time. It's not like the marriage is real soon or anything.

It is very important to me to be sure that I am acting within teachings of scripture and the will of God, so I will continue to meditate on it and pray and read but at this time all signs point to yes, it's ok. Thanks to all who responded and any addional words would be welcome also.

 

[Ryan]

I believe you are on the right path. I still can not find anything biblically that you remarrying after a divorce is a sin, unless marriage back to the ex-wife after she had been married again.

Yes God hates divorce, but she put you away so to speak without just cause. Why should you be forced to be lonely on the account of her sin? Again, I cannot find anything biblically you would be in error of re-marrying. Best of wishes and God bless.

 

[Edward]

Thanks, Ryan. That where I am on this right now, I think I'm ok. But!

King James post kind of jumps out at me. The Matthew 19:9 verse troubles me just a little. I am engaged right now. I felt ok about it and asked this girl to marry me, awhile back in fact. She is divorced with grown children also. I do not know the details of her divorce. I was of the mind that it wasn't really my business, and felt like I didn't want or need to know. I even told her that, and she said she respects that of me.The past is the past and should have no bearing on us. We made some pretty big plans together and I made some pretty big promises to her.

For me to approach the subject now of her divorce, would make me a liar and put me in a bad light. If she had got divorced over adultery, I would be living in sin with her to marry her, as the scripture reads. I don't know for sure. I doubt that it was like that from what I know of her character, if they divorced over adultery, I am inclined to believe that it was her Husband that did it, but I simply do not know for sure.

She is a good lady, and brought up the subject of God to me before I ever did to her. She asked me to take her to church. We plan to put God first in our lives and discuss spiritual matters fairly regularly. But I do not know what sins are in her past. I would not want to gain the whole world and lose my soul over making a bad decision here. I promised to not approach the subject of her past with her, and her me also. If I do now...I go against my word. Even if I did and she perhaps realized where it was going...she could lie in an effort to not lose me. This is a quandary. How should I handle this?

 

[P31Woman]

Thanks, Ryan. That where I am on this right now, I think I'm ok. But!

King James post kind of jumps out at me. The Matthew 19:9 verse troubles me just a little. I am engaged right now. I felt ok about it and asked this girl to marry me, awhile back in fact. She is divorced with grown children also. I do not know the details of her divorce. I was of the mind that it wasn't really my business, and felt like I didn't want or need to know. I even told her that, and she said she respects that of me.The past is the past and should have no bearing on us. We made some pretty big plans together and I made some pretty big promises to her.

For me to approach the subject now of her divorce, would make me a liar and put me in a bad light. If she had got divorced over adultery, I would be living in sin with her to marry her, as the scripture reads. I don't know for sure. I doubt that it was like that from what I know of her character, if they divorced over adultery, I am inclined to believe that it was her Husband that did it, but I simply do not know for sure.

She is a good lady, and brought up the subject of God to me before I ever did to her. She asked me to take her to church. We plan to put God first in our lives and discuss spiritual matters fairly regularly. But I do not know what sins are in her past. I would not want to gain the whole world and lose my soul over making a bad decision here. I promised to not approach the subject of her past with her, and her me also. If I do now...I go against my word. Even if I did and she perhaps realized where it was going...she could lie in an effort to not lose me. This is a quandary. How should I handle this?

If you cannot be open and honest with you about this you do not need to consider marriage. Tell her you made a mistake and you are sorry. Wisdom requires that you be prudent in all your ways.

 

[Edward]

I think you're right.

 

[for_his_glory]

First I apologize for the length, but tried to condense my teaching on Marriage to post in here. Also, this teaching is for both men and women who have defiled the marriage vows.


Genesis 2:23-25 explains the bond of marriage. The two are united as one in the eyes of God. Ephesians 5:22-29 wives are to submit to their husbands as unto the Lord for the husband is the spiritual head of the wife. Man is the provider and protector of his family. Husbands, you are to love your wives like Christ loves his church. This is an unconditional love that looks on the inside of a person and not the adorning of the outside. It is a love with a pure heart.

This submission also carries over to the bed that neither should deprive one another unless it is a mutual consent, 1 Corinthians 7:5 the principles for the married believer are explained in 1 Corinthians 7:10-16. As long as there is love and faithfulness the two should never depart from each other nor stray away for lust of the flesh.

Does God permit divorce; no he does not for what God has joined together as one flesh let no man separate it, Matthew 19:6. God joined man and woman together before sin entered into the hearts of man and woman, Genesis 2:18. When woman was deceived by the serpent in Genesis 3:1-13 and gave the man to eat of the fruit, man forgot what God told them not to do and they both tried to hide from God, but God knew what they had done and now was sin entered into the hearts of man and woman. This is why we are all now born with a sin nature because of the fall of man. Sin soon was found where no truth of God could be found. Mans hearts were now filled with the lust of the eyes and lust of the heart. Man sought after his own pleasures and soon made gods of their own to worship and bow down to. These gods were a way for man to justify their own pleasures.

Even with the laws God gave to Moses for the people, mans sin hardened hearts now turned to fornication, lust of self and covertness of others property including another mans wife. New laws were added continuously for the transgressions of man and this is how we got the law for divorce which was handed down by Moses in Deuteronomy 24:1-4.

1 Corinthians 7:10, Jesus commands the woman not to leave her husband and if she does she should remain unmarried, but in Malachi 2:10-16 the treachery that man commits against a woman which leads him to have an affair outside of the marriage or abuses the wife whether it be physical or emotional gives place to what was said by Moses in Deuteronomy 24:1-4 that if a woman is no longer pleasing to her husband then the husband should give his wife a written bill of divorcement and send her out of the house and this gives the woman the right to marry again, but she can never go back to her former husband if that marriage does not work out or her husband dies for now she is defiled to be with her first husband and this is an abomination to God.

For a good marriage to work one should study 2 Corinthians 6:14 be ye not unequally yoked together with non-believers for what fellowship hath righteous with unrighteous, and what communion has light with darkness. If you are a believer in Jesus Christ then you need to choose a mate that also believes in the faith of Christ. In some marriages people do not enter into a relationship with Christ being the center of it, but maybe one of them come to know the Lord and the other one refuses to have that personal relationship with Christ then we go back to what 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 says. If the unbelieving partner leaves the believing partner then this frees the believing partner from the bondage of the vows of marriage and they are free to marry again.

Before ever getting married take time to really know each other and establish a friendship that consist of trust and belief in each other. Allow Christ to be the center of your friendship and this will allow you to begin a marriage that is totally Christ centered. Always resolve your problems with the Holy Ghost guidance through the word and you will always have a good marriage. Always be opened and honest with each other for this builds trust in the relationship, but if that trust is broken there is no relationship. Love each other unconditionally as Christ loves us and forgives us our faults. As long as we live in this flesh we will sin at times, but when you acknowledge those sins and ask for forgiveness God will always forgive us. Always be ready to forgive each other seventy times seven, Matthew 22:21,22, and not only forgive, but forget the sin as God remembers our sins no more when we repent of them. The outside appearance will always change and beauty may fade, but it is the heart of the person we are to love and the heart will never change as long as the love of Christ dwells within it.

 

[Edward]

First I apologize for the length, but tried to condense my teaching on Marriage to post in here. Also, this teaching is for both men and women who have defiled the marriage vows.


Genesis 2:23-25 explains the bond of marriage. The two are united as one in the eyes of God. Ephesians 5:22-29 wives are to submit to their husbands as unto the Lord for the husband is the spiritual head of the wife. Man is the provider and protector of his family. Husbands, you are to love your wives like Christ loves his church. This is an unconditional love that looks on the inside of a person and not the adorning of the outside. It is a love with a pure heart.

This submission also carries over to the bed that neither should deprive one another unless it is a mutual consent, 1 Corinthians 7:5 the principles for the married believer are explained in 1 Corinthians 7:10-16. As long as there is love and faithfulness the two should never depart from each other nor stray away for lust of the flesh.

Does God permit divorce; no he does not for what God has joined together as one flesh let no man separate it, Matthew 19:6. God joined man and woman together before sin entered into the hearts of man and woman, Genesis 2:18. When woman was deceived by the serpent in Genesis 3:1-13 and gave the man to eat of the fruit, man forgot what God told them not to do and they both tried to hide from God, but God knew what they had done and now was sin entered into the hearts of man and woman. This is why we are all now born with a sin nature because of the fall of man. Sin soon was found where no truth of God could be found. Mans hearts were now filled with the lust of the eyes and lust of the heart. Man sought after his own pleasures and soon made gods of their own to worship and bow down to. These gods were a way for man to justify their own pleasures.

Even with the laws God gave to Moses for the people, mans sin hardened hearts now turned to fornication, lust of self and covertness of others property including another mans wife. New laws were added continuously for the transgressions of man and this is how we got the law for divorce which was handed down by Moses in Deuteronomy 24:1-4.

1 Corinthians 7:10, Jesus commands the woman not to leave her husband and if she does she should remain unmarried, but in Malachi 2:10-16 the treachery that man commits against a woman which leads him to have an affair outside of the marriage or abuses the wife whether it be physical or emotional gives place to what was said by Moses in Deuteronomy 24:1-4 that if a woman is no longer pleasing to her husband then the husband should give his wife a written bill of divorcement and send her out of the house and this gives the woman the right to marry again, but she can never go back to her former husband if that marriage does not work out or her husband dies for now she is defiled to be with her first husband and this is an abomination to God.

For a good marriage to work one should study 2 Corinthians 6:14 be ye not unequally yoked together with non-believers for what fellowship hath righteous with unrighteous, and what communion has light with darkness. If you are a believer in Jesus Christ then you need to choose a mate that also believes in the faith of Christ. In some marriages people do not enter into a relationship with Christ being the center of it, but maybe one of them come to know the Lord and the other one refuses to have that personal relationship with Christ then we go back to what 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 says. If the unbelieving partner leaves the believing partner then this frees the believing partner from the bondage of the vows of marriage and they are free to marry again.

Before ever getting married take time to really know each other and establish a friendship that consist of trust and belief in each other. Allow Christ to be the center of your friendship and this will allow you to begin a marriage that is totally Christ centered. Always resolve your problems with the Holy Ghost guidance through the word and you will always have a good marriage. Always be opened and honest with each other for this builds trust in the relationship, but if that trust is broken there is no relationship. Love each other unconditionally as Christ loves us and forgives us our faults. As long as we live in this flesh we will sin at times, but when you acknowledge those sins and ask for forgiveness God will always forgive us. Always be ready to forgive each other seventy times seven, Matthew 22:21,22, and not only forgive, but forget the sin as God remembers our sins no more when we repent of them. The outside appearance will always change and beauty may fade, but it is the heart of the person we are to love and the heart will never change as long as the love of Christ dwells within it.

Thank you, for_his_glory, that is a veritable masterpiece of Marriage advice. I am much encouraged, yet now have some work to do.

 

[Dustoftheearth]

Question. My wife of 26 years became materialistic and left me a few years back, off in search of a millionaire to marry. She tried to serve me with papers and I dodged the process server. I didn't want to get divorced. I have read the scriptures about marriage and not getting divorced except for infidelity and not remarrying. She admitted to being with a man before the divorce was final. Eventually they did catch up to me with a slick plan to purportedly come give a bid on some work. Aarrgh!

I miss being married. I like the companionship, the help meet, the affection, the wonderful home cooking. She was my first and only Wife to date, and is the Mother of my only children. It is less the lusts of the flesh than all the other other benefits that go along with having a Wife, though of course I would be lying if I said that that doesn't figure into the equation also.

Where am I at on this? Am I able to re-marry without going against the principles and teachings that God has set forth? I seek a relationship with the Lord above all, but I miss having a Wife. I have prayed about it, and do not believe I would be sinning to get re-married, yet I fear deceiving myself or missing some key point on the issue. Do you all have any advice for a lonely man? :help

Hi Edward

Really sorry to hear about your situation.

What matters here (imho) is your conscience and faith on the matter, and it must be a clear conscience before God.
Many will give their opinions and understandings, but that would be according to their conscience.

Faith comes by hearing and hearing the word of God, so it would be wise to search the scriptures and prayerfully seek what the Lord says to you.

Can I offer this scripture for you to ponder in prayer.

Mat 19:10 The disciples *said to Him, "If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry."
Mat 19:11 But He said to them, "Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given.
Mat 19:12 "For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother's womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it."