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Maximum allowed age difference

Classik

Classik

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I was having a conversation with someone on dating stuff (I have had conversations with people, both males and females on the issue). One of the major issue considered was age difference. Someone is dating a girl and the age difference is shocking: 10yrs approx.

Didn't know what exactly to suggest. We could suggest for them: if there is true love then age difference may not be a problem - or is not a problem.

But it seems wierd for such to happen....considering we are in a modern world. So, what should be a reasonable age difference???


And one of the issue also shared just recently (no need starting another thread on it). Early marriage is the best. Female max = 25, male 28; minimums, male 19, females 18


so what do you think? Thanks for your professional answers
 
Classik said:
I was having a conversation with someone on dating stuff (I have had conversations with people, both males and females on the issue). One of the major issue considered was age difference. Someone is dating a girl and the age difference is shocking: 10yrs approx.

Didn't know what exactly to suggest. We could suggest for them: if there is true love then age difference may not be a problem - or is not a problem.

But it seems wierd for such to happen....considering we are in a modern world. So, what should be a reasonable age difference???


And one of the issue also shared just recently (no need starting another thread on it). Early marriage is the best. Female max = 25, male 28; minimums, male 19, females 18


so what do you think? Thanks for your professional answers
Click to expand...

You can't say.

Common sense is a lot of it, though.

The perspectives of late teens and early twenties on such a matter may be vastly different in the decades above, also.
 
Early marriage is quite wonderful. I think at 50 you are totally free...and all your children are already grown (probably all married and taking care of you).

It doesn't seem right to me that at 50 majority are struggling to train their children or are still struggling for one thing or the other.

Mom and dad are perfect examples. Mom's mom was married at a very tender age.
 
My guideline when dating is +/- 10 years of my age ... though that really is just a guideline. I take into consideration what stage of life he's in, his maturity, etc. My wonderful gentleman that I've been dating for well over a year now is 5 years younger than me. In some ways though he's more mature than I. LOL :)

As for when to get married ... that's up to the individual. I do think waiting till late college is sensible, because by then you've done some maturing and have a better idea of who you are.
 
I don't think one can put an age on marriage, it's not physical yrs. but maturity, as in, is someone ready to take the responsibility for someone other than themselves.
 
Deborah13 said:
I don't think one can put an age on marriage, it's not physical yrs. but maturity, as in, is someone ready to take the responsibility for someone other than themselves.
Click to expand...

Age might be very necessary (considering biological changes in women).
 
My mom still looks very young. You may think she's a highschool girl :D This woman's progeny is large enough to form a country bigger than China in population
 
As to the age difference, I always used the guideline that I wouldn't date anyone more than seven years younger than I am. I'm a Vietnam veteran, and I don't believe anyone more than seven years younger than I am can understand my life perspective. That difference would vary from person to person, but I think it is important to consider life perspectives, the eras of history in which each of us has grown up, our social outlook and of course our faith background.

As for early marriage, I'm not a fan. We're finding that full maturity cognitively-emotively does not occur until nearly age 30 in men, 26 or 27 in women. Obviously some people are more mature at 22 than others, or even at age 19. But the overall truth is, maturity comes in the mid to late 20s, and no one should subject another person to their level of immaturity by marrying too soon.
 
I think its more about maturity than age difference. I do not see anything wrong with a 25 and 45 year old getting married as long as they love each other and are mature enough to make the decision.

But there could be some major problems with a 18 year old marrying a 23 year old. So I dont think age should ever be a reason to get married (or not to get married).
 
The poet A E Housman wrote lines something like this (I'm quoting from memory).

"When I was young man, I loved to go to the fairground. But I never seemed to have any money in my pocket to spend.

Now I'm older, and have the money in my pocket and can spend it on what I want. But what happened to the young man?"

People change, and it's levels of maturity, rather than age, which really count, I think, for the topic under discussion.
 
i suppose it depends on the person, but yeah 10 years or so i'd say
 
Classik said:
I was having a conversation with someone on dating stuff (I have had conversations with people, both males and females on the issue). One of the major issue considered was age difference. Someone is dating a girl and the age difference is shocking: 10yrs approx.

Didn't know what exactly to suggest. We could suggest for them: if there is true love then age difference may not be a problem - or is not a problem.

But it seems wierd for such to happen....considering we are in a modern world. So, what should be a reasonable age difference???


And one of the issue also shared just recently (no need starting another thread on it). Early marriage is the best. Female max = 25, male 28; minimums, male 19, females 18


so what do you think? Thanks for your professional answers
Click to expand...

Not all people marry for "true love". There are many reasons people marry. I have a gf who was a mail order bride. She wanted to come to American. She lived in Ukraine. She is "learning" to love her husband. Doing a pretty good job if you ask me. He is in his mid 50's she in her mid 20's.
 
I think the difference age is more important when you're you, in your teens or 20s, than it is later in life, for instance when you're in your 50s. The difference between a 19 year old and a 25 year old can be enormous, whereas the difference between a 45 year old anbd a 55 year old may not even be noticeable.

I think the right age to marry is determined by the individual, but I was 28 and my wife 26 when we married. It was a good time, we both had finished college, and I had spent my time in the navy. We were both mature and ready for a family.
 
Deborah13 said:
Why?
Click to expand...

Deborah13:

Yes, I wondered why, also?

Obviously there is a link to the possibility of having children, but once the woman is a certain age and is unlikely to have children any more, yet
there is obviously no bar on her getting married, if she's single.
 
farouk said:
Deborah13:

Yes, I wondered why, also?

Obviously there is a link to the possibility of having children, but once the woman is a certain age and is unlikely to have children any more, yet
there is obviously no bar on her getting married, if she's single.
Click to expand...

Yes, and I was thinking more on the idea in the OP as the earliest age that is advisable. but Clasik was probably considering the idea of being to late to have children.
 
Deborah13 said:
Yes, and I was thinking more on the idea in the OP as the earliest age that is advisable. but Clasik was probably considering the idea of being to late to have children.
Click to expand...

Deborah:

Yes. And with young people I'm all for encouraging maturity and waiting. Also a related question is, what is their walk with the Lord really like. To some young people going together, it's preferable to encourage them to get married rather than just use condoms.

So while basically I think it's good to wait, there may be reasons why waiting isn't the best idea, either. (Two cents.')

Blessings.
 
My mom and stepdad were more than 15 years apart in age.
 
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