My boyfriend is still in love with his ex

[Pool_elite012]

It’s been over 3 years since their divorce. We’ve been dating for almost 2 years now. He still shows that he’s not over her and the hurt she caused him. I know I shouldn’t be selfish and I should be more compassionate, but at what point is it a lost cause for me? He hasn’t told me he loves me and I kinda feel like our relationship hasn’t deepened in the past year. It feels stuck in place. I don’t really know what the best move is. Be patient? Talk to him about my concerns? What if my concerns are just my selfish thoughts? Am I looking at this whole situation in the wrong way? I don’t really know what to think anymore.

 

[JLB]

It’s been over 3 years since their divorce. We’ve been dating for almost 2 years now. He still shows that he’s not over her and the hurt she caused him. I know I shouldn’t be selfish and I should be more compassionate, but at what point is it a lost cause for me? He hasn’t told me he loves me and I kinda feel like our relationship hasn’t deepened in the past year. It feels stuck in place. I don’t really know what the best move is. Be patient? Talk to him about my concerns? What if my concerns are just my selfish thoughts? Am I looking at this whole situation in the wrong way? I don’t really know what to think anymore.

You guys need to break ungodly soul ties between him and his ex.

 

[Pool_elite012]

You guys need to break ungodly soul ties between him and his ex.

What does that mean?

 

[LOOKING]

Not knowing details about you or your boyfriend, anything I say could be off. As you know, the devil is in the details.

However, from a general perspective, I think there is a time to observe and a time to decide. After two years, I believe it’s time to decide.

Personal relationships are significant. You know you're with the right person when you feel inner peace. Do you feel peace with this person, or are you in conflict?

Don’t ignore what you already sense intuitively. If this person isn’t right for you, let them go as soon as possible. You’ll find the right person if you’re patient and honest.

Hope this helps.

 

[NoahK]

It’s been over 3 years since their divorce. We’ve been dating for almost 2 years now. He still shows that he’s not over her and the hurt she caused him. I know I shouldn’t be selfish and I should be more compassionate, but at what point is it a lost cause for me? He hasn’t told me he loves me and I kinda feel like our relationship hasn’t deepened in the past year. It feels stuck in place. I don’t really know what the best move is. Be patient? Talk to him about my concerns? What if my concerns are just my selfish thoughts? Am I looking at this whole situation in the wrong way? I don’t really know what to think anymore.

Here's my 2 cents for what it's worth. It sounds like he hasn't made an effort to resolve his issues with his ex. 3 years will turn into 30 years and then what??? So I believe action is needed. What some people might call tough love. Talk to him about his concerns and if his answers are the same old excuses, break up completely. Then move on with the rest of your life. God will show you who you need to be with. It doesn't seem to me that the current situation qualifies.

We are accountable individually to the God Who created us. I also get a sense that you want him more than he wants you. In that scenario the only solution I see it is for you to move on if he doesn't make an effort to resolve his issues.

His issues, not yours. May God grant you the peace you seek to make the decision HE seeks for you

 

[Hopeful 2]

It’s been over 3 years since their divorce. We’ve been dating for almost 2 years now. He still shows that he’s not over her and the hurt she caused him. I know I shouldn’t be selfish and I should be more compassionate, but at what point is it a lost cause for me?

It seems like he is already a lost cause.

He hasn’t told me he loves me and I kinda feel like our relationship hasn’t deepened in the past year.

More proof of my POV.

It feels stuck in place. I don’t really know what the best move is. Be patient? Talk to him about my concerns? What if my concerns are just my selfish thoughts? Am I looking at this whole situation in the wrong way? I don’t really know what to think anymore.

After two years, what do you expect to change in two more years ?

 

[Who Me]

It’s been over 3 years since their divorce. We’ve been dating for almost 2 years now. He still shows that he’s not over her and the hurt she caused him. I know I shouldn’t be selfish and I should be more compassionate, but at what point is it a lost cause for me? He hasn’t told me he loves me

It took me 5 years to get over being rejected by a girlfriend, this guy has been marri3d, and divorced and you think he should be over it in two years.

Advice.
Sit down with him and talk about his feelings and only about his feelings.
What does he think about when he hears her name, sees her picture etc.
How does he feel about being divorced, was it his fault or did she divorce him for no reason.
What does he want in life, what are his views for the future.


If he cannot see she is no longer part of his life, you have one option, leave him.

 

[JLB]

What does that mean?

A soul tie is a bond between two people.

Such as a case between a man and a woman who have sexual intercourse whether they are married or not they have joined themselves in a relationship whereby their soul is “knit” together in a godly or ungodly soul tie.


This can be the case between friends or parents as well.

A soul tie whether godly or ungodly is a bond between two people.

Such was the case between Jonathan and David.

Now when he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.
1 Samuel 18:1

• the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David

This is an example of a godly soul tie. David would go on to bless and take care of Johnathan’s family even after Jonathan passed away.


The Bible also talks about being joined to a prostitute because of a sexual union.


When a person is married to his wife, then divorced he may still have an emotional attachment with her through a soul tie.



JLB

 

[RR144]

It’s been over 3 years since their divorce. We’ve been dating for almost 2 years now. He still shows that he’s not over her and the hurt she caused him. I know I shouldn’t be selfish and I should be more compassionate, but at what point is it a lost cause for me? He hasn’t told me he loves me and I kinda feel like our relationship hasn’t deepened in the past year. It feels stuck in place. I don’t really know what the best move is. Be patient? Talk to him about my concerns? What if my concerns are just my selfish thoughts? Am I looking at this whole situation in the wrong way? I don’t really know what to think anymore.

He hasn't told you he loves you? Yeah, time to cut the cord.

 

[Scarmarie]

Hey Lovely,
Firstly i want to say thankyou for sharing your story with us

I think patience and understanding is going to be so important in this situation (1 Corinthians 13:4 'Love is Patient, Love is kind'. You need to ensure that when you DO have this chat with him that your anger does not get the best of you, for you need to take calm control of the conversation to allow your feelings to be told. Allow him to speak and say his points, understand why he may be feeling like this.

Make sure to pray and ask God that if this man is not mean't to be in your life he shall not be!
The Lord will listen.
Trust in him and allow the lord to speak through you with your concerns.

Goodluck sister!

 

[Tenchi]

It’s been over 3 years since their divorce. We’ve been dating for almost 2 years now. He still shows that he’s not over her and the hurt she caused him. I know I shouldn’t be selfish and I should be more compassionate, but at what point is it a lost cause for me? He hasn’t told me he loves me and I kinda feel like our relationship hasn’t deepened in the past year. It feels stuck in place. I don’t really know what the best move is. Be patient? Talk to him about my concerns? What if my concerns are just my selfish thoughts? Am I looking at this whole situation in the wrong way? I don’t really know what to think anymore.

My dear, I think you're his "rebound." If it's been two years and he hasn't said, "I love you," he doesn't and very likely won't ever love you. It's time to move on to someone who wants something more serious with you, who isn't always pining for a past, lost romance. There are men out there who aren't "once bitten, twice shy" about love and marriage. Go find one.

 

[Bruce.Leiter]

It’s been over 3 years since their divorce. We’ve been dating for almost 2 years now. He still shows that he’s not over her and the hurt she caused him. I know I shouldn’t be selfish and I should be more compassionate, but at what point is it a lost cause for me? He hasn’t told me he loves me and I kinda feel like our relationship hasn’t deepened in the past year. It feels stuck in place. I don’t really know what the best move is. Be patient? Talk to him about my concerns? What if my concerns are just my selfish thoughts? Am I looking at this whole situation in the wrong way? I don’t really know what to think anymore.

I would say that he will never get over her, so you should break off your relationship with him, and find a man who can love you alone. Also, if you're a Christian, the Bible is very clear that sex is reserved for marriage.

 

[D2255]

Not enough information here. My cousin, female, got divorced two decades ago. They weren't compadable. There was much pain on both sides. Psalms 147:3. He heals the broken hearted and binds up there wounds. My opinion. Proverbs chapter 3:5. We can learn something from King Solomon. Saying , its better to trust God than trust our own minds. People will disappoint us at times. But Jesus never will. If person repeatedly betray our trust unrepentantly, we do not have to continue to associate with him or her to make our selves vulnerable to him or her. Did the Christian ask for forgiveness? Did she repent ? Best advice I can offer. Take care.

 

[christgal33]

Talk to him about the issues, share your concerns with him, and if he still can't get over her, leave him. Trust in God to find you someone better. You deserve that.

 

[jonathanbrickman0000]

My dear, I think you're his "rebound." If it's been two years and he hasn't said, "I love you," he doesn't and very likely won't ever love you. It's time to move on to someone who wants something more serious with you, who isn't always pining for a past, lost romance. There are men out there who aren't "once bitten, twice shy" about love and marriage. Go find one.

Agreed. Sadly, it strongly appears that you have a boyfriend, a relationship God does not encourage, not anything else. I'll recommend that you ask God to cleanse you thoroughly of your tie to your boyfriend, and any other ties if any that may linger with you from your past, and if and when He does this, ask Him to send you a worthwhile man where both of you will desire marriage in due time.