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[ Testimony ] My Confessional Testimony

sh1ftg34r

Member
Well here's a big hello from Surrey, B.C. Canada. How shall I start this. I was born in Kitchener Ontario, later on we moved to British Columbia. I was raised a Catholic. My background is European Polish. I went and completed my first communion but since the age of 13 I have not been committed to the Lord.

I am 25 years old now. I have done many bad things in my life, especially in my past. Some are very personal but I am man enough to admit to it. I have smoked marijuana, tried mmda. I have done lots of drinking and driving, got caught twice doing it. Learned my lesson the hard way. I have disobeyed my parents. I once stole money from a friend and tried to convince him that I never took it. I used my own hard earned money on prostitutes and escorts. When I was in a relationship with my gf and we were not active physically together I cheated on her with these escorts out of frustration. I did the same to her when we were engaged and I did the same to her again the night of my stag party. Since we have been married the last 6 months I have not even thought of doing such a thing. I promised myself and god I will never go back to this lifestyle. In my previous relationship I was loyal and faithful and I got cheated on. It devastated me. It turned me into this wrecking machine where I wanted revenge. I lost trust in relationships. I would purposely break women's hearts to make myself feel better. I have been clean the last 6 months. I don't drink anymore. I don't do any drugs. I am faithful and honest and loyal now.

I suffered a severe physical hardship 4 months ago. Due to I think, All my partying, loud music, clubbing, I developed a ringing in my right ear. Faint during the day but loud and annoying at night time in a quiet room. Since developing this and being robbed of my silence, I have never been more closer to god then before. I think this was a way of showing me I'm not immortal and I can be broken. I was living a lifestyle of freedom and I thought I can do as I please.

The first three months were horrible. I would cry in the shower. Kneel down and cry to god. I was asking for forgiveness everyday, asking him to clear my heart, open my soul, give me a chance. Give me strength to put this ringing out of my head and move on. Then one day, I was in the shower frustrated, angry, I knelt down and I really meant it. I clasped my hands together and put them to my face. I begged and pleaded for mercy. I cried out against all my sins and and for 5 minutes I pleaded for relief. When I opened my eyes, I felt warm. Something I have not felt for years. I felt lighter. I could hear the ringing but it didn't bother me so much. Then I noticed my hands were no longer by my face. They were above my head and still clasped together.

So I thought to myself this is my start. This is my chance. I went to Chapters and bought a bible. I started reading it. I went to church and did a painful confession begging for forgiveness. I plan to attend church for this first time in years and years this Sunday. I still feel remorse and I still feel guilt for the actions and things that I have done but it's not as severe. Day by day it gets better. Day by day I find myself seeking for answers and feeling stronger.
This is my story. I know it's vulgar. I know it's very sinful. But it's the truth. Now anyone can ask me anything and I can proudly say I said the truth. Thanks for listening to me. God Bless you all. Everyone deserves a chance no matter what sins have been committed. When my time comes to be judged, I hope God can look at me and forgive me. Thank You
 

I try not make long term promises that I might fail at.
Just try and make each weekend, or one night.

But if you try the "forever" thing, don't beatyourself up if you mess up. God neverjudged you the first time and he won't the second. He might shake his head and point some atyou, but he will pick you and carry you when he has to. But that's only if you let him.
 
Thanks for sharing your confession. Though I was never as deep into corruption as you were, mostly because Norway is more of a police state than USA, I can empathize with many aspects of your life. God bless you and continue give you strenght.
 
Thanks everyone. I'm still going strong. Havn't touched a drop of liquor or even thought of touching marijuana or any drugs. I am ready to show myself with actions instead of words. I do still have flaws but I'm working on it day by day. God Bless everyone.
 
Psa_103:12 As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.
 
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