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[__ Prayer __] my dad and me

My dad and I used to have a strained relationship. I mean, very strained. Now...we don't, all because of Jesus. I used to blame my dad for everything, but then I came to the (difficult) realization that I was obviously not going to amount to anything, from a young age. Weird bone structure, whiney, effeminate, snot nosed...it was rough. I think a lot of what I perceived as "neglect" from my parents was just a normal human reaction to a kid they never expected who didn't quite "measure up" in their world (my parents are very well-educated, sophisticated, all that good stuff).

Anyway...my dad's been warming up to me, especially since I got saved. It helps that I'm now smart enough to go to Liberty online and perform well, sometimes quite well. It also helps that Jesus has seen fit to make me more than the "weakling" I was up to recently. No more: button nose, sickly-ness, alopecia, premature aging, sub-par intelligence. Add to that Christ's work in my parents' hearts and lives, and...yeah.

I wrote my dad a short letter for father's day. I thanked him for taking me into their house and teaching me how to be normal. I thought about it, and most parents would have had me sent away somewhere, kept in special ed classes, cut me off, sent me off to a group home, so on and so forth. Such is the life of a "weakling," I suppose. Its not really...unexpected, I guess. With all the problems I had before, I was the sort of offspring who used to get sent off to state mental hopsitals and/or kept in an attic or basement. No longer.

So, its great, and I"m glad that The Lord has done things for me and in the process hopefully reached my dad, to a point. Like...I think its going to take time for him to get truly saved. It was easier for me, because I was always faced with my sin-nature and bad-ness. He's well-educated, successful, all those things...I think he's still at the point where he can focus on Jesus loves us/me/him, but not so much on the deeper message of The Cross...forgiveness for our sins...because we all are sinners.

Sometimes, I think my dad's starting to regret not being there when I was younger, and not just because I have "Bipolar I w/ psychotic features," but also because I think now he sees me as a human being who just wanted his time for most of my life. Looking back, I think a lot of my "problems" growing up were family problems. My parents were working their way up, stressed out, lots of booze and I was hitting an awkward teenage stage, and...yeah. Now, I'm 30, about to be 31, and we're functioning...they love me, I love them, but...I sense something of a gap between us, and I don't know that we'll ever be as close as I'd like.

So, yet another Praise Report. For all the bitter sweet-ness around this father's day, I'm glad to be alive, glad my dad loves me, and glad that we can talk and be together now and then. I don't know if we'll ever be as close as I'd like, and I think that's true of a lot of offspring and their parents, especially men and their dads. Something about American culture, I dunno...a lot of fathers and sons just don't connect right.

Yup yup. Praise God for His work in my life and my parents' lives, particularly my dad. And please pray that both my parents can come to have true, saving faith in Christ Jesus.

:)
 
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I truly love your bone deep honesty and reflections of your life. I smile because I can feel how much God loves you. You truly are a walking miracle. Embrace that and keep giving thanks to God as you do. Our eyes can only see the outward man but God sees our totality. You are a beautiful child of God, and that says something! You are an heir to a Heavenly Kingdom! You are a Royal Priesthood! Know who you are and walk therein. Praise God for you. Keep the faith brother.
 
Amen.

Ya know brother parents are such a blessing to have. The most devastating thing is to be without them or there love. Sometimes I look back to think how different things would be if my father stayed.

I hope one day they will believe in Jesus. They may be helping you in the flesh but, I believe it will be you Jesus will work through to save there spirit.
 
so, yeah...thanks :)

I'm amazed by Christ's work in my life. It is no longer I who lives it is Christ who lives in me. I cling to that verse, and for good reason.

I'm hoping my parents can get saved and change their lives. I mean, its hard, when you work hard, play by the rules, you're successful...in my parents' case, they're also well-educated and work in a university environment. I mean, that's great, from the world's perspective at least, but...it kind of works against getting saved, especially in these days of more outspoken, active, sometimes straight up vicious anti-Christian dogma coming out of higher ed. Plus, like I wrote above...I think being self-reliant and successful and respected makes it more difficult to truly come to Christ, or it seems to.

Anyway...I'm hoping that God's work in our lives will result in all 3 of us being saved. My older, wiser, Pentecostal friend, Verna, she tells me that one reason God saved me was to help save my parents, which I think is what one poster above wrote as well. Makes sense...I mean, I don't pretend to know the mind of God, but it certainly seems a valid reason.

My mother is warming up to me now that I'm going to Liberty and doing well. Isn't costing them a penny, thanks to The Pell Grant, so that helps, too. She's taking classes in putting together online classes (she's a professor), so our interests overlap and we have good conversations about online learning. My dad just seems happy that I'm making progress and doing something productive after all these hard, hard years.

Thanks again for all the feed back and "likes" (I'm over 1,000 now, lol). :)
 
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