About 5-6 months ago I was introduced to a girl by my best friend Danny through facebook. She lives in California. Right off the bat, sparks flew, and we were extremely infatuated with each other.
Our interests were exactly the same, we were both into each others body type and personality, it was unreal, it was too good to be true. The only thing about her was that she was Agnostic, and I was a Christian, I was willing to look past that since it was my first serious relationship. She is 20 years old btw.
She had been in a nearly abusive relationship before being with me. I was everything he wasn't and more. I went to visit her shortly after I met her, we quickly fell in love. I broke under pressure and had sex with her, we quickly knew we were meant for each other, extremely in love, spitting out words like forever and such.
I went back home and a few months after went to visit her again, things were amazing. We were so comfortable and happy together. After returning home we missed each other terribly, and we would talk about plans for her to move in.
She promised to move in during the summer. So I banked on that. Eventually she said she didnt know if she could do it or not (she has extreme anxiety problems) I became scared and worried. We started having problems, I started to pressure her more and more to visit (my first relationship, I dont know what im doing lol)
I decided to tell her it wasnt working, I was hoping it would get her to make some changes, I figured if she loved me as much as she said she did she would have did something drastic. The next day all during work I couldn't stop thinking about her, constant thoughts of her saying "I love you!!" would flood my head. I realized I made a terrible mistake and I was afraid I could lose her forever.
I called her the next day and I said I understood her situation and her anxiety making her unable to visit me or go through with our plans and the controlling situation her mom had her in, and that I was willing to wait forever. I asked her to forgive me and come back to me and she said she had to think about it.
Days and weeks past, I begged her back and became needy, exactly what pushes a girl away. Eventually she said it wasnt going to work. I asked why and she said she needed to tell me something.
Apparently a girl that she has wanted to be with for several years confessed to her when we were broken off for a short time. She left me for this girl. They've never met, but they have known each other for 10 years, they have such a strong bond/friendship its rediculous.
My ex has never been interested in girls, she thinks they are disgusting, she is completely straight. But she talks as if this girl is the only girl she would ever date. She doesn't even care about gender at this point, its much more than that to her.
I was devastated, it destroyed my heart, I became unable to do the simplest tasks, basically broken heart syndrome. I cried to get her back, begged her, everything. She wanted to be with this girl. I couldnt accept that it was real.
She wanted to stay friends, I wanted to stay friends as well, but after several weeks and a final goodbye I stopped contact with her. I had to block her so I couldn't see her profile or anything to do with her. She was pissed that I did that but talking to her made my heartrate go up to 160 and my chest tighten up with pain.
I am now closer to God than ever before, I am reading scripture on my own for the very first time, and I think it was a great learning experience. I dont think I could be with a non-Christian again.
After calming down and moving on, I feel as though she is going down a path I can't save her from. She is going far from the path of God and I feel like there is nothing I can do to save her.
I will always care for her, even if im not with her technically. I pray for her everyday, I dont know what else I can do for her...
Our interests were exactly the same, we were both into each others body type and personality, it was unreal, it was too good to be true. The only thing about her was that she was Agnostic, and I was a Christian, I was willing to look past that since it was my first serious relationship. She is 20 years old btw.
She had been in a nearly abusive relationship before being with me. I was everything he wasn't and more. I went to visit her shortly after I met her, we quickly fell in love. I broke under pressure and had sex with her, we quickly knew we were meant for each other, extremely in love, spitting out words like forever and such.
I went back home and a few months after went to visit her again, things were amazing. We were so comfortable and happy together. After returning home we missed each other terribly, and we would talk about plans for her to move in.
She promised to move in during the summer. So I banked on that. Eventually she said she didnt know if she could do it or not (she has extreme anxiety problems) I became scared and worried. We started having problems, I started to pressure her more and more to visit (my first relationship, I dont know what im doing lol)
I decided to tell her it wasnt working, I was hoping it would get her to make some changes, I figured if she loved me as much as she said she did she would have did something drastic. The next day all during work I couldn't stop thinking about her, constant thoughts of her saying "I love you!!" would flood my head. I realized I made a terrible mistake and I was afraid I could lose her forever.
I called her the next day and I said I understood her situation and her anxiety making her unable to visit me or go through with our plans and the controlling situation her mom had her in, and that I was willing to wait forever. I asked her to forgive me and come back to me and she said she had to think about it.
Days and weeks past, I begged her back and became needy, exactly what pushes a girl away. Eventually she said it wasnt going to work. I asked why and she said she needed to tell me something.
Apparently a girl that she has wanted to be with for several years confessed to her when we were broken off for a short time. She left me for this girl. They've never met, but they have known each other for 10 years, they have such a strong bond/friendship its rediculous.
My ex has never been interested in girls, she thinks they are disgusting, she is completely straight. But she talks as if this girl is the only girl she would ever date. She doesn't even care about gender at this point, its much more than that to her.
I was devastated, it destroyed my heart, I became unable to do the simplest tasks, basically broken heart syndrome. I cried to get her back, begged her, everything. She wanted to be with this girl. I couldnt accept that it was real.
She wanted to stay friends, I wanted to stay friends as well, but after several weeks and a final goodbye I stopped contact with her. I had to block her so I couldn't see her profile or anything to do with her. She was pissed that I did that but talking to her made my heartrate go up to 160 and my chest tighten up with pain.
I am now closer to God than ever before, I am reading scripture on my own for the very first time, and I think it was a great learning experience. I dont think I could be with a non-Christian again.
After calming down and moving on, I feel as though she is going down a path I can't save her from. She is going far from the path of God and I feel like there is nothing I can do to save her.
I will always care for her, even if im not with her technically. I pray for her everyday, I dont know what else I can do for her...
