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My peak fitness phase

humble soul

humble soul

On Sabbatical from Rome
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Aged 33. Look out Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt.
I had a great body. And a cool haircut. And some cool clothes thanks to my girlfriend choosing for me.
I loved mirrors. At the gym, passing shopping centre full length mirrors, in the bathroom.
I was too cool for God. I didn't need him. I discovered self worship. I was the centre of the Universe.
On the surface I was the envy of my family and friends. Well paid job, annual vacations to exotic locations, a conneissier of good music and new exciting night life spots. A girlfriend who boosted my ego.
Scratch the surface however. And the vessel was empty. Hollow. Tip one card over, and the whole lot fell down. As did happen in 1996. When I lost my job. And exposed the fragility inside. I was an imposter. fake success. Fake confidence. I slowly came to realise that I needed substance not style. I needed God. I was actually God dependant. But my ego had fooled me in to thinking I was God.
Do you think I still have residue of that egomania?
 
humble soul said:
Aged 33. Look out Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt.
I had a great body. And a cool haircut. And some cool clothes thanks to my girlfriend choosing for me.
I loved mirrors. At the gym, passing shopping centre full length mirrors, in the bathroom.
I was too cool for God. I didn't need him. I discovered self worship. I was the centre of the Universe.
On the surface I was the envy of my family and friends. Well paid job, annual vacations to exotic locations, a conneissier of good music and new exciting night life spots. A girlfriend who boosted my ego.
Scratch the surface however. And the vessel was empty. Hollow. Tip one card over, and the whole lot fell down. As did happen in 1996. When I lost my job. And exposed the fragility inside. I was an imposter. fake success. Fake confidence. I slowly came to realise that I needed substance not style. I needed God. I was actually God dependant. But my ego had fooled me in to thinking I was God.
Do you think I still have residue of that egomania?
Click to expand...
Probably.. we all do, to some degree. This is to me on top of the destruction of humanity. Our own ego..
Pride..
"The empty vessels make the loudest sounds"
At the same time tho.. just to mention. One person i respect highly is one of the most egotistical persons i know...
Go figure..
Was it all fake? ?
 
The difference between my former self and now is my narcissism has changed into an online version. I'm just as sinful but perhaps I'm more aware of it. I need God. I'm useless without Him.
 
humble soul said:
The difference between my former self and now is my narcissism has changed into an online version. I'm just as sinful but perhaps I'm more aware of it. I need God. I'm useless without Him.
Click to expand...
Me too..
This is a lot more to me than a 300 words post with a lot of scriptures used easily and thoughtless.
I guess i dont know everything, but I know some things...:)
 
humble soul said:
The difference between my former self and now is my narcissism has changed into an online version. I'm just as sinful but perhaps I'm more aware of it. I need God. I'm useless without Him.
Click to expand...
Do you read books Humble?
 
That was a joke
I like Kierkegaard by the way. Is he from Norway?
 
humble soul said:
Aged 33. Look out Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt.
I had a great body. And a cool haircut. And some cool clothes thanks to my girlfriend choosing for me.
I loved mirrors. At the gym, passing shopping centre full length mirrors, in the bathroom.
I was too cool for God. I didn't need him. I discovered self worship. I was the centre of the Universe.
On the surface I was the envy of my family and friends. Well paid job, annual vacations to exotic locations, a conneissier of good music and new exciting night life spots. A girlfriend who boosted my ego.
Scratch the surface however. And the vessel was empty. Hollow. Tip one card over, and the whole lot fell down. As did happen in 1996. When I lost my job. And exposed the fragility inside. I was an imposter. fake success. Fake confidence. I slowly came to realise that I needed substance not style. I needed God. I was actually God dependant. But my ego had fooled me in to thinking I was God.
Do you think I still have residue of that egomania?
Click to expand...
Not if you are a new creature.
You only have the memories of that which was crucified with Christ. (Rom 6:3-7, Gal 5:24)
 
humble soul said:
Good question.
I was ticking some boxes. I was more cheerful. More optimistic. But more likely to be dishonest, disloyal and immoral.
Click to expand...
I understand and see this.. does it mean that we can't handle prosperity?
More inclined i think.. we know this.,
Do you think a person can experience all the good parts of life without falling into pride and self lovers?
Hmmm. I wonder..
 
Link1983 said:
Do you think a person can experience all the good parts of life without falling into pride and self lovers?
Click to expand...
That's a good question too. I wasn't suited to success. It went to my head. I became too complacent/ foolish.
Some people stay humble despite success. That's the benchmark I guess.
 
humble soul said:
That's a good question too. I wasn't suited to success. It went to my head. I became too complacent/ foolish.
Some people stay humble despite success. That's the benchmark I guess.
Click to expand...
Thats interesting. Those who do that...
 
I'm reading "sickness unto death" by Kierkegaard.
There is a snobbery to all this I know. I have to watch that.
 
humble soul said:
The difference between my former self and now is my narcissism has changed into an online version. I'm just as sinful but perhaps I'm more aware of it. I need God. I'm useless without Him.
Click to expand...
I thought Christians were to be washed from their sins and not committing them anymore?
 
humble soul said:
Brothers Karamazov Dostoyevsky.
Click to expand...
Interesting works.. also like some of Tolstoj.
But by the risk of sounding narrow maybe. I like John Bunyan.
But I am not afraid of secular culture as long as I find something worth the while.
 
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