Luminous_Rose
CF Ambassador
- Jul 1, 2018
- 2,070
- 2,664
You know, I love to hear testimonies and when I have thought about it, I've never really told my own. It almost terrifies me to tell it, but I have been so reserved over the years about certain details for fear of judgement. I hope I can gain the courage to one day tell my own testimony and hopefully help lead others to Christ. I think the only person I have honestly confided in is my husband when it comes to my testimony. I know that testimonies are such a powerful tool and they can help us relate to others. Sometimes a testimony is all it takes to start leading another in the right direction, towards Christ. Perhaps here is a good place to start. Bear with me, it's a bit long:
I was born into a family that attended a Church of Christ - I went there even before I remembered. I had a skewed idea of what church was honestly about. As a child, it was about seeing my best friends and coloring/drawing throughout the service and then hoping I could hang out with them all afternoon. When I got old enough that my parents felt I should be listening to the sermon instead of drawing, it seemed interesting at first. By the time I was a teenager, I felt I understood quite a bit or at least enough about what Jesus did for us that I made the decision to be baptized when I was 13. I can say that it was the most amazing feeling. I was baptized in the church baptistry during the youth study. My father baptized me and I remember walking into the water and it was the COLDEST water ever. The elder/owner of that church told me after lunch (before youth study) that, "It takes about 4 hours for that water to heat up for the baptistry. We can do it later if you would like. Otherwise, it will be cold - I must warn you." I didn't care if it was cold, that wasn't an issue in my mind. When my father asked me if I believed that Jesus Christ was my Savior and the Son of the Living God, I was happy to say, "Yes!" through the shivers I was trying to hide from my peers. When I went down it was cold, but felt like it was longer than just going down and coming up, maybe it was the cold or just that awesome moment. When I came up out of the water, it felt that angels had lifted a coat of pure burden from me and I was a million times lighter. It was such an uplifting feeling that I can't explain. These days I can completely explain and say that it was without doubt The Holy Spirit moving through me. I felt so sure of following God and holding tight as he used me for the plan He had for my life. I had a strong sense of peace.
It seemed that after a couple weeks, darkness crept into my life. I can't explain it exactly because it's not like a dark event happened around that time. Perhaps it became hassle going to church, and it became a place I despised and I wasn't sure why. My mom especially acted like we had to be perfect to attend service (clothes washed the night before, no wrinkles, and we must shower the night before - not dumb rules, but if there were a couple wrinkles she didn't like even after clothing we de-wrinkled, it would mean getting yelled at). I remember my sister had a cold and couldn't stop sniveling and on the drive to church, my mom stomped on her breaks when my sister sniffed a few times and said, "That is so annoying in church!" She turned the car around, dropped my sister off, and said since she wasn't well enough to attend service she couldn't do anything the rest of the day. It was awful, it felt like darkness had really made a home at our house where there was a lot of fighting between me and my siblings...a lot of yelling between us and our parents. It felt difficult to be at home. Darkness smiled upon those times.
By the time I hit high school, I became depressed. I had a medical diagnosis for a seizure disorder a few years before I got baptized, and it wasn't under control until the end of my high school years. It was hard to make friends and I was seeing doctors, doing tests, and felt fatigued all the time. I did not feel like hanging out with friends. The medical diagnosis changed my life, and of course without a doubt, was scary. There were weekends where I was spending the whole time recovering from a seizure that I tried to hide from everybody. I was ashamed. There was a time where I made friends my freshman year, and then I had an epileptic seizure in front of them. I thank God for protecting me that day. I had a seizure a few feet away from the nurse's office and I am thankful I did not have to watch what happened. I was also wearing my backpack, which I am thankful for because when I fell backwards, I didn't hit my head (this is the only time I can be thankful for all those heavy high school books). I must have frightened my friend because she did not talk to me again.
I was born into a family that attended a Church of Christ - I went there even before I remembered. I had a skewed idea of what church was honestly about. As a child, it was about seeing my best friends and coloring/drawing throughout the service and then hoping I could hang out with them all afternoon. When I got old enough that my parents felt I should be listening to the sermon instead of drawing, it seemed interesting at first. By the time I was a teenager, I felt I understood quite a bit or at least enough about what Jesus did for us that I made the decision to be baptized when I was 13. I can say that it was the most amazing feeling. I was baptized in the church baptistry during the youth study. My father baptized me and I remember walking into the water and it was the COLDEST water ever. The elder/owner of that church told me after lunch (before youth study) that, "It takes about 4 hours for that water to heat up for the baptistry. We can do it later if you would like. Otherwise, it will be cold - I must warn you." I didn't care if it was cold, that wasn't an issue in my mind. When my father asked me if I believed that Jesus Christ was my Savior and the Son of the Living God, I was happy to say, "Yes!" through the shivers I was trying to hide from my peers. When I went down it was cold, but felt like it was longer than just going down and coming up, maybe it was the cold or just that awesome moment. When I came up out of the water, it felt that angels had lifted a coat of pure burden from me and I was a million times lighter. It was such an uplifting feeling that I can't explain. These days I can completely explain and say that it was without doubt The Holy Spirit moving through me. I felt so sure of following God and holding tight as he used me for the plan He had for my life. I had a strong sense of peace.
It seemed that after a couple weeks, darkness crept into my life. I can't explain it exactly because it's not like a dark event happened around that time. Perhaps it became hassle going to church, and it became a place I despised and I wasn't sure why. My mom especially acted like we had to be perfect to attend service (clothes washed the night before, no wrinkles, and we must shower the night before - not dumb rules, but if there were a couple wrinkles she didn't like even after clothing we de-wrinkled, it would mean getting yelled at). I remember my sister had a cold and couldn't stop sniveling and on the drive to church, my mom stomped on her breaks when my sister sniffed a few times and said, "That is so annoying in church!" She turned the car around, dropped my sister off, and said since she wasn't well enough to attend service she couldn't do anything the rest of the day. It was awful, it felt like darkness had really made a home at our house where there was a lot of fighting between me and my siblings...a lot of yelling between us and our parents. It felt difficult to be at home. Darkness smiled upon those times.
By the time I hit high school, I became depressed. I had a medical diagnosis for a seizure disorder a few years before I got baptized, and it wasn't under control until the end of my high school years. It was hard to make friends and I was seeing doctors, doing tests, and felt fatigued all the time. I did not feel like hanging out with friends. The medical diagnosis changed my life, and of course without a doubt, was scary. There were weekends where I was spending the whole time recovering from a seizure that I tried to hide from everybody. I was ashamed. There was a time where I made friends my freshman year, and then I had an epileptic seizure in front of them. I thank God for protecting me that day. I had a seizure a few feet away from the nurse's office and I am thankful I did not have to watch what happened. I was also wearing my backpack, which I am thankful for because when I fell backwards, I didn't hit my head (this is the only time I can be thankful for all those heavy high school books). I must have frightened my friend because she did not talk to me again.
