Need some help-Marriage

[mmckibben]

I'm trying everyday to learn more about our God and becoming a better Christian. I have one big issue I'm struggling with. A little history first. I was married for almost 30 years, and my now ex asked for a divorce. I didn't want it, but I didn't have a choice. I said I would never be with someone again. Three years later and I'm in love. We have talked about marriage. However, I get help with my medical insurance through the state. If I get married, I will lose it. I've looked into going ahead and getting insurance on my own. It's so expensive. It also doesn't cover all of my medications. I have some medical conditions that require expensive medications. I would have to pay for the insurance and almost $2000 for just two of my medications. I have 5 others that aren't expensive and are covered. We've asked God to bless our union, but I just don't feel that is what God would want. Are there some bible verses that would guide me? Is it possible to get married under God's eyes without government interference? Thank you and God bless

 

[WIP]

I do not know for sure but based on your opening post I suspect you are getting insurance coverage through a government social program and you're asking if it is okay to manipulate things to your financial advantage. I would have to wrestle with the morality of that for one thing.

I'm going off of my assumption so forgive me if I'm wrong but I think too often we think government help comes from the government and doesn't affect others but here in the US when we accept government help and/or support that help isn't coming from some obscure entity we call government but is actually coming from our neighbors and friends and so we need to ask ourselves if what we are doing is right.

I'm no stranger to this dilemma. There was a time in my life when I needed help and got it in the form of "welfare" as in monthly financial assistance, home heating fuel assistance, food stamps, medical assistance, housing assistance, and so forth and I'll be forever grateful to the citizens of Minnesota for helping me through those tough times.

In response to that situation I believed it was prudent for me to do everything in my power to not give up and get myself back into being a productive member of society and not remain as a burden and I accomplished that after about two years during a time when the country as a whole was experiencing a recession and the area I lived, Minnestoa's iron range, was experiencing a depression with over 25% unemployment. I'll never forget the joy I felt when I declared, "I get to pay taxes this year!" Truthfully and hard to believe but I actually said that.

Does your potential future spouse have insurance that could cover you both? If so, depending on the insurance plan, the cost in premiums may or may not increase. If you do decide to get married, what effect would that have on your financial picture, and could you still make ends meet?

You have to determine your priorities. If getting married would put you both into financial ruin, would it be worth it or could you manage things such that you could make it work? It may require some sacrifices but that's what you need to talk about with this individual.

Just my .

 

[mmckibben]

Thank you for your response. I don't feel I'm a burden on society, as I only get help with medical. I am able to take care of myself otherwise. Just health insurance is killing me. My boyfriend does not have insurance. He is retired.

 

[TheWordIsOne]

I'm trying everyday to learn more about our God and becoming a better Christian. I have one big issue I'm struggling with. A little history first. I was married for almost 30 years, and my now ex asked for a divorce. I didn't want it, but I didn't have a choice. I said I would never be with someone again. Three years later and I'm in love. We have talked about marriage. However, I get help with my medical insurance through the state. If I get married, I will lose it. I've looked into going ahead and getting insurance on my own. It's so expensive. It also doesn't cover all of my medications. I have some medical conditions that require expensive medications. I would have to pay for the insurance and almost $2000 for just two of my medications. I have 5 others that aren't expensive and are covered. We've asked God to bless our union, but I just don't feel that is what God would want. Are there some bible verses that would guide me? Is it possible to get married under God's eyes without government interference? Thank you and God bless

Greetings
many have walked this path you are not alone my friend

a prayer of mercy

​

Psalms 4:1 Dear Lord, Abba father in the Highest, Hear me when I call, O God of my righteousness! You have relieved me in my distress; Have mercy on me, and hear my prayer.

Psalms 7:1 O Lord my God, in You I put my trust; Save me from all those who persecute me; please deliver me

Psalms 7:3 O Lord my God, if I have done this: If there is iniquity in my hands!

Psalms 32:5 For I acknowledged my sin to You, And my iniquity, I have not hidden my sins. I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the Lord," And You forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah

Psalms 57:2 I will cry out to God Most High, To God who performs all things for me.

Psalms 30:10 Hear, O Lord, and have mercy on me; Lord, be my helper!"

Psalms 32:7 You are my hiding place; You shall preserve me from trouble; You shall surround me with songs of deliverance. Selah

Psalms 103:11-12 For as the heavens are high above the earth, So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him;
As far as the East is from the West, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.

Psalms 40:17 But I am poor and needy, Yet the Lord thinks upon me. You are my help and my deliverer; (Please I ask) Do not delay, O my God.

Isaiah 1:18 "Come now, and let us reason together," Says the Lord, "Though your sins are like scarlet, They shall be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They shall be as wool.

Psalms 51:17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, A broken and a contrite heart-- These, O God, You will not despise.

Psalms 25:20 Keep thy family, and deliver them; Let them not be ashamed, for I put my trust in You.

Luke 2:14 Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, goodwill toward men. Amen

 

[Tenchi]

I'm trying everyday to learn more about our God and becoming a better Christian.

How's this going? Walking well with God is the most crucial, the most essential, part of being married. Marriage is, after all, God's institution, designed by Him such that it doesn't work as it should without Him at the center of it.

A little history first. I was married for almost 30 years, and my now ex asked for a divorce. I didn't want it, but I didn't have a choice.

I see. Well, "it takes two to tango," as the saying goes. It is an extremely rare thing for a marriage to split apart solely because of one member of a marriage union. And so, if you've not resolved with God whatever part of you helped bring your marriage to divorce, that part will also sabotage your new prospective marriage. As another saying goes, "Wherever you go, there you are." A change of location or relationship doesn't change who you are, right?

However, I get help with my medical insurance through the state. If I get married, I will lose it. I've looked into going ahead and getting insurance on my own. It's so expensive. It also doesn't cover all of my medications. I have some medical conditions that require expensive medications. I would have to pay for the insurance and almost $2000 for just two of my medications. I have 5 others that aren't expensive and are covered. We've asked God to bless our union, but I just don't feel that is what God would want.

Well, perhaps one of the ways God will indicate His approval of you two being together as husband and wife, is to supply the financial means for this to be. It has been by material providence that God has often indicated His will to His children. Not always, but often. Remember: None of what you have ultimately comes from the government. All you possess is given to you by God. If you are seeking first His kingdom every day, He promises He will add to you all you need materially - food, clothing, shelter, etc - to you. Read Matthew 6:25-33.

Are there some bible verses that would guide me? Is it possible to get married under God's eyes without government interference? Thank you and God bless

Marriage is not certified by the government but by God. It is your marriage covenant with each other and with God, forsaking all others to become one flesh, "come hell or high water," that truly marries you. But there are established cultural traditions/expectations concerning marriage (official/public ceremony, governmental registration, etc.) that you can't just throw off and expect others to understand and accept. Nor should you think to deceive the government by making your marriage appear to be just a common-law thing. God will have nothing to do with deception.

 

[Hidden In Him]

I'm trying everyday to learn more about our God and becoming a better Christian. I have one big issue I'm struggling with. A little history first. I was married for almost 30 years, and my now ex asked for a divorce. I didn't want it, but I didn't have a choice. I said I would never be with someone again. Three years later and I'm in love. We have talked about marriage. However, I get help with my medical insurance through the state. If I get married, I will lose it. I've looked into going ahead and getting insurance on my own. It's so expensive. It also doesn't cover all of my medications. I have some medical conditions that require expensive medications. I would have to pay for the insurance and almost $2000 for just two of my medications. I have 5 others that aren't expensive and are covered. We've asked God to bless our union, but I just don't feel that is what God would want. Are there some bible verses that would guide me? Is it possible to get married under God's eyes without government interference? Thank you and God bless

Some friends and I were discussing this the other night, and how a certain minister we all know is rather corrupt and we would rather have a friend with zero credentials marry us before him....

This answer raises legal issues, but it comes back to mind because I would be tempted to do the same thing here. If I were to find a devout Christian to marry us in the sight of God and it was carried out in front of witnesses, am I not married in His sight? Only to turn around and not admit to the state that you are married to continue receiving medications at a price that helps you survive... it smacks of Jacob being a little too tricky if you know what I mean.

Just gonna post my thoughts, cuz I am not ashamed to admit I would consider such things myself. But keep seeking God. Maybe He has a better solution.

Blessings in Christ, and welcome to our forum.
Hidden

 

[WIP]

Is it possible to get married under God's eyes without government interference?

Yes and no.

• Some denominations will perform the ceremony without the need to meet the requirements of the governmental body having jurisdiction such as a marriage license. The basis for this is that marriage is a covenant determined by God and not the state and therefore the couple would be married in the eyes of the church regardless of having legal status within the governmental body.
• Some denominations will require that the legal requirements of governmental body also be included. The basis for this is that while marriage is a covenant determined by God, Scripture also says that we are to be subject to the governing authorities except when those laws are in conflict with God's laws.

That said, the reason for licensing is to record the contract. While it may vary somewhat from state to state, getting legally married in the eyes of the government gives the couple some legal advantages and protections under the law such as

• Having "next-of-kin" status which allows the spouse to make medical decisions if the other is unable to do so.
• Inheritance benefits in the event one partner passes. There are no gift taxes incurred when transferring assets to a spouse.
• Property ownership. From my own experience, I owned a home from a previous marriage and yet, when I sold that home, my second wife had legal rights and had to sign agreement to transfer the title to that home even though her name was not on the title. She gained legal status to the property by virtue of our marriage contract.
• Division of assets during a divorce. The courts recognize joint ownership of property for married couples but not necessarily for cohabitating couples.
• Spousal social security benefits. For example, if I die before my wife, she can claim my social security benefits.
• Income tax benefits. The tax brackets for married persons filing jointly are different from single persons and the end result is a little lower tax liability for the married couple even for the same total taxable income.
  • Single person federal tax brackets:
    • 10% on first $11,000.00 taxable income.
    • 12% on taxable income between $11,001.00 and $44,725.00.
    • 22% on taxable income between $44,726.00 and $95,375.00.
  • Married filing jointly federal tax brackets:
    • !0% on first $22,000.00 combined taxable income.
    • 12% on taxable income between $22,001.00 and $89,450.00.
    • 22% on taxable income between $89,451.00 and $190,750.00.

State taxes work much the same way favoring the married couple.

I threw some numbers for a couple with one partner earning $60,000.00 and the other partner earning $40,000.00 taxable income. The total federal tax liability for two individual single persons would be $13,087.50. The total tax liability for the same persons married filing jointly would be $12,615.00.