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[__ Prayer __] New here..desperately need prayers

MaryKate

MaryKate

Member
Hello everyone.. I am new here, and guess I should warn you I am not used to putting myself so "out there" like this...but I have let some of this out!;-( The bottom line is I need help getting through another day..i come seeking prayers,advice, and just a place to vent. I don't think social media like Facebook is the appropriate forum to air one's personal problems, although apparently some people disagree. Geez where to start. OK today was the straw that broke my back. That's because today I received a letter from SSI saying they were going to be cutting my benefits in HALF from now on, and on top of that, that they believe they'd overpaid me, which is ridiculous, and that means now I must repay them $8000! A punch to the gut. Worse possible timing. Just when I thought things couldn't get much worse. We are already drowning in debt, barely holding on, struggling to keep food on the table. I am a 29 year old single mother to the most beautiful seven year old girl in the world. I suffer from lupus and all the physical and mental pain that comes with. Lately it's been so bad that I cannot work, I have moved in with my mother when my father and step-father both recently passed away one right after the other, thinking I would be helping her so she wouldn't be alone, but it ended up as her helping take care of me and my daughter, my only contribution my social security check, when combined with her once a month paycheck keeps us barely afloat as we struggle to pay off debt & medical treatments & medication. The past couple months I've been in and out of the hospital as my lupus started affecting my kidneys, nephritis to go along with my SLE. There's no one to turn to to help us. My daughter's father has never paid child support and wouldn't help even if he could. I made a bad judgment call in that situation but I consider my escape from an abusive relationship worth any hardship my leaving brought. I feel embarrassed, useless, and impotent to make things better. I'm drowning and scared and sick all the time, struggling to be the best mother and daughter I can be, leaning so hard on my faith that I know it must be strong since it hasn't broken. I'm overwhelmed with depression & anxiety which only makes my physical health worse but I can't help it. I can only imagine what my momma is going through. I only want to make things better but we are both still paralyzed dealing with grief on top of everything else. I try so hard to keep a smile on my face in front of my baby girl and not let on to her how bad our situation is. My poor Mom should be enjoying retirement right now instead of having to work so hard for so little. Any prayers, good thought and vibes, suggestions of scripture, would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much just for your time..reading this and letting me vent some of these toxic emotions. Calling all angels to get me through another day...God bless <3
 
hi, MaryKate...

welcome to CFnet! I honestly do not know what to do in your situation. Some lawyers take on SSI and SSDI cases when stuff like this happens. Maybe that's an option? Before I was granted SSI, my dad took me to a guy who called himself an "advocate..." he'd worked in the SSA, handling disability, and then he got out and basically he helps people fine tune their cases, appeals, etc. My best guess is that he was a lot cheaper than a lawyer, and he definitely helped get my case to go thru successfully.

I'll keep you and your family up in prayer. Please feel free to come here and vent (I do ALL THE TIME, lol) and ramble, etc. I've personally found that The Lord has used this place and people here to build my faith and help me grow in Christ. Its a good place, it really is.

OK. Praying for you. :)
 
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Hi MaryKate and welcome in Jesus' name. You are in a tough situation, but not one that God cannot, or will not take on. An appeal of some sort using an advocate, or possible agency as Christ_empowered suggested is certainly worth the effort. I will certainly pray for you, and are you attending any church at the present that may have connections with some that have such legal advice?

If you're living with your mother, is she able to watch your child when you went to work instead of her having to go to work? All this can appear to be hard but for some reason called love God kept me, my wife, and two children through a poverty situation while living in a resort area on $327 per month if I remember it correctly while in the Air Force. Now I always had a second job, or more, took the last few cents and fished to have food at times, but even then God kept us.

What's really strange is the fact that we look back on that as the good times. No car, one thirteen inch B&W TV, and we felt blessed.
Blessing to you in Christ Jesus. :wave2
 
MaryKate said:
Hello everyone.. I am new here, and guess I should warn you I am not used to putting myself so "out there" like this...but I have let some of this out!;-( The bottom line is I need help getting through another day..i come seeking prayers,advice, and just a place to vent. I don't think social media like Facebook is the appropriate forum to air one's personal problems, although apparently some people disagree. Geez where to start. OK today was the straw that broke my back. That's because today I received a letter from SSI saying they were going to be cutting my benefits in HALF from now on, and on top of that, that they believe they'd overpaid me, which is ridiculous, and that means now I must repay them $8000! A punch to the gut. Worse possible timing. Just when I thought things couldn't get much worse. We are already drowning in debt, barely holding on, struggling to keep food on the table. I am a 29 year old single mother to the most beautiful seven year old girl in the world. I suffer from lupus and all the physical and mental pain that comes with. Lately it's been so bad that I cannot work, I have moved in with my mother when my father and step-father both recently passed away one right after the other, thinking I would be helping her so she wouldn't be alone, but it ended up as her helping take care of me and my daughter, my only contribution my social security check, when combined with her once a month paycheck keeps us barely afloat as we struggle to pay off debt & medical treatments & medication. The past couple months I've been in and out of the hospital as my lupus started affecting my kidneys, nephritis to go along with my SLE. There's no one to turn to to help us. My daughter's father has never paid child support and wouldn't help even if he could. I made a bad judgment call in that situation but I consider my escape from an abusive relationship worth any hardship my leaving brought. I feel embarrassed, useless, and impotent to make things better. I'm drowning and scared and sick all the time, struggling to be the best mother and daughter I can be, leaning so hard on my faith that I know it must be strong since it hasn't broken. I'm overwhelmed with depression & anxiety which only makes my physical health worse but I can't help it. I can only imagine what my momma is going through. I only want to make things better but we are both still paralyzed dealing with grief on top of everything else. I try so hard to keep a smile on my face in front of my baby girl and not let on to her how bad our situation is. My poor Mom should be enjoying retirement right now instead of having to work so hard for so little. Any prayers, good thought and vibes, suggestions of scripture, would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much just for your time..reading this and letting me vent some of these toxic emotions. Calling all angels to get me through another day...God bless <3
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MaryKate,
I am a disabled Vietnam Veteran and can not give you money but advise, I can. Please, young lady, go to FundMe at https://www.fundme.com/en and copy and paste your post on this string on their site. I have known of people that have raised more than a million there and hon, you have nothing to loose. You might need to open an account with Pay Pal but that is also free. And I pray God's blessings on you and your effort with that child. And being as you are young, I pray God will deliver a Good Man into your Life, God has some out there, they are just not in the majority. May God bless you, your efforts and may He shorten this trial. Amen!
 
Eugene!-- thank you so much for your response :) I want to be so clear that I would take my mothers place and go back to work in a heartbeat(even though it would still take both of us working to make it) if I could...my immune system disorders have literally crippled me physically & mentally..for someone who has had a job every day of her life since she was 14 up until I was six months pregnant with my angel & my health issues kicked in,it is devastating not to be able to support me & mine..God bless you for responding and thank you so much for your prayers....
Taylor!---your words made my heart feel warm, especially your encouragement and the guarantee that there ARE good men out there still..I'd sure love to meet one but in my current situation any social aspects of life seem almost impossible!:-/ as far as your suggestion for the funding page, I know that like you said, I have nothing to lose, and probably should get over my pride, but I'd have to look into how its set up, because the idea of begging or asking strangers for money makes me feel so wrong inside..as desperate as I am..I guess I may have to get over it before things become irreparable, which they seem to be rushing towards,for my daughter's sake. I appreciate your advice and kind words so very much!! Thank y'all and God bless
 
MaryKate said:
Eugene!-- thank you so much for your response :) I want to be so clear that I would take my mothers place and go back to work in a heartbeat(even though it would still take both of us working to make it) if I could...my immune system disorders have literally crippled me physically & mentally..for someone who has had a job every day of her life since she was 14 up until I was six months pregnant with my angel & my health issues kicked in,it is devastating not to be able to support me & mine..God bless you for responding and thank you so much for your prayers....
Taylor!---your words made my heart feel warm, especially your encouragement and the guarantee that there ARE good men out there still..I'd sure love to meet one but in my current situation any social aspects of life seem almost impossible!:-/ as far as your suggestion for the funding page, I know that like you said, I have nothing to lose, and probably should get over my pride, but I'd have to look into how its set up, because the idea of begging or asking strangers for money makes me feel so wrong inside..as desperate as I am..I guess I may have to get over it before things become irreparable, which they seem to be rushing towards,for my daughter's sake. I appreciate your advice and kind words so very much!! Thank y'all and God bless
Click to expand...
I am also handicapped form an Immune Disease and in my time I started three companies and lost them to divorces that crashed them and placing me to driving Mixer to support me. But when I gave my life over to the LORD's Service I, the proud former soldier, had decided I was no good at marriage and just wanted to worship tde God that had kicked me behind my legs from Nov. 3, 1966 through November 25, 1990, I was tough and thought any man that had seen the horrors I experienced could never serve God.

But God spoke seven words to me in His Still Quiet
Voice as I cursed Him that day for allowing me to find my best friend blown to pieces by a mortar that tey told me hit him in the chest.

Sounds like a perfectly normal event, but the catch you can't see is I was an atheist and that's why God asked me, "Why curse me, You don't even believe?" I did not become a Christian until the first of January, 1990 but I sure was a deist.

My disease is R&R Multiple Sclerosis and is from the Agents Orange, Blue and White they used to defoliate the Jungle with but the U.S. cannot afford the Law suits frokm Vets and from the other countries that fought against and with us there, so, no money.

I have done a lot of adjustment since I fell off of my Mixer in '03 and they forced me onto SSD. My wife was laid off by the Toshiba Motor Plant in that same year for Degenerative Spine Condition, leaving us strapped.

But because we both serve God with our hearts, we are caught up and have not missed a meal. Some times we need a certain amount for something and without even mentioning and some other Christian walks up hands us some money, quietly, and it is exact what we need, No Extra and not short.

God knows your need and only needs you to trust Hi and to do your part. And like I said, copy and paste your first post because it broke your heart typing that testimony and there is no need to go through that twice.

Now, please trust God and go join Fund Me because a Soldier. whose wife has Cancer needed a couple of hundred thousand to pa for his wife's cure because the
Army will not pay for a wife's Cancer Cure. I mean, he's aq kid, as I was and as I WAS, He's full of Macho but he overcame it and people, all together, gave him over a million. It won't hurt for Rich people help you, honest Injun.
 
Yes sir, while she is not disabled, I've been going through the rounds of trying to get on disability and it hasn't been as cut and dry as I thought. I had my doctor qualify me as disabled because of my lupus and was still denied. Ive been told a couple different things, one that a lot of people have to get a lawyer in order to finally get approved, & two that I might have better luck filing as disabled due to depression, anxiety, you know, mental health issues.. Don't know how much of that is 100% true but I've been actively researching my next step. Thank you very much for keeping me in mind; I truly appreciate it.<3
Added later...seems like another situation I need to find an "advocate" to help me with! I certainly haven't had much luck dealing with the government on my own
 
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By the way Taylor(and if that's not your name please correct me so I know what to call my new friend!), I went to the link you sent me and could not find any way to post an ad, just was able to view other peoples. Is this the same as GOfundme?
 
i think disability people are harder on younger people. I got disability for some kind of mental ailment...Bipolar I or Schizophrenia...in my 20s. Until recently, my case was reviewed....every.single.year. Oh well. That is...what it is, I suppose.

A lawyer or an advocate might be a good idea. The guy my dad took me to described himself as an "advocate." I don't know much $$$ he charged or what, but I would assume he was a lot cheaper than most disability lawyers. Then again...after he got involved and my dad went with me to the SSA, I got disability right away, so I didn't need a lawyer. If you need one, you should consider it, pray about it, etc. Disability is very important for people for genuinely cannot support themselves, so I'd encourage you to pray and reflect and then think about what would be best for you+your family here.

I'll keep you and your family up in prayer. Please keep us all posted, and please also think about posting in some of the other areas, too, if you feel like it. :)
 
MaryKate said:
By the way Taylor(and if that's not your name please correct me so I know what to call my new friend!), I went to the link you sent me and could not find any way to post an ad, just was able to view other peoples. Is this the same as GOfundme?
Click to expand...
Yes mam, it is. and Taylor is correct but all of mine call me dad and my friends just call me Bill unless they are very young and then it's Mister Bill.
 
MaryKate said:
Hello everyone.. I am new here, and guess I should warn you I am not used to putting myself so "out there" like this...but I have let some of this out!;-( The bottom line is I need help getting through another day..i come seeking prayers,advice, and just a place to vent. I don't think social media like Facebook is the appropriate forum to air one's personal problems, although apparently some people disagree. Geez where to start. OK today was the straw that broke my back. That's because today I received a letter from SSI saying they were going to be cutting my benefits in HALF from now on, and on top of that, that they believe they'd overpaid me, which is ridiculous, and that means now I must repay them $8000! A punch to the gut. Worse possible timing. Just when I thought things couldn't get much worse. We are already drowning in debt, barely holding on, struggling to keep food on the table. I am a 29 year old single mother to the most beautiful seven year old girl in the world. I suffer from lupus and all the physical and mental pain that comes with. Lately it's been so bad that I cannot work, I have moved in with my mother when my father and step-father both recently passed away one right after the other, thinking I would be helping her so she wouldn't be alone, but it ended up as her helping take care of me and my daughter, my only contribution my social security check, when combined with her once a month paycheck keeps us barely afloat as we struggle to pay off debt & medical treatments & medication. The past couple months I've been in and out of the hospital as my lupus started affecting my kidneys, nephritis to go along with my SLE. There's no one to turn to to help us. My daughter's father has never paid child support and wouldn't help even if he could. I made a bad judgment call in that situation but I consider my escape from an abusive relationship worth any hardship my leaving brought. I feel embarrassed, useless, and impotent to make things better. I'm drowning and scared and sick all the time, struggling to be the best mother and daughter I can be, leaning so hard on my faith that I know it must be strong since it hasn't broken. I'm overwhelmed with depression & anxiety which only makes my physical health worse but I can't help it. I can only imagine what my momma is going through. I only want to make things better but we are both still paralyzed dealing with grief on top of everything else. I try so hard to keep a smile on my face in front of my baby girl and not let on to her how bad our situation is. My poor Mom should be enjoying retirement right now instead of having to work so hard for so little. Any prayers, good thought and vibes, suggestions of scripture, would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much just for your time..reading this and letting me vent some of these toxic emotions. Calling all angels to get me through another day...God bless <3
Click to expand...

Will keep you in my prayers. God is a prayer answering God.
 
Thank you everyone. While things are still the same and the stress of everything is overwhelming sometimes, I know 100% that I can feel a difference that must be yalls prayers working with mine..
I don't know if its just a slight feeling of the wind changing that gives me cause to hope that something, soon, will change for the better, and give us some breathing room, but I do feel a distinct positive shift that wasnt there before and I wake up each day now hoping and praying and wanting to believe that THIS day that miracle something will happen to help us. If nothing else, at least its a little easier getting through each day while having honest hope to hold on to. So thank you so much and God bless you to everyone who has been keeping me and my mother and daughter in their prayers....
 
giphy.gif
:hug For God nothing is impossible. I will hold you and yours in my prayers.

There is a very good site with a worthy reputation that carries articles, resources, for work at home jobs. thepennyhoarder.com.

That may offer you a road to hope.
Welcome to our community.
 
MaryKate said:
Thank you everyone. While things are still the same and the stress of everything is overwhelming sometimes, I know 100% that I can feel a difference that must be yalls prayers working with mine..
I don't know if its just a slight feeling of the wind changing that gives me cause to hope that something, soon, will change for the better, and give us some breathing room, but I do feel a distinct positive shift that wasnt there before and I wake up each day now hoping and praying and wanting to believe that THIS day that miracle something will happen to help us. If nothing else, at least its a little easier getting through each day while having honest hope to hold on to. So thank you so much and God bless you to everyone who has been keeping me and my mother and daughter in their prayers....
Click to expand...
God will come through and He has a plan for what He will do and as long as we are willing to wait for Him, He will not fail anyone.
 
Bad day, a very bad day, and I only have here to let out some of this vile anxiety that's bubbling up in me...all my positivity from the other day has boomeranged on me right now and I know I just need to be told This too shall pass. But while I am lying here in bed suffering from a 102.6 fever and insane swelling and aches I'm that much more unable to even THINK of a way to be proactive, save the situation...we normally get the SS check every second Wednesday of the month, so day before yesterday we were holding our breath and crossing our fingers that the changes wouldn't have been put into effect yet since we just barely got notice, and was hoping for the usual full amount instead of the 'cut in half'..it didn't come on Wednesday.. At all. Its only once not been on time and that was the P.O. s fault before we started getting it directly on a card. So we waited all day yesterday ..nothing.. Needless to say we were counting on having that money, any of it, at that time, since we don't everything is about to fall off a precipice..getting charged $50 a day late fee for stupid car loan that we took out in desperation and have regretted ever since, among other things, such as, oh yeah, gas & food. Every penny is already accounted for before we get it so what the heck now that its not here? We've been trying to contact the right person who can tell us exactly what is going on and why we didn't receive it and that in itself is enough to drive someone crazy! Supposedly someone I guess caseworker is supposed to be calling us back, so got that accomplished after playing musical chair-phones for hours...please forgive my typos, my nonsensical rambling and grammatical errors, like I said I'm writing this from bed too weak to lift my head off the pillow and taking lightyears to type, I just had to get it out, off my chest, and beg for more prayers, a double down on prayers if you will, right now I'm going to be 100% honest and vulnerable; I'm very scared, I feel so awful, I don't want to have to end up making a trio to the e.r. tonight, I wish I could fall asleep and have everything have fixed itself when I wake..I'm at a loss. But I do know God won't ever give you more than you can handle and everything happens for a reason and I keep repeating these things trying to make myself feel better but I'm still scared.
I'm going to shut up now and give it a rest and pray to get some rest and pray that you fine people will throw in a little extra special prayer for me,and my mom, right now. Thank you for listening to my pathetic whining but I'm glad to have somewhere I feel like I'm safe to do that... Like i said please Forgive me for all of the above.. God bless
 
i am --so-- sorry. reading this really gets to me.

i know there are lawyers for ssdi. i would think/assume there are some for ssi, as well. i had no idea they could just cut off checks like that. i mean, its the gov't, and they...do.not.care, so I believe you, but...wow. that's hardcore.

when i was reivewed, the info sheet they sent out at the beginning of the review mentioned that i could file an appeal. can you (or an advocate, lawyer...somebody...) do that in this situation?

i dont think you're pathetic and/or whiney or anything. please feel free to come here and vent and such, as often as you need to (I certainly do, clearly).

I'll keep you and your family up in prayer. :)
 
Taylor, I did as you suggested and caved and made a gofundme...as I'm getting pretty awfully desperate. Can't hurt to try, and I just wanted to say thank you for advising me to do so. I pretty much just copy & pasted my original post for the most part, with a few changes..Problem I encountered is during sign up they made it pretty clear on there that the people that end up getting help are most always ones who have Facebook and twitter pages, etc., to link to, & in my case I've abandoned social media for quite a long while now. Even if i was a social media person I couldn't stand putting myself out there so raw to many of those people in my life anyway. I don't know what else people do to have better results, if anybody has any suggestions they'd be greatly appreciated. Much love to all you kind people who've been here for me listening to me cry and praying for me & mine. It has been a blessing just finding this place to go during this hard time. <3
 
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