Hi Mike, Your right. I'm still learning. My dad always told me never tell anyone your problems because one half of the people doesn't care and the other half is glad you have them. I always use to find humor in that. But, nope I haven't fell off the wagon this time.
Rom_12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but
be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
Jas_1:21 Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word,
which is able to save your souls.
As I matured in the Word of God, which has power in itself to save our soul (Mind, will, emotions, who we are- our spirit gets born again, not our soul) and was transformed, in truth as Jesus said the truth shall make you free. I started to see the root of why I kept falling off the so called wagon.
You count days without a drink, but that wagon is always right there to restart the counter again. Falling off the wagon becomes a horrible thing to self-esteem, self worth, it's emotionally devastating.
I soon saw the wagon itself becomes a bondage. Who wants to go to their AA meeting and confess to everyone you blew it, and everyone encourages you, says it's OK, and lets start again.
Working with Other addicted people I would hear great stories of being sober for 10 years and 14 days. Everyone would clap, and be happy. People would stand up and say "HI, my name is such and such, I am a alcoholic and have been sober for 5 years, it's been hard, I battle not having a drink sometimes every day."
There is the fear of that wagon again. Still fighting something is not being free of it.
When my Pastor asked me to run his Christian drug and alcohol program, I prayed, and changed it.
Pro_23:7
For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee.
Be blessed, and power from the Lord Jesus to be free.
Mike