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[__ Prayer __] Not doing so good right now


Sep 26, 2022
I could really use some prayer warriors in my corner right now. I'm going through a deep valley and I feel like The Lord is silent and distant right now. I feel as if I chose Him but He never chose me. Every time I read my Bible or try to listen to some encouragement from other believers, my soul is screaming that I don't belong to Him and I'm not one of His children. I was saved in 1986 on Father's Day. I prayed the sinner's prayer and immediately I felt as if a ton of bricks was lifted off of my shoulders. And for the first 5 years of my walk with Jesus I was really on fire for him. I spent hours in the word and in prayer. If I knew the name of every person on Earth I would have prayed for everyone. I was witnessing to people and sharing the gospel; but then something happened and I got off the path and I was that way for about 25 years. and now for the past 4 years I've been trying to get back home, like the Prodigal Son, but it's just not working. it's not happening and I feel even more distant and alone and withdrawn from God that I ever have. I have prayed and begged and pleaded with the Lord to forgive me of whatever it is that I have done to anger and disappoint Him, but nothing has changed. I feel as if He has blotted me out of his book of life and he has turned his back on me. I am despairing of life itself. Please know that I will never take my own life, yet I pray for death everyday because I am so miserable.

Jethro Bodine

Oct 31, 2011
God, you're the only one who can give comfort and guidance to jbc, so I ask that you visit him by your Spirit and lift his soul out of the depths of despair and guide and direct him into a renewed relationship with you in the Holy Spirit. Do what only you can do for him. Be his first love again, in Jesus' name. Amen.


2022 Supporter
Mar 8, 2021
Your doubts seem to be based off your feelings. Fortunately salvation isn't based off of our feelings, but rather His grace and our faith. Stay strong!


Fight the good fight of faith
Staff member
South Carolina
Apr 22, 2011
Hi jbc092671 I understand where you are coming from as that was me many years ago. I called my self a yo-yo Christian as I was with Him, left Him, with Him and left Him, but now know God was always with me in my most down depressed despair times of my life. I prayed until I was blue in the face and thought for sure I screwed my life up and that God was not with me.

This is just a small part of my own testimony. When I was at my worse without any self-esteem left in me I did contemplate suicide all the time, but to afraid to kill myself thinking I would surely go to hell. Satan was buffeting me so hard just like he is with you right now. I just had to get to that place where enough was enough and I humbled myself before the Lord and poured out my whole heart to him giving Him all my hurts, doubts and pain I could no longer deal with. I poured out all of me having nothing else to pour so I just laid there for a while in total silence. It was in that silence that I saw all these black clouds engulfing me like when a bad storm rolls in with thick dark rolling clouds. Once those clouds ended I was wrapped in the most brightest warm light as I felt the arms of Christ hugging me and started speaking to me telling me many things and most important I was worth something in this life and He had works for me to do. I remember begging Him to take me with Him, but He said not know. I just laid there for awhile basking in the light of His glory as He was doing an amazing mighty work in me renewing my spirit creating within me a new Spiritual inner man.

I say all of this to tell you to stop thinking God has abandoned you, but is waiting for you to come to Him, pour your heart out to Him and then be silent long enough to hear Him speak to your heart if you just give Him the chance.

Most important, make sure you are somewhere quite and you will not be disturb and just wait upon the Lord.

Isaiah 40:31 But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.


Aug 15, 2022
I have prayed and begged and pleaded with the Lord to forgive me of whatever it is that I have done to anger and disappoint Him, but nothing has changed. I feel as if He has blotted me out of his book of life and he has turned his back on me. I am despairing of life itself. Please know that I will never take my own life, yet I pray for death everyday because I am so miserable.
God is above those things, of disappointment, anger, because He is the creator, who shapes us in the way He has to, to learn to do better than we know.

First, remember with me, what happened to the mighty king Nebuchadnezzar. Driven from men, until he was as a beast.

Like your gong away for so many years, this king was away all his life, as a king, then he was away as a beast, and suffered immensely, sent away from all of life. ( like you have felt away from God and God away from you)

But God did purpose of course through it all. Nebuchadnezzar's understanding returned, and then he praised and honoured God ( who lives for ever) knowing Gd has all dominion.

He got to know that all on earth is nothing, as God does according to His will, and the kings reason returned to him, ( excellent majesty added to him) then he extols and honours the King of Heaven, as all of Gods ways are in truth and those who walk in pride ( even the king of the world) He is able to abase.

Daniel 4:33 The same hour was the thing fulfilled upon Nebuchadnezzar: and he was driven from men, and did eat grass as oxen, and his body was wet with the dew of heaven, till his hairs were grown like eagles' feathers, and his nails like birds' claws.
34 And at the end of the days I Nebuchadnezzar lifted up mine eyes unto heaven, and mine understanding returned unto me, and I blessed the most High, and I praised and honoured him that liveth for ever, whose dominion is an everlasting dominion, and his kingdom is from generation to generation:
35 And all the inhabitants of the earth are reputed as nothing: and he doeth according to his will in the army of heaven, and among the inhabitants of the earth: and none can stay his hand, or say unto him, What doest thou?
36 At the same time my reason returned unto me; and for the glory of my kingdom, mine honour and brightness returned unto me; and my counsellors and my lords sought unto me; and I was established in my kingdom, and excellent majesty was added unto me.
37 Now I Nebuchadnezzar praise and extol and honour the King of heaven, all whose works are truth, and his ways judgment: and those that walk in pride he is able to abase.

Job spoke as you have shown, in misery and bitter in soul. Longing to be away, like treasure, and asks why is light given to a man whose way is hid, and God is hedging in ?

But the answer is wonderful, God has shown he was holding the hand of Job, not willing for Job to perish, and loved him so much he gave him a special learning, until Job ( as Nebuchadnezzar ) understood that God had to pull them out of the place they had gone to, and He did it until they understood why.

Then Job prayed, (as did Nebuchadnezzar) for the ones who never got to know the deeper ways of the Lord, and Job has his heart opened ( as was Nebuchadnezzar) by speaking the right thing of God and by using that opened understanding and heart for the others. ( this is the purpose of God in the sufferings of Christ. Hebrews 12:8-10.)...

Job 3:20 Wherefore is light given to him that is in misery, and life unto the bitter in soul;
21 Which long for death, but it cometh not; and dig for it more than for hid treasures;
22 Which rejoice exceedingly, and are glad, when they can find the grave?
23 Why is light given to a man whose way is hid, and whom God hath hedged in?
24 For my sighing cometh before I eat, and my roarings are poured out like the waters.
25 For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me.
26 I was not in safety, neither had I rest, neither was I quiet; yet trouble came.

Job 42:1 Then Job answered the Lord, and said,
2 I know that thou canst do every thing, and that no thought can be withholden from thee.
3 Who is he that hideth counsel without knowledge? therefore have I uttered that I understood not; things too wonderful for me, which I knew not.
4 Hear, I beseech thee, and I will speak: I will demand of thee, and declare thou unto me.
5 I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: but now mine eye seeth thee.
6 Wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes.

Job 42:7 And it was so, that after the Lord had spoken these words unto Job, the Lord said to Eliphaz the Temanite, My wrath is kindled against thee, and against thy two friends: for ye have not spoken of me the thing that is right, as my servant Job hath.
8 Therefore take unto you now seven bullocks and seven rams, and go to my servant Job, and offer up for yourselves a burnt offering; and my servant Job shall pray for you: for him will I accept: lest I deal with you after your folly, in that ye have not spoken of me the thing which is right, like my servant Job.
9 So Eliphaz the Temanite and Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite went, and did according as the Lord commanded them: the Lord also accepted Job.
10 And the Lord turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends: also the Lord gave Job twice as much as he had before.
11 Then came there unto him all his brethren, and all his sisters, and all they that had been of his acquaintance before, and did eat bread with him in his house: and they bemoaned him, and comforted him over all the evil that the Lord had brought upon him: every man also gave him a piece of money, and every one an earring of gold.
12 So the Lord blessed the latter end of Job more than his beginning: for he had fourteen thousand sheep, and six thousand camels, and a thousand yoke of oxen, and a thousand she asses.

Psalm 139:1 O lord, thou hast searched me, and known me.
2 Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.
3 Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.
4 For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O Lord, thou knowest it altogether.
5 Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it.
7 Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?
8 If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.
9 If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;
10 Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.

2 Corinthians 1:7 And our hope of you is stedfast, knowing, that as ye are partakers of the sufferings, so shall ye be also of the consolation.
8 For we would not, brethren, have you ignorant of our trouble which came to us in Asia, that we were pressed out of measure, above strength, insomuch that we despaired even of life:
9 But we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God which raiseth the dead:
10 Who delivered us from so great a death, and doth deliver: in whom we trust that he will yet deliver us;

2 Corinthians 4:8 We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;
9 Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;
10 Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.
11 For we which live are always delivered unto death for Jesus' sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh.

1 Peter 4:12 Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:
13 But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.

James 5:10 Take, my brethren, the prophets, who have spoken in the name of the Lord, for an example of suffering affliction, and of patience.
11 Behold, we count them happy which endure. Ye have heard of the patience of Job, and have seen the end of the Lord; that the Lord is very pitiful, and of tender mercy.