One Liners - Jokes.

[th1b.taylor]

I fired my personal trainer today, he was not working out for me.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

I prolly should open another thread and post it instead of derailing the joke thread lol

No, no, you're fine. OSAS is a joke. Not a very funny one, but a joke nonetheless.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

Have you heard of Fawlty Towers? It has John Cleese in it, he was part of Monty Python. Very funny for us Brits.
British humour at its best.

You have to watch the episode when an American guy stays at his hotel. Google Fawlty Towers and Waldorf Salad.

Never watched it.
I'll Google it.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

Let's see, bottle number 1,981.
Who's message is this?
Come on girls, be honest.

It's from thesaintman.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

I'm tired of girls mauling me.
But what can I do?

Just give 'em Ralph's phone number and address and they'll leave you alone very quickly....and for good.

 

[dianegcook]

You girls are just so cute.
Let me look.
I think I have an opening for each of you in November.

I think I am booked up also, I will let you borrow my dog though...

 

[Rollo Tamasi]

A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve. “Six please” she said, “I could never eat twelve!

Q: "Waiter, will my pizza be long?"
A: "No sir, it will be round!"

I'm telling my wife you said that>LOL, wait til you taste her pizza.

 

[Rollo Tamasi]

Never watched it.
I'll Google it.

You've just proven your knowledge of anything is very limited.

 

[Rollo Tamasi]

It's from thesaintman.

OOh, bad boy again, oh well, just another one to add to Reba's list.

 

[Wrg1405]

My wife said to go out and get something that makes her look sexy. So I got drunk.

I did marry miss right though, I just didn't know her first name was Always...

Love it, great sense of humour. My type as well, not that I'm saying I have a good sense of humour though.

 

[Wrg1405]

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is a husband.

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife

 

[Jethro Bodine]

How many times do we have to tell Reba, you do not have to throw away a good bathing suit just because it has a hole in the knee.

 

[GodsGrace]

How many times do we have to tell Reba, you do not have to throw away a good bathing suit just because it has a hole in the knee.