Christ_empowered
Member
- Oct 23, 2010
- 14,242
- 10,722
Thought+memory of the day: When I was down at my worst, only the Born Again Christians would do anything with me. Honestly, that's one big factor in me getting saved and now listenting to other Born Again Christians.
My worst was: after 2 rounds of involuntary shock, age 24, I attacked my dad. Terrible, sinful, criminal thing to do. I was paranoid, I felt trapped, I was...it wasn't really anger, it was just...there was no way out. I was kinda afraid my (much taller, muscular) dad was going to beat me up. I was more afraid of being sent back to a mental hospital.
Soooo....after some politick-in and pitying, my charges were what was then a very serious misdemeanor. Weird laws back then...now, the same charge is a felony. I spent 7 months in 23 hour lockdown, much of that time with an angry Jehovah's Witness w/ similar mental problems to mine (he refused meds).
My parents worked on the DA's heart strings, and I got a deal: 1 year of Teen Challenge, followed by community service and counseling, and the charges would be dismissed and the arrest record erased from view by most background checks ("expunged"). This deal was despite all the "professionals" who had treated me saying that I was "malingering, manipulative" etc.
Teen Challenge wasn't perfect (the program manager who was there when I first arrived was fired for relapsing on Rx pain killers), but it was the best program availble for someone in my shoes, and they pitied and graced me through it. I completed the program ("graduated"), and went about racking up my community service hours and doing the required counseling. I did it, and now my arrest record is largely hidden from view.
Thing is...going to TC doesn't make you a Christian. That didn't dawn on me until The Lord moved on my heart, gave me enough humility, to say my own version of The Sinner's Prayer (tears and everything...) and get bona fide, genuinely saved.
That was all of 3 years 8 months ago. I fall into spells of unbelief. Then I remember...those Born Again Christians, the ones I thought were so hyper-conservative, mean-spirited, anti-intellectual, blah blah blah...they're the people who helped spare my life. They're the people who took in a dead eyed, obviously brain damaged "mental patient" and did what they could to teach me how to be a man.
A light came back into my eyes at TC. I went from the tail end of 20 to the very beginning of 25 dead eyed, except for a brief time when I went completely insane and my eyes were glazed over and way too bright. The light that came into my eyes...is still in my eyes, now...and its from The Lord.
So, yeah...random musing of the day (yet another one...). Despite all my (mostly) left wing, "progressive" stances on a lot of social issues, I am Born Again, and a lot of it is because of (mostly conservative) Born Again Christians who actually walk the walk, and have taught me to do the same.
(((Praise Report)))
My worst was: after 2 rounds of involuntary shock, age 24, I attacked my dad. Terrible, sinful, criminal thing to do. I was paranoid, I felt trapped, I was...it wasn't really anger, it was just...there was no way out. I was kinda afraid my (much taller, muscular) dad was going to beat me up. I was more afraid of being sent back to a mental hospital.
Soooo....after some politick-in and pitying, my charges were what was then a very serious misdemeanor. Weird laws back then...now, the same charge is a felony. I spent 7 months in 23 hour lockdown, much of that time with an angry Jehovah's Witness w/ similar mental problems to mine (he refused meds).
My parents worked on the DA's heart strings, and I got a deal: 1 year of Teen Challenge, followed by community service and counseling, and the charges would be dismissed and the arrest record erased from view by most background checks ("expunged"). This deal was despite all the "professionals" who had treated me saying that I was "malingering, manipulative" etc.
Teen Challenge wasn't perfect (the program manager who was there when I first arrived was fired for relapsing on Rx pain killers), but it was the best program availble for someone in my shoes, and they pitied and graced me through it. I completed the program ("graduated"), and went about racking up my community service hours and doing the required counseling. I did it, and now my arrest record is largely hidden from view.
Thing is...going to TC doesn't make you a Christian. That didn't dawn on me until The Lord moved on my heart, gave me enough humility, to say my own version of The Sinner's Prayer (tears and everything...) and get bona fide, genuinely saved.
That was all of 3 years 8 months ago. I fall into spells of unbelief. Then I remember...those Born Again Christians, the ones I thought were so hyper-conservative, mean-spirited, anti-intellectual, blah blah blah...they're the people who helped spare my life. They're the people who took in a dead eyed, obviously brain damaged "mental patient" and did what they could to teach me how to be a man.
A light came back into my eyes at TC. I went from the tail end of 20 to the very beginning of 25 dead eyed, except for a brief time when I went completely insane and my eyes were glazed over and way too bright. The light that came into my eyes...is still in my eyes, now...and its from The Lord.
So, yeah...random musing of the day (yet another one...). Despite all my (mostly) left wing, "progressive" stances on a lot of social issues, I am Born Again, and a lot of it is because of (mostly conservative) Born Again Christians who actually walk the walk, and have taught me to do the same.
(((Praise Report)))
