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Out of state school field trips *vent*

Nikki

Nikki

Member
I'm sorry, but I have to vent a moment. My daughter just turned 14. She's in the 8th grade at a public school.

In 6th grade, the students all went from North Carolina (where we live) to Alabama for 4 days to Space Camp. My DD didn't go because we just didn't feel comfortable sending her that far away, with people we don't know for that long. Instead, we kept her out of school and did our own field trips (Museum, Science Center, Horseback riding).

This year, they are headed to Washington, D.C. We aren't allowing DD to go and she said she doesn't want to go. I'm about SICK AND TIRED of the teachers making comments to her such as "You're going to miss out on a lot, you need to go, you better have a good excuse, etc". First of all, in all my 12 years of schooling (13 if you count Kindergarten), my schools NEVER went on overnight field trips. Not even in high school. Second of all, we can take a FAMILY trip to Washington with our camper, camp in Virginia and go to Washington as a family for CHEAPER than what the school is charging ($395...we can CAMP for $20-something a night, cook our own meals, etc). Third, it is MY choice as a parent to choose whether or not my child goes. Do NOT try making my child feel bad about not going or making her fear that she will get in trouble for not going.

Maybe I'm overprotective....so what. I don't care. BTW...I don't know ANY of the chaperones except the teachers and there is NO WAY I would trust my daughter with any of her teachers overnight. Heck, I hate sending her to school with them each day. One of her teachers finally got fired the other day for an outburst and threatening a student.

***This is not a post asking whether or not she should go. She doesn't want to go, which is good because I wouldn't let her anyways. This is mainly a post for me to vent my frustration with the teachers trying to make her feel bad over not going and explaining why I choose not to allow my child go on overnight field trips.***
 
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We do, but one of us goes with them a chaperon. If we could not do that we would not allow them to go.
 
Danus said:
We do, but one of us goes with them a chaperon. If we could not do that we would not allow them to go.
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At $395 per person (that's what the chaperones have to pay also), neither me nor DH would pay that. We don't even spend that on week and 1/2 long family vacations.

Actually, I just looked and the chaperones have to pay $465!
 
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(I'm married, so I can comment.)

Maybe go with her! (if this is an option).

It won't end there, or course.

I remember some years ago a politician saying, if you are worried about what you may be tempted with during a business trip, take your wife with you!

But it's a serious question and it's the parent's call in the situation described, above.
 
Nikki said:
At $395 per person (that's what the chaperones have to pay also), neither me nor DH would pay that. We don't even spend that on week and 1/2 long family vacations.
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Nikki:

Okay; I understand. This is a very valid consideration.
 
When I was in school, we took an overnight to Disneyland...it was the Senior class trip and late in the Spring of our senior year...most of the kids were late 17, early 18 years old. The trip was heavily chaperoned, with the exception that only two teachers were on the bus. Which was still, OK...not much we could do on the bus and the teachers who were there were the one's everyone was sort of afraid of. One step out of line and we all knew that Miss Anderson or Mr. Olsen would have no problem making someone stay on the bus with the driver.

My mom and dad knew several of the chaperones.

They still...even back in 1979 when things weren't as loose as they are now...debated for quite some time in letting me go. One of them going wasn't an option because they both worked and neither could get time off.

In the end and only because one of the chaperones was a fairly good friend of my mom's, someone who had been a close friend of the family's for quite some time, they let me go.

Had it been when I was 12, and they hadn't known any of the chaperones...no way would they have allowed me to go.

Nor would I allow Viola or Thomas to go either.

If any more teachers make any more comments to your daughter about it....march down to the school and give the Principal a piece of your mind. It's YOUR child, YOUR decision, and your daughter shouldn't be singled out by the teachers for comments because she can't go.

Stick to your guns, Nikki!
 
handy said:
When I was in school, we took an overnight to Disneyland...it was the Senior class trip and late in the Spring of our senior year...most of the kids were late 17, early 18 years old. The trip was heavily chaperoned, with the exception that only two teachers were on the bus. Which was still, OK...not much we could do on the bus and the teachers who were there were the one's everyone was sort of afraid of. One step out of line and we all knew that Miss Anderson or Mr. Olsen would have no problem making someone stay on the bus with the driver.

My mom and dad knew several of the chaperones.

They still...even back in 1979 when things weren't as loose as they are now...debated for quite some time in letting me go. One of them going wasn't an option because they both worked and neither could get time off.

In the end and only because one of the chaperones was a fairly good friend of my mom's, someone who had been a close friend of the family's for quite some time, they let me go.

Had it been when I was 12, and they hadn't known any of the chaperones...no way would they have allowed me to go.

Nor would I allow Viola or Thomas to go either.

If any more teachers make any more comments to your daughter about it....march down to the school and give the Principal a piece of your mind. It's YOUR child, YOUR decision, and your daughter shouldn't be singled out by the teachers for comments because she can't go.

Stick to your guns, Nikki!
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I thought the whole point of a senior trip is that it is NOT chaperoned, 18 is an adult, I guess you have the late 17 year olds but just schedule the senior trip for when everyone is 18.
 
highlife said:
I thought the whole point of a senior trip is that it is NOT chaperoned, 18 is an adult, I guess you have the late 17 year olds but just schedule the senior trip for when everyone is 18.
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Grad Night is a Disneyland sponsored event and is for high school seniors... Disneyland works with schools and the students must be chaperoned.

It's not remotely like spring break where the point is for kids to get together unchaperoned... And I would never in a million years allow either of my kids to go to spring break as long as they are under 18. Once 18, they can make their own decisions, but Steve and I would certainly discourage either of our kids to head to any spring break destination which tend to be characterized by a lot of drinking, drugs and sex.
 
Yes, the chaperone thing can be a good idea. You know, some insurance companies even encourage it, if there is someone getting medical treatment and might sue them, then if the insurance company sends someone along with proven English skills in a 'chaperone' role, as it's called, the person can't afterwards say that they didn't know what the doctor was telling them, because they had every opportunity to have it explained in words of one syllable, so to speak.

So in various contexts, the chaperone thing can be useful.
 
Nikki said:
At $395 per person (that's what the chaperones have to pay also), neither me nor DH would pay that. We don't even spend that on week and 1/2 long family vacations.

Actually, I just looked and the chaperones have to pay $465!
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I hear you. I think you did the right thing. It;s not like they can mark her grade down for not going. You have the right not to allow your child to go.

I particularly like how you supplemented this by having your own field trip. Besides, the public school system can't teach near what a good parent can teach. If you need validation for it, I'm behind you 100% on your decision, so rock on.
 
Danus said:
I hear you. I think you did the right thing. It;s not like they can mark her grade down for not going. You have the right not to allow your child to go.

I particularly like how you supplemented this by having your own field trip. Besides, the public school system can't teach near what a good parent can teach. If you need validation for it, I'm behind you 100% on your decision, so rock on.
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Danus:

Well, yes; exactly. These would be my two cents', as well.

(Interesting screen symbol you have.)
 
I agree with where you stand on this one.Those teachers arent having to balance your checkbook,or work to fill it for that matter,and as such should respect that among other reasons you may have.

I wouldnt send my kid off with chaperones I didnt know either..its just not good parenting in my opinion.

As far as the continued comments from the teachers..I would get the names of which ones continued to have their snappy comments and set up private meetings with them one at a time and tell them exactly why it is that youre not sending your child as well as how you feel about their repeated commentary.Their opinion on the matter really isnt necessary and ultimately the choice isnt theirs.
 
If it's a money thing, then there really isn't much you can do unless they want to sponsor her. But if your family can afford it, then 12 is a perfectly good age to get out there and start building some independence, work within the constraints of other adults and build closer friendships with her friends. She'll have experiences (good & bad) that she'll be able to talk about for the rest of her life. At 12, she's been instilled what is good & bad from you guys as well as from God, so I'd have no problem letting my 12yo (which I do have, boy) spend a few nights away from home to get some real-world experiences. If not, they will be missing out.
 
I was reminded of this thread last night...

A contribution jar was on the counter of a local restaurant for cash donations for a girl who is going on a "field trip" with her class.

20 day field trip. To Europe. Italy, Greece and Austria.

Boy, would I ever be conflicted.

See, I know that should we budget very carefully and work hard, we could swing a trip to DC or Disneyland for our kids.

But, 20 days touring Europe with a group is something we could never do. It cost $7000 for all the fares, lodging, and fees. There is no way we could ever save that much for a family trip.

However, this girl is only 12 years old. I couldn't imagine sending my 12 year old overseas for 20 days with a large group of kids and a few chaperones.

On the other hand, it would be the trip of a life time and give her/him an immeasurable life experience.

I'm of the opinion that once a kid gets to about 15-16 or so, whenever an opportunity to go on a trip like these comes up, they should go. But 12 just seems so young. I don't view either of my kids as being particularly immature for their ages...my son is going to be 12 in just a couple of weeks and my daughter is 14. Both are good kids, able to make good decisions. But, even though they are not "immature" for their age...my son now, and my daughter at 12, were too immature to be gone that far from home, that long, with many more kids than adults.
 
Nikki, I'm with you all the way. I would not want my kid alone with tons of other children who most likely will not respect my childs values, and I absolutely will not tolerate an adult challenging my parental decisions and telling my child I am wrong.

This is just like the school lunch thing, if the parent makes a choice for thier child, it is our LEGAL right to do so. We are the ones that will be held accountable if our child harms someone else in many cases, so you better beleive I have the right to decide what they do.
 
'm about SICK AND TIRED of the teachers making comments to her such as "You're going to miss out on a lot, you need to go, you better have a good excuse, etc"....Third, it is MY choice as a parent to choose whether or not my child goes. Do NOT try making my child feel bad about not going or making her fear that she will get in trouble for not going.
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You've expressed your rant here but you haven't indicated whether you shared your thoughts with the school. Try to objectively put yourself in the teachers' shoes. They are offering your child an educational opportunity and I'm sure they believe it's a good one or they wouldn't be doing it. From their perspective, your child IS going to miss out. If you don't want them to talk about it with your child, perhaps you need to tell them your decision is final and politely ask them not to continue bringing it up.

Something to think about.
 
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