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Persecution?

I think I am experiencing a mix of persecution and oppression. Not that I’m the ultimate Christian because of it but…

It beats being hated in and of the world 🌍 ripped to shreds on the broad road.

I dunno 🤷‍♂️ I’ve been shown tremendous grace and mercy. I’m being taunted with junk from 10 even 20 years ago. I read somewhere that Satan will do that…throw old sins in your face…

And that he makes the way the world 🌍 works more intense more sinister. So…

I dunno 🤷 this time around I’m almost 40. More importantly I have what I need for life and for godliness. It’s a lot easier to bear up under this than round 1 over 10 years ago was because I’m not living in poverty.

Ok ✅ thanks 🙏
 
Hi 👋 thanks 🙏

So…

It’s really frustrating to deal with at times. I had a med check at the clinic recently. The psych nurse 👩‍⚕️ was professional and polite, no problems. On my way out some man 👨…he’s a clinic employee but I don’t know who he is or what he does…

Was acting all surly and weird towards me. I went out to the parking lot and got in my car and for whatever reason he was parked near me in a state vehicle 🚗

More huffing and puffing. I don’t know him at all but he seems to somehow be around whenever I have appointments at the clinic. Weird…

What was worse was when I’d have appointments at the clinic and people in the lobby would say things point at me stuff like that. Weird huh? It reminded me of my first hospitalization…private place that ripped me to shreds and ripped my parents off…

When they had other patients in group therapy and such pick at me and sometimes threaten to beat me up if I didn’t shut up etc. non stop mind games non stop cruelty…

Ugh 😑 what’s extra frustrating is that I’ve only been hospitalized twice both private places both did involuntary shock both ripped my parents off and kept demanding money 💰

And it seems to be the name of the game when so called professionals deal with me.

Did I mention that I’m nearly 40? I don’t think 🤔 that would matter if it wasn’t for the totality of God’s work in my life but..,

In Christ I am more than my past my labels etc. new creation in Christ Jesus amen. So…

I only have to go to the clinic for occasional counseling sessions and med checks. The med checks are now only every three to four months so I’m apparently all sorts of stable. Awesome 😎

Sorry to ramble on…

I also see that antipsychiatry fails because it’s really the world 🌍 we live in not just the mental health industry. Having said that…

I read a Christian article about the general overmedication of USA and the world 🗺️ and how that is satanic not just the psych end of it. Pondering 🤔..,

Thanks again 😎
 
Every time e I read one of your posts about people making comments about you etc I wonder how much of what you say happens is in fact your mental illness being hyper aware of people having conversations and you assume it is about you.

This will be hard for you to read. I'm not trying to hurt you.
If you were involved in a church you would have people who could accompany you,witness any abuse etc of you.
Being involved with other people can only be good for you, so do try.
 
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