Pornography and marriage

[WIP]

To Igor.
You say that you are playing the devil's advocate and I'll accept that. Whether or not you actually believe the positions you've posted it sounds to me like another example of how we sinners attempt to twist our understanding in order to justify our own sinful behavior. There is no gray area with God no matter how we try to manipulate and sugarcoat the truth, God's truth is rock solid.

 

[Igor]

To Igor.
You say that you are playing the devil's advocate and I'll accept that. Whether or not you actually believe the positions you've posted it sounds to me like another example of how we sinners attempt to twist our understanding in order to justify our own sinful behavior. There is no gray area with God no matter how we try to manipulate and sugarcoat the truth, God's truth is rock solid.

WIP, thank you so much for noticing the part where I said I was playing Devil's advocate. Clearly TheLords missed that or doesn't understand what that cliché means, especially when she stated:

...I'm going to assume that you watched/were present for the filming of porn/have been present around other "material" before you met Christ. However, you're "I did not sin" comment is kind of iffy . Regardless, it's the Holy Spirit's job to do convicting of sin. I'm simply surprised by that statement...

where she seems to assume that I could only have been around the filming of porn before I knew Christ! She fails to imagine a bigger picture in which I was actually around it as part of my job. And no, for those who are going to jump to judgment, my job is not a professional pornographer or related to the porn industry in any way (nor was I around it often), and yes, I was a Christian at the time, and had been for many years.

Even though I have clearly been condemned and ridiculed for my questions here, I thank those of you who have taken the time to quote scripture to support your viewpoint. When I first joined this forum I was told there are "thinking" people here, and I have always appreciated that! The questions and statements I made in my post reflect actual concepts people have discussed with me over the years. If some people find this hard to believe, well, all I can say is that there are a lot more viewpoints in this world than any of us realize. Just because someone hasn't run across a particular viewpoint doesn't mean it is made up or even particularly irrational.

The people who discussed these things with me were quite serious and rational, not drooling sex addicts lurking around some dark alley. Some may have been Christians trying to justify sin, but not all. In fact, if it were not hidden by fear, you may find some respected people in your very own churches that hold to some of these viewpoints but just won't talk about them. Let's face it, how many of us have been surprised when some respected Christian was discovered to be involved in something shocking that no one expected?

I was interested in seeing what the responses would be to these situations, especially responses backed up by solid, properly understood scripture. Once again, thank you to those who have tried to do this. Also thank you to anyone who attempts to provide any more verses or input, although it seems the tone of this thread has changed for the worse and is not very conducive to that now. For those of you who are upset because you didn't understand the concept of "Devil's advocate", I apologize. I would hope anyone finding themselves in a counseling situation will show respect to the viewpoints of the person seeking counseling even when you don't personally agree with them. Otherwise it is near impossible to expect them to respect your viewpoints no matter how right you think you are.

 

[Alabaster]

Anyone who unwisely chooses to play devil's advocate usually takes some lumps for it.

 

[theLords]

WIP, thank you so much for noticing the part where I said I was playing Devil's advocate. Clearly TheLords missed that or doesn't understand what that cliché means, especially when she stated:
where she seems to assume that I could only have been around the filming of porn before I knew Christ! She fails to imagine a bigger picture in which I was actually around it as part of my job. And no, for those who are going to jump to judgment, my job is not a professional pornographer or related to the porn industry in any way (nor was I around it often), and yes, I was a Christian at the time, and had been for many years.

Even though I have clearly been condemned and ridiculed for my questions here, I thank those of you who have taken the time to quote scripture to support your viewpoint. When I first joined this forum I was told there are "thinking" people here, and I have always appreciated that! The questions and statements I made in my post reflect actual concepts people have discussed with me over the years. If some people find this hard to believe, well, all I can say is that there are a lot more viewpoints in this world than any of us realize. Just because someone hasn't run across a particular viewpoint doesn't mean it is made up or even particularly irrational.

The people who discussed these things with me were quite serious and rational, not drooling sex addicts lurking around some dark alley. Some may have been Christians trying to justify sin, but not all. In fact, if it were not hidden by fear, you may find some respected people in your very own churches that hold to some of these viewpoints but just won't talk about them. Let's face it, how many of us have been surprised when some respected Christian was discovered to be involved in something shocking that no one expected?

I was interested in seeing what the responses would be to these situations, especially responses backed up by solid, properly understood scripture. Once again, thank you to those who have tried to do this. Also thank you to anyone who attempts to provide any more verses or input, although it seems the tone of this thread has changed for the worse and is not very conducive to that now. For those of you who are upset because you didn't understand the concept of "Devil's advocate", I apologize. I would hope anyone finding themselves in a counseling situation will show respect to the viewpoints of the person seeking counseling even when you don't personally agree with them. Otherwise it is near impossible to expect them to respect your viewpoints no matter how right you think you are.

Again, playing the role of the martyr, eh? I'm not impressed. There are hundreds of victims of the porn industry and my sympathy lies with them and the brutal pain they have received because of it. Read Shelley Lubben's book: The Truth Behind the Fantasy of Porn. She was an ex-porn star who found Christ. I did not condemn your "on the set of porn production" activities, did I? It's funny that you purposely left out the part where I said, "You've established your character as a man of God on this board, so I am going to continue to view you in this light." I simply cannot fathom why any Christian would be on set for such a production. In fact, in Shelley's book she goes on to state that during one of her "scenes" in a time when the Lord was calling to her, He showed up on set. He called to her, "Please leave, please don't do this" that was His reason for being there. Sadly, Shelley told Him "You don't pay my bills!" and then went on to endure one of the most savage and brutal "scenes" of her "career." If porn is so "okay" why is Christ calling porn stars out of the business? Why is He working so tirelessly to save these poor women and men. Did you know that 90% of the women in the porn industry have a past history of sexual assault (molestation and/or rape) and come from broken homes and lives. The only way these women can "perform" is to be constantly drugged up and/or drunk? Shelley stated that most of the times "girls cry during the filming, and scream in pain" and the "director" refuses to stop filming, and if they don't stop crying they will get physically hit.

I think you are failing to see the bigger picture, where porn is destroying the souls of those within it and those viewing it. How can anyone who views porn not be sure that those girls are not under 18? Not victims of sex-trafficking crimes?

Does porn lead unto life or does it lead unto death? It's interesting that you couldn't? (wouldn't?) answer any of the questions I brought up. I have no sympathy on one who decides to play "devil's advocate" on an issue that is destroying so many lives. My sympathy will forever lie with these dear broken men and women. God willing, one day I will be able to share in God's work of bringing healing to their poor souls. You can go ahead and continue to play the "poor, judged, condemned" one here, but if were to see and understand the utter sadistic brutality these women (and men) experience within the porn industry maybe you will see my viewpoint. BTW: I'm simply playing Christ's Advocate here.

 

[jasoncran]

Again, playing the role of the martyr, eh? I'm not impressed. There are hundreds of victims of the porn industry and my sympathy lies with them and the brutal pain they received. Read Shelley Lubben's book: " The Truth Behind the Fantasy of Porn" She was an ex-Porn star who found Christ. I did not condemn your "on the set of porn production" activities, did I? I simply cannot fathom why any Christian would be on set for such a production. In fact, in Shelley's book she goes on to state that during one of her "scenes" in a time when the Lord was calling to her, He showed up on set. He called to her, "Please leave, please don't do this" that was his reason for being there. Sadly, Shelley told Him "You don't pay my bills!" and then went on to endure one of the most savage and brutal "scenes" of her "career." If porn is so "okay" why is Christ calling porn stars out of the business? Why is He working so tirelessly to save these poor women and men. Did you know that 90% of the women in the porn industry have a past history of sexual assault (molestation or rape) and come from broken homes and lives. They only way these women can "perform" is to be constantly drugged up and/or drunk? Shelley stated that most of the times "girls cry during the filming, and scream in pain" and the "director" refuses to stop filming. And if they don't stop crying they will get physically hit.

I think you are failing to see the bigger picture, where porn is destroying the souls of those within it and those viewing it. How can anyone who views porn not be sure that those girls are not under 18? Not victims of sex-trafficking crimes?

Does porn lead unto life or does it lead unto death. It's interesting that you couldn't answer (wouldn't?) answer any of the questions I brought up. I have no sympathy on one who decides to play "devil's advocate" on an issue that is destroying so many lives. My sympathy will forever lie with these dear broken men and women. God willing, one day I will be able to share in God's work of bringing healing to their poor souls.

lords. when i watched porn i often wondered with the ananotomy that i saw on the girls if they werent young as 13 .yes the sites say they are 1157 usc compliant but how does the govt know and be able to monitor the billions of sights that post that trash? i bet you it doesnt really do much until someone reports them or its really obvious.On that note. without getting graphic the girls when they would do close ups would look high on something. eyes blood shot and also you could see on some videos pain was involved and edited out with the dubbed orgasmic sounds that somehow in real sex never happens.i didnt watch videos on anal sex much as that also was disgusting to me and i being a former bi didnt do that.

on women that do that are sexual abused. i dated a stripper and that seem to be her story. low self-esteem and also histories of sexual assault. its my believe that porn may have influenced me to act on my bi nature before christ.

 

[reba]

Please call me a prude, I see no good reason for porn. If some one has a medical problem try prayer not porn. No i have not read the thread.


Way back when it was a sin to go to the movies..... mom suggested if i went to a movie only watch what you would take Jesus with ya to see. I would think the same of photos etc.

 

[theLords]

lords. when i watched porn i often wondered with the ananotomy that i saw on the girls if they werent young as 13 .yes the sites say they are 1157 usc compliant but how does the govt know and be able to monitor the billions of sights that post that trash? i bet you it doesnt really do much until someone reports them or its really obvious.On that note. without getting graphic the girls when they would do close ups would look high on something. eyes blood shot and also you could see on some videos pain was involved and edited out with the dubbed orgasmic sounds that somehow in real sex never happens.i didnt watch videos on anal sex much as that also was disgusting to me and i being a former bi didnt do that.

on women that do that are sexual abused. i dated a stripper and that seem to be her story. low self-esteem and also histories of sexual assault. its my believe that porn may have influenced me to act on my bi nature before christ.

Jason, I am always so grateful for your honesty. This is definitely an issue I am passionate about. I would recommend reading Shelley's book to you, but only if Father God gives you permission to do so. There are some graphic descriptions in that book that you might be sensitive too. After reading her tragic testimony I was extremely messed up for weeks. My heart was so grieved. I then began to read others testimonies and a fire was lit in my heart. One day, I truly hope to work with Shelley Lubben's "Pink Cross" foundation or with the XXX Church to minister to porn stars.

I truly believe that if our Christian men (and women) who struggle with pornography could only know the truth about what goes on inside the industry they would be turned away from porn and it would be less of a struggle. It's simply incredibly tragic. However, once Shelley got to the part of the book where she described meeting Christ and being healed... :D I was in tears. The power of God to heal and restore is glorious.

 

[l'Chante]

I absolutely LOVE this!

My personal experience is that pornography was one of the things that helped break apart my marriage, and any future relationships will only be with a man who will not touch it.

Thanks Hazel. I have a couple of philosophies in life. Would you do (insert action here) if Jesus was standing next to you, or do you really want to be doing that at the exact moment when Jesus returns?

It keeps you on the straight and narrow.

 

[jasoncran]

Jason, I am always so grateful for honesty. This is definitely an issue I am passionate about. I would recommend reading Shelley's book to you, but only if Father God gives you permission to do so. There are some graphic descriptions in that book that you might be sensitive too. After reading her tragic testimony I was extremely messed up for weeks. My heart was so grieved. I then began to read others testimonies and a fire was lit in my heart. One day, I truly hope to work with Shelley Lubben's "Pink Cross" foundation or with the XXX Church to minister to porn stars.

I truly believe that if our Christian men (and women) who struggle with pornography could only know the truth about what goes on inside the industry they would be turned away from porn and it would be less of a struggle. It's simply incredibly tragic. However, once Shelley got to the part of the book where she described meeting Christ and being healed... :D I was in tears. The power of God to heal and restore is glorious.

PORN HAS destroyed my natural use of women to the point that even talking about it gives me a craving to want it look and therefore i cant.I hate it as i know by my gift of empathy and common sense that its evil. why is it watched in the dark unless by the most perverted.? its evil. i craved porn more then the real thing as well those girls never say no. and do what any guy wants.

those that get hooked on porn often have some serious relationship problems with girls and cant keep a girl.often i have wondered why a girl would subject themselves knowingly to that humilation and for a few 1000 dollars an "episode".some of them do have bf and i cant imagine any guy wanting to share his women with any other. what type of relationship is that. hey she yours to have sex with just dont thing that she can love you as she is mine but have it her all you want.

 

[theLords]

PORN HAS destroyed my natural use of women to the point that even talking about it gives me a craving to want it look and therefore i cant.I hate it as i know by my gift of empathy and common sense that its evil. why is it watched in the dark unless by the most perverted.? its evil. i craved porn more then the real thing as well those girls never say no. and do what any guy wants.

those that get hooked on porn often have some serious relationship problems with girls and cant keep a girl.often i have wondered why a girl would subject themselves knowingly to that humilation and for a few 1000 dollars an "episode".some of them do have bf and i cant imagine any guy wanting to share his women with any other. what type of relationship is that. hey she yours to have sex with just dont thing that she can love you as she is mine but have it her all you want.

I understand what you're saying Jason. I totally believe that the Lord can completely heal you in this area.

As for the girls of porn, well as I said many have been sexually assaulted. Shelley was molested by a boy and girl in her childhood so once she hit the age of puberty she became promiscuous. By the age of 17, she was kicked out of her home. In order to fend for herself she worked as a stripper and as a prostitute. So when someone told her she should do porn she thought it was a wonderful idea (as a child she wanted to be an actress) because it was "safer and cleaner" then prostitution. She had no idea what it was truly like. She even got herpes and was miraculously healed by the Lord after He brought her out of the industry.

Past sexual abuse/broken families is one of the main reasons women give themselves up to this industry (and young girls to promiscuity). They view themselves as "dirty" because of the shame from their abuse and so they are able to do it.

The women of porn are looking for love and so are the men who are watching it. It's painfully and heartbreakingly tragic. All of this is done in the search for pure love. I'm very grateful for the God we serve who is bringing this pure love to the men and women of the sex industry. Anyways, I'm getting emotional (lol) so I better get going. I gotta go study...

Thanks for this chat, Jason. I pray God continues to free you from Satan's temptation. Amen.

 

[jasoncran]

for the record i am not looking at porn at present just having a bad week. its not something that you just delve into. i went from hustler/playboy to the emmanuel 7 and then the more hardcore things. its much like a drug. the more you use it the more you need it and in larger amounts.

the healing of it all will take time.

 

[theLords]

for the record i am not looking at porn at present just having a bad week. its not something that you just delve into. i went from hustler/playboy to the emmanuel 7 and then the more hardcore things. its much like a drug. the more you use it the more you need it and in larger amounts.

the healing of it all will take time.

I believe you. You are a man of God, and the fact that you can so openly speak of your struggles is a blessing to those who can't because through you they can see that healing is truly possible. God bless you, brother. :nod

Okay, now I'm off to study my macromolecules and 10 other chapters of biology :o

 

[jasoncran]

I believe you. You are a man of God, and the fact that you can so openly speak of your struggles is a blessing to those who can't because through you they can see that healing is truly possible. God bless you, brother. :nod

Okay, now I'm off to study my macromolecules and 10 other chapters of biology :o

i am jealous of that. I love science. and yet you remain unconvinced of the toe.

 

[theLords]

i am jealous of that. I love science. and yet you remain unconvinced of the toe.

after taking my biology class, i now love science too! we only touched upon toe, so what my professor explained I believe. however, once it got to the point where a wolf transformed into a whale

But let's not hijack another thread!

totopic

 

[Vic C.]

Actually, I deem this thread, dead. :nod