Christ_empowered
Member
I messed up when I was 17-19. To my credit, I had mental problems, I was immature, and nobody really seemed to care. No matter. At 20, I was a prematurely aged, pill popping, girly homosexual, so the (private, expensive) mental hospital gave me tons of heavy ECT when I needed to have my stomach pumped. They kept me there for 3 weeks of psychological torture and heavy drugging. I left dull eyed.
More ECT at 23. Then...
...Teen Challenge, 24-25. Full repentance, 28. Now, I'm 29. I'm coming back from the dead.
Somewhere in the Bible, it says that a body without a spirit is dead. I was dead in my trespasses, dead in my sins, dead from what I had done and what the world had done to me. Still, Jesus kept me going, I guess knowing that I'd wake up and turn to Him one day.
I did, and now...
...I'm not effeminate. I'm pursuing a life of celibacy. No drugs, minima meds, loads of vitamins (Orthomolecular...if you ever go crazy, TRY IT!). My IQ, once as low as 95 (dull-normal), has shot up...
...more importantly: I'm coming back from the dead. No more nights of dream-less sleep. I have bright, vivid dreams, sometimes nightmares....
...my family relationships are better. I'm tight with my dad for the first time ever...
...memories are returning. I'm supposed to be, at best, a vegetable. Jesus wants something more for my life.
Lots of people aren't happy about it around here. "Uppity mental patient," all that nonsense. I can't care anymore. I mean, I just can't. This is God's work in my life.
I praise God for saving a wretch like me. I've seen Him save others, too, and I praise Him for that. I have no idea where He's going with my life. I've had mental "issues" since childhood, and now...
...He's bringing me back from the dead, as a completely different person. I'll probably have to move, sooner or later, and find a community where an "uppity mental patient" can get on with his life...
...Praise God for His unending mercy and kindness. Better alive as a bright eyed, work-in-progress Christian working on building a future than being the living dead as a "mental patient," right? Better to suffer through things, feel things, think things, than to be a mental patient with no feelings, no initiative, nothing but slow decay in a mental hospital...
...some rambling, I'm sorry. I'm blessed to be alive, and blessed to know Christ and be in a position to know other Christians. Praise God.
More ECT at 23. Then...
...Teen Challenge, 24-25. Full repentance, 28. Now, I'm 29. I'm coming back from the dead.
Somewhere in the Bible, it says that a body without a spirit is dead. I was dead in my trespasses, dead in my sins, dead from what I had done and what the world had done to me. Still, Jesus kept me going, I guess knowing that I'd wake up and turn to Him one day.
I did, and now...
...I'm not effeminate. I'm pursuing a life of celibacy. No drugs, minima meds, loads of vitamins (Orthomolecular...if you ever go crazy, TRY IT!). My IQ, once as low as 95 (dull-normal), has shot up...
...more importantly: I'm coming back from the dead. No more nights of dream-less sleep. I have bright, vivid dreams, sometimes nightmares....
...my family relationships are better. I'm tight with my dad for the first time ever...
...memories are returning. I'm supposed to be, at best, a vegetable. Jesus wants something more for my life.
Lots of people aren't happy about it around here. "Uppity mental patient," all that nonsense. I can't care anymore. I mean, I just can't. This is God's work in my life.
I praise God for saving a wretch like me. I've seen Him save others, too, and I praise Him for that. I have no idea where He's going with my life. I've had mental "issues" since childhood, and now...
...He's bringing me back from the dead, as a completely different person. I'll probably have to move, sooner or later, and find a community where an "uppity mental patient" can get on with his life...
...Praise God for His unending mercy and kindness. Better alive as a bright eyed, work-in-progress Christian working on building a future than being the living dead as a "mental patient," right? Better to suffer through things, feel things, think things, than to be a mental patient with no feelings, no initiative, nothing but slow decay in a mental hospital...
...some rambling, I'm sorry. I'm blessed to be alive, and blessed to know Christ and be in a position to know other Christians. Praise God.
