Christ_empowered
Member
- Oct 23, 2010
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- 10,725
I need to show more gratitude. I have too much to be thankful for to keep wallowing in the past. So...
...I'm making a B in one class this subterm at Liberty and very close to an A (89.something %) in another one. I recently did my first discussion board for both classes...and got 100% of the possible points for both. That's huge, because the classes at Liberty all use discussion boards, and DB counts for a big chunk of your grade.
I'm getting along well with my parents, especially my father. My mother is harder because, well...she has some of her own issues to deal with. She grew up poor and worked her way up. I think she looks at me and wonders "what in God's name am I doing supporting him?" My dad is much, much more understanding.
Back in the day, I didn't write well. I could barely even form a coherent sentence, much less write well. Now, the profs at Liberty are praising my writing style and the content of what I write, as well. That's huge.
Sometimes I think...why would God do this for me? I didn't think of that until recently, when I finally had enough sense to realize that people like me are usually in jail, prison, mental hospitals, group homes, or dead. At the very least, I should be living in abject poverty, subject to the worst sort of involuntary psychiatric "treatment" imaginable.
Now, I have sense enough to realize..there are lots of people in this world, and there's plenty of misery to go around. Then again, I think miracles and healings are under-reported and under-appreciated. Anyway, point is...I appreciate The Lord's grace and love towards me now, whereas for a long time, I did feel entitled to "good stuff" from on high.
My friend, Verna, she's in her early 70s, and her husband (same age) died from cancer almost exactly 1 year ago. So, when it finally dawned on me that God didn't owe me anything, I asked her "Verna, why would God do this for me, and not for some other people?" I couldn't say Ronnie's name out loud.
Verna, in her infinite wisdom, said "Ronnie had a good life. He worked hard, he loved me and my children, he loved The Lord, and it was time for him to go home. God did this for you so you can have a life."
So, yeah...a praise report. The God who never owed me anything, and now kind of scares me (because He never owed me anything and He could have sent me to Hell), has seen fit to bless me, of all people. I'm reminded of another wise Pentecostal-ism, "be a river, not a pond." At some point, despite what appears to be severe mental issues, I'd like to bless others. How, I don't know...that remains to be seen.
Also, pray for me to develop a good work ethic. I'm not deliberately lazy, but...I was a semi-vegetable for years, so having the ability to do things is relatively new to me. I'm already less apathetic (Praise God!) and I'm doing little things here and there because I suspect/believe the nightmare is over (let's pray so), but...I need to develop discipline and a good work ethic, and I'm not quite sure how.
...I'm making a B in one class this subterm at Liberty and very close to an A (89.something %) in another one. I recently did my first discussion board for both classes...and got 100% of the possible points for both. That's huge, because the classes at Liberty all use discussion boards, and DB counts for a big chunk of your grade.
I'm getting along well with my parents, especially my father. My mother is harder because, well...she has some of her own issues to deal with. She grew up poor and worked her way up. I think she looks at me and wonders "what in God's name am I doing supporting him?" My dad is much, much more understanding.
Back in the day, I didn't write well. I could barely even form a coherent sentence, much less write well. Now, the profs at Liberty are praising my writing style and the content of what I write, as well. That's huge.
Sometimes I think...why would God do this for me? I didn't think of that until recently, when I finally had enough sense to realize that people like me are usually in jail, prison, mental hospitals, group homes, or dead. At the very least, I should be living in abject poverty, subject to the worst sort of involuntary psychiatric "treatment" imaginable.
Now, I have sense enough to realize..there are lots of people in this world, and there's plenty of misery to go around. Then again, I think miracles and healings are under-reported and under-appreciated. Anyway, point is...I appreciate The Lord's grace and love towards me now, whereas for a long time, I did feel entitled to "good stuff" from on high.
My friend, Verna, she's in her early 70s, and her husband (same age) died from cancer almost exactly 1 year ago. So, when it finally dawned on me that God didn't owe me anything, I asked her "Verna, why would God do this for me, and not for some other people?" I couldn't say Ronnie's name out loud.
Verna, in her infinite wisdom, said "Ronnie had a good life. He worked hard, he loved me and my children, he loved The Lord, and it was time for him to go home. God did this for you so you can have a life."
So, yeah...a praise report. The God who never owed me anything, and now kind of scares me (because He never owed me anything and He could have sent me to Hell), has seen fit to bless me, of all people. I'm reminded of another wise Pentecostal-ism, "be a river, not a pond." At some point, despite what appears to be severe mental issues, I'd like to bless others. How, I don't know...that remains to be seen.
Also, pray for me to develop a good work ethic. I'm not deliberately lazy, but...I was a semi-vegetable for years, so having the ability to do things is relatively new to me. I'm already less apathetic (Praise God!) and I'm doing little things here and there because I suspect/believe the nightmare is over (let's pray so), but...I need to develop discipline and a good work ethic, and I'm not quite sure how.
