[__ Prayer __] Pray for My Ex

  • CFN has a new look, using the Eagle as our theme

    "I bore you on eagle's wings, and brought you to Myself" (Exodus 19:4)

    More new themes will be coming in the future!

  • Desire to be a vessel of honor unto the Lord Jesus Christ?

    Join For His Glory for a discussion on how

    https://christianforums.net/threads/a-vessel-of-honor.110278/

  • Read the Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ?

    Read through this brief blog, and receive eternal salvation as the free gift of God

    /blog/the-gospel

  • CFN welcomes a new contributing member!

    Please welcome Beetow to our Christian community.

    Blessings in Christ, and we pray you enjoy being a member here

  • Taking the time to pray? Christ is the answer in times of need

    https://christianforums.net/threads/psalm-70-1-save-me-o-god-lord-help-me-now.108509/

  • Have questions about the Christian faith?

    Come ask us what's on your mind in Questions and Answers

    https://christianforums.net/forums/questions-and-answers/

  • Focus on the Family

    Strengthening families through biblical principles.

    Focus on the Family addresses the use of biblical principles in parenting and marriage to strengthen the family.

Navigator

Member
Oct 30, 2011
471
21
Christian
Yes
My ex-girlfriend is going through a rough time in her life. She is dreadfully lost and she needs to find Christ again, because she seems to be aligning herself with pleasures of the world (not sex, but still..) She's a Christian, but at this point, her heart is in the wrong place and she needs guidance. Right now in our relationship, I can't help her; she's expressed her wish to be single and "have fun." She seems to be having an identity crisis, because this isn't her at all. I miss the girl I liked years ago and while she doesn't want to be with me now, I still don't want her to get hurt.

Thanks All and God Bless :)
 
Regardless of the lack of comments, I would like to thank anybody and everybody that said even a little prayer for my ex. She is getting much better and it's making me glad. We are talking much more now. This past week she showed interest in going to my religious youth group with me, without me even asking, so that is a good sign. It appears that the "fun" she was looking for isn't as fun as she thought. I'm glad she seems to be coming around and I hope this progress continues.

Again thank you anybody who showed concern; I appreciate it. :)
 
Certainly. :praying
Is this a sudden change in her behavior, or has she been withdrawing from you increasingly over some time?

I, personally, would want to find out what is causing this...it could be (and you don't have to share anything more) that your influence is affecting her. That could be good or not so good. It could be that she can't handle whatever pressures your relationship is causing. Again, good or not, IDK.

Regardless of the reasons, I would suggest that you back off from the relationship a bit...but not quietly. By that I mean, have a talk with her, if she will, and share how you know that she feels she needs more space to make decisions (or whatever God lays on your heart to say along those lines.) That you want to stay in her life, and stay friendly. Sometimes that's enough, when followed through, to keep the communication flowing.

Doing that may keep the relationship even if she does follow some worldly ways... and you'll be there in her life still to help her when she crashes, if that occurs.

If it's because of your faith in Christ that she feels is too strong for her, then again, back off but be there...and gently, lovingly, be patient and caring.

It could be other things or a situation she hasn't shared with you, that is causing her distress to change. I hope it's just indecision on her part.

I wish you well my friend.
 
Certainly. :praying
Is this a sudden change in her behavior, or has she been withdrawing from you increasingly over some time?

I, personally, would want to find out what is causing this...it could be (and you don't have to share anything more) that your influence is affecting her. That could be good or not so good. It could be that she can't handle whatever pressures your relationship is causing. Again, good or not, IDK.

Regardless of the reasons, I would suggest that you back off from the relationship a bit...but not quietly. By that I mean, have a talk with her, if she will, and share how you know that she feels she needs more space to make decisions (or whatever God lays on your heart to say along those lines.) That you want to stay in her life, and stay friendly. Sometimes that's enough, when followed through, to keep the communication flowing.

Doing that may keep the relationship even if she does follow some worldly ways... and you'll be there in her life still to help her when she crashes, if that occurs.

If it's because of your faith in Christ that she feels is too strong for her, then again, back off but be there...and gently, lovingly, be patient and caring.

It could be other things or a situation she hasn't shared with you, that is causing her distress to change. I hope it's just indecision on her part.

I wish you well my friend.

It seemed sudden to me, but when she first decided that she wants a break, she mentioned she was mulling over the decision for a week or two before she brought it up.

See, she is VERY busy. She is part of a sorority, in a very demanding major (time-wise), and tutors, along with having a part-time job. I knew she was and would be busy before I dated her and it wasn't any problem for me, but apparently, just the fact that when she would get a small bit of free time and would just want to hang out with her friends (which I encouraged!)..she'd feel bad and get stressed because she was worried about NOT hanging out with me.

I don't think..and she never brought up that I was overbearing in any way. In fact, she mentioned that I was conducting myself great as a boyfriend, which is what made her feel so bad...she felt she wasn't giving me what "I deserved." I told her I didn't care, and understood she's busy, but it was just stressful for her.

I have not pushed my faith on her AT ALL during our relationship. I know she is Christian and sins just like I do, so I never slammed her with Scripture scoldings or anything like that. I think she NOTICED, through the involvement in my youth group, that I appeared to have a more solid relationship with God than her, but this was not something that I ever brought up or even flaunted.

We have talked a few times on the matter and her answers are similar, but something is added or tweaked each time, so I honestly think it IS more indecision on her part, like you said. I plan on talking with her more on the situation now that we are talking more and she seems to be opening back up to me again.

Thanks again, and I'll give updates as to what ends up happening.
 
To me, 2 weeks is sudden. If you had been growing apart for 6 months, then that would be different. Something changed in her life, apart from you is what it sounds like. It could be the busy-ness, it could be the peer pressure of those she is around. She might find she likes it, she might find she doesn't. How long you wait is up to you, of course. But if you've been together a while, she may just want to feel a change, with no strings attached. Maybe you could release her from the ongoing relationship, to drop her stress, but then suggest you get together once a month for lunch or something, to touch base. If that doesn't occur, then you know she feels the relationship is over for now. imo.
 
To me, 2 weeks is sudden. If you had been growing apart for 6 months, then that would be different. Something changed in her life, apart from you is what it sounds like. It could be the busy-ness, it could be the peer pressure of those she is around. She might find she likes it, she might find she doesn't. How long you wait is up to you, of course. But if you've been together a while, she may just want to feel a change, with no strings attached. Maybe you could release her from the ongoing relationship, to drop her stress, but then suggest you get together once a month for lunch or something, to touch base. If that doesn't occur, then you know she feels the relationship is over for now. imo.

I don't think the peer pressure is it. From what I've seen and heard, all of her friends like me haha. I honestly think it's a busyness thing..she is doing things all day and she just wants to "have fun." Her idea of fun (partying) is different than mine is and I told her that with her's she won't be happy with the result..but I'd let her do it regardless if that keeps her less stressed. That was probably 3 weeks ago..since then I feel she's moving closer to me. I've been pretty constant in what I've been doing. If she doesn't contact me...I don't push it, but when she does, I respond.

Lately SHE has come to me with attention and has expressed a want to hang out more..so I guess you could say I'm taking what she's giving me. I figure as long as I'm not the one pushing it on her, it's all good if we hang out more. And I don't think I'm making her feel trapped in anyway because I let her do her thing...

Like I said, I'll likely talk with her about it again, but for now....we are friends and hanging out somewhat normally.


**And on a side note...I know that jealousy is a bad feeling to have, but man....it's hitting me hard. Anytime I see a picture of her at a party with other guys..I get annoyed and worried and a little mad. They aren't even doing anything major, just hugging, or standing close together for a picture...I can't stand it. It's not that I don't want her to have guy friends...that's not a fair request...but these guys are the typical frat guys. 98% of them are looking for sex and if they tell you otherwise, they're probably lying. I know she won't do anything stupid, but I can't say the same thing about the guys....and to see her smiling and close to THOSE type of guys just gets me angry...any advice on how to combat these feelings????

Geez...sorry to keep adding stuff, BUT I hung out with her tonight and she said that she doesn't even want to go to the parties at fraternities and such anymore! I was very happy to hear this...not because I don't want her to have fun, but the guys there are....(not good guys to hang around with). She still said she wants to go to bars and stuff...but i feel like that's more controlled and I feel a little better about that. Anyway she said that she's missed me and this weekend i noticed she's been reverting to some actions/name calling that she'd exhibit when we were dating...yet she still isn't sure if she wants to date. THAT'S what gets me. She says she misses me, does basically everything outside of kissing with me that we did when we dated, wants to spend time/text me a lot, yet she doesn't want to date/doesn't know if she wants to date....
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Somewhat good news from yesterday/today. We went out to get dinner and see a movie last night. It was a good time, despite both of us being sick! :(

At dinner, she apologized for acting "so crazy" the past two weeks, which included most of our breakup. Sooo it seems she is continuing to come around. I didn't necessarily know how to respond haha...so I assured her that she was fine and I knew she had a lot on her mind. She insisted that it was still wrong for her to do that to me and while I slightly agree......I said that I was fine and told her to not be so hard on herself.

We both seemed close throughout the night...felt like we were dating. I helped her make a poster for her sorority and watched tv till about 1230. She was really tired and sick..and she mentioned she wanted to spend the night (not like that haha). I told her I'd like that and so she did. That's twice she's spent the night at my house since we broke up and she mentioned that she wants to tonight as well. I like that we're doing these things again, but I wish we could date again.....is that selfish of me? I mean she's doing things with me that we did when we dated..I don't understand why we can't...